Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I used to believe that as long as one puts in the effort, one will likely succeed. Even if success does not come along one's way, at least one knows one has put in one's best and should move on with no regrets.

By God's grace, things have turned slightly more positive, and it seems the light is just round the corner. After having hit many deadends, I think the struggle through the tunnel is coming to an end soon.

But it is not the result I had hoped for. I have fought hard, used my ammunition, tried knocking hard, but doors are not opening.

I will be treading a route that I had resisted. But my acceptance lies in my belief that God is in control. I am grateful that He has sent an angel to assist me. I have nothing to offer except nonsense, and still the angel helps me. And I really really appreciate it. I wondered if he was a Christian and yes, he is a kind-hearted soul who is also a brother-in-Christ. May God bless him richly, I have never felt so indebted to someone who went out of his way to help me and I actually feel bad about it. People who know me are aware that I never like to ask people for assistance if I could help it...I'd much rather solve it myself than to impose myself on others. But he has helped me without me asking, and I can only pray that God will bless him so abundantly and richly.

God knows what is best for me. I know that while I may resist and be unhappy with the decision, when I look back in future, I know all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

Job Interview

I have never felt so belittled from a job interview.

After the interview, I thought to myself how could people be so mean. After having gone through an interview that was distastefuly conducted, with interviewers interrupting me several times even before I could finish my explanations, I knew that I will not want to work with this group of people. And I am reminded that if I am ever an interviewer, I will never be so mean.

I can't really put my finger on how mean the interviewers were. Other than not exercising the courtesy to wait for me to finish my answer, the questions/comments were plain rude:

"Why are you asking this question? Wasn't HR supposed to tell you that before you applied for the job?"
"Were you a high flyer in your previous job?"
"You are wrong."
"Oh, if you are equally interested in both departments, then you are going to the other department, not this department."

I am just looking for a job, and I understand that they are out to find the most suitable candidate. But interviewing a candidate doesn't mean that you have to belittle the candidate. I hated the interview.

Now I am in a dilemma. Given my current job options, I thought this is the job I would gladly have taken up. But I probably botched the interview, not that I want it anyway. To work under people who seem to think so highly of themselves is not my cup of tea.

Even if they are really intelligent and smart, humility is one word they have to learn. And they have to remember that what counts are the treasures we build in heaven, not the number of candidates they belittled.

My key concern is that the same HR lady was present at both interviews, so while I performed decently with the other department, she would have seen how badly mauled I was at this other interview.

Given the 2 job options, this was the job option that would allow me to lead a more stable life. The other job just requires too much travelling.

I don't know why God allowed today's incident to happen. But I am just praying that He will guide me. He knows what type of job I want to do and thankfully, He is allowing me to have a taste of it. But it is just a temporary assignment which I have to leave soon..to face up to reality to try a job that I may not be interested in, but practical enough not to reject because I know that I need to start work, earn my keep so that I can start planning for other aspects of my life.

God's ways always prevail, but just when I feel that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I find myself gropping in the dark again. I trust that God will guide, but I can't help feeling upset at how circumstances have turned against me unexpectedly.

5 Loaves and 2 Fishes

Fell in love with this song even before I finished listening to it the first time.

This song tells of a famous parable that I first heard when I was in Primary One. Even though I have heard this parable several times (given I am now many times older than my tender age of 7 years old in P1, heh), this song allowed me to view the parable from a different perspective and to understand that it takes courage to give something that I think is small and unworthy, not to be afraid that I would be laughed at, but to give and trust that something good will come out of it.

I hope this song will bless all of you who listen to it. It may take a while to load the song, but trust me, its worth the time.

I am sitting at Burger King now attempting to blog using my phone! As a tech laggard this is new to me. But i am definitely taking longer to key in my words. Good practise for my sms skills though :) Ok how do i start a new line,hmmz.

Ha i found out. Press '0' thrice to get an arrow sign and then hit '#'. Anyway trying to phone-blog is not supposed to be the main content of this entry. Now comes the (ahem) serious stuff.

Just went for a job interview today with a boutique fund management firm. After reading about the firm and hearing rave reviews about it,I was so excited and nervous about the interview. Will take it even if pay cut!

The interview was initially conducted by a lady and a young man, both very pleasant and nice. But they grilled me about banks, including areas I was unfamiliar with. The lady seemed very familiar with credit issues, and that was definitely not my forte. Stressed. But the male interviewer was very nice, kept nodding his head as if to agree and to encourage me as i was trying my best to 'sian' my answers.

Then the big boss arrived. He seemed like a very nice experienced man. I suddenly felt my stress level rising and the butterflies in my stomach were flittering like crazy. This is the boss! So with my nerves going crazy, i stumbled in my reply abit while trying to maintain a calm composure. Then I was asked a question and gave a reply. Then the boss asked me for another example and I just could not think of any. Sighz. Bad response. But the interviewers still seemed nice and the boss explained his answer to me. So daz.

Despite the glitches during the interview, I left the interview feeling quite positive but a bit disappointed that the firm had no vacancy at the moment.

But the more i think about it, maybe the interview didnt go as well as i thought. There were some questions I could not answer, but I really dunno mah. But I know I did my best and will just leave God to do the rest. Feeling a bit braindead from the grilling during the interview but it was a good experience.

Deep down I believe God has a job planned out for me somewhere. I just gotta keep searching, practising my interview skills, and the job will come in His time!

In the meantime, I am thinking of getting a WII set to while my time away :)

Tumble of Financial Titans

15 September 2008 will be a day that will go down in memory lane. After many months of having their share prices tossed around (mainly downwards) in the credit storm, some of the biggest names in the global financial sector are keeling under pressure.

3 big news today:
1) Lehman files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection
2) Merrill Lynch sold to Bank of America for US$50b
3) AIG turns to Fed for financing in the face of rating downgrades and to ward off a looming liquidity crisis

It is scary how events in the financial sector have unfolded. Now, 3 of the biggest names in the banking sector will only be history.

Bear Stearns was the first to go when it was bought over by JP Morgan in March this year for pittance - $2 per share, over 90% discount, you can't even get such bargains at GSS.

Now no one wants to buy Lehman. The US government has decided not to stand behind Lehman as it has just recently thrown its backing behind US mortgage giants, Fannie and Freddie, who must not fail at all costs. So Lehman is left to collapse in the cold.

AIG is an international insurer, and I dread to think what would happen if anything adverse should happen to the insurance group. The millions who have paid AIG for peace of mind (me including) are probably all feeling panicky now. But I surely hope that the US government will support AIG. It will be unfair if even insurance monies are subject to the same great deal of volatility we have seen in the capital markets.

It seems cash is king for now. Deposits placed with banks may turn to nothing when banks collapse, and the monthly insurance premiums we set aside as protection for our future is now facing the possibility of turning to dust.

I really really hope the financial storm will come to an end soon. We are already seeing a restructuring of the financial sector in general - big names disappearing and new giants emerging, soverign wealth funds taking stakes in some of the banks, banks segregating the more risky investment banking business from other businesses...what's next to come? I surely hope clear skies are on their way.

None Like You

I'm a bit hesistant about writing this, cos it may be a coincidence. But again it may not be.



Coincidence #1.

Was in church today when I heard a song that sent tears welling up my eyes the moment I saw the lyrics on the projector screen.

Backtrack a week ago, it was worship during church service and it seemed a song was placed in my heart - one of my favourite tunes of all time - "There is none like You". And for some reason, I really felt like singing the song and was wondering whether God placed the song in my heart for a reason, and wondered if it was a song we would sing during service. But it didn't happened, and I just told myself I was being oversensitive.

But this week, coincidence or not, this song was sung in church! I had forgotten those thoughts from last week, but when I heard the song, I was reminded how this song was popped into my head last week..and as I heard this song, I felt that God was telling me He listens, He always listens, even to small wishes like these, and He answers...in His own time.

Coincidence #2.

I'm a pretty hygenic person by nature, and always feel a bit awkward with the manner bread is passed during Holy Communion every week. Cos there is a bun that goes around and everyone pinches a bit of the bread from the plate. That is bordering on my hygiene limits a little, but I brush it off by telling myself that it is just a more convenient way of passing bread since this church observes Holy Communion every Sunday, and since my stomach can be quite sensitive at time, I would pinch off only a miniscule bit each time. And that was something I would accept if I decided to make this the church I were to grow in.

But surprise today...the church swapped the bread to pre-cut separate pieces of dough! I was pleasantly surprised. It seemed that God knew about my reservation and made the swap on exactly the same day when He decided the song in my heart should be sang in church. I felt He wanted me to know that He is real and He is really real.

How do I know He is real? I just know..but sometimes, I get doubts, but I want to cling on to reminders like these to remember. Honestly, I fear commitment to church, but I know I need to overcome this if I need to move to a closer relationship with Him. I have some fears, some doubts...but I also know above all, if He really is real as He has shown himself to be, then He is more important than anything because it is my relationship with Him that will count ultimately.

There are some things placed in my heart that I don't dare to utter, cos I'm not sure if its just my own thinking or God's thoughts. When I was much younger, I used to envy those who could hear God and I wondered why God never speaks to me? A bit jealous with His seemingly partiality...considering all I have been through (although it probably pales in comparison to trials others have faced)...but I've learnt all things happen for a reason, and its not for me to question, but to persevere and to make the best of my circumstances.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts andyour minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Fireworks

Fireworks never fail to excite me! The neon colours, sparks and noise all add to the festivity. It is almost impossible to feel down when one is busy admiring fireworks display.

I had the opportunity to attend the Singapore Fireworks Celebration 2008 on Saturday. Got free tickets from the purchase of my LG microwave.

It was raining cats and dogs on Sat PM though, but lucky it reduced to a drizzle in the late evening. So aunty me - armed with my brolly and shades (yes, I needed both items to protect my new-found perfect vision) - was able to view the spectacular display of fireworks at Marina Bay. The rain became heavier just as the fireworks display started, but never mind the rain - the show was awesome. As I sat there staring at the display of lights against the dark-pitched sky, I thought to myself how fireworks were like many many shooting stars at one go. Its gorgeous and reminds me of the first time I saw my first spectacular shooting star in Australia.

Fireworks are a sure way to grab anyone's attention - young and old, who wouldn't like them? A great way to celebrate, it never fails to excite, and at least for me, I know I'll never tire of this great invention.

Here are some photos of the fireworks, but they definitely don't do justice to the actual display. Always better to see them firsthand.

Some other photos taken after the display.

Pre and Post Lasik

It was a gruelling 4 weeks having to stay away from contact lens. Having to don spectacles from the age of 9 led to the self-realisation of the vanity trait that was inherent in me (well, most ladies are vain and few would stamp their feet in protest of this fact).

For a start, I would usually avoid wearing glasses unless necessary. Hence my spectacles were found more often hanging off the middle of my pinafore instead of my face..and it didn't help that I had a flat nose so I was constantly irritated by my glasses slipping off my face. Life was such until I was introduced to contact lenses - freedom from glasses! Still, I consciously alternated between glasses and contact lenses because my eyes would get irritable if I were to wear contact lens for consecutive days. It was always my wish to undergo Lasik, but I always hesitated, having heard of the risks, as well as having concerns with my unstable degree.

But finally, having heard all the positive comments from my friends who had gone for Lasik, I decided to take it up. So that was the start of my 4 weeks off contact lens. In some way, it was also a path of self-discovery. During these 4 weeks, I realised that I could not bear to put on any make-up or wear skirts..not with my spectacles. Somehow, inherently I felt that glasses made me look ugly. I inspected myself closely in front of the mirror..I know I'm no beauty, but certainly I don't qualify as ugly with my glasses rite? But nonetheless, that was how I felt, so for the entire 4 weeks, I was always dressed very simply. But the advantage was that it halved my time spent in dressing up - minus the time taken to rinse and wear my contact lens, putting on make-up - I certainly became more efficient, and in a way, less vain.

The day of transformation came on Thursday - 21 August 2008. I finally had my Lasik operation. I was feeling a little apprehensive and nervous. This is not the first operation in my life, but nonetheless fears were unavoidable because the gift of sight is so significant to me. My right eye had also been itching on and off for the past 2 weeks, which was why I decided to postpone the operation by a week. But the surgeon allayed my concerns and said that the itch shouldn't pose any problem.

The surgery was not as scary as I thought it would be. I just made sure I kept my head stationary and my eye fixed on the blinking red light. Otherwise, it was just a bit of eye pressure (presumably to cut my cornea?) and then the laser zapping away to trim my cornea to give me 6-6 vision. It was painless and fast, and my doctor was most encouraging.

The first night my eyes felt a bit of glare and there was slight pressure in my right eye. The next time, my eyes felt much better. But I still feel that my eyes are tired. And I am still trying not to overstrain my eyes...resting and closing my eyes as often as I remember. My fears of the risks of Lasik had made me realise how important and how precious the gift of sight is. And I would say it is the most important amongst all our senses, including ladies' 6th sense.

I thank God that my Lasik was successful, and I now have perfect eyesight. I just hope to be able to take care of my new eyes so that my vision will always remain this way (Btw, I'm drinking a cup of wolfberry tea now). And today for the first time in 4 weeks, I wore a skirt out =)

The convenience of life without glasses. For an instance, I still subconsciously tell myself that I need to go and remove my contact lens later. But the next moment, I remind myself that I now have perfect eyesight! I'm glad I made the decision, and certainly, I echo the same comments from all my friends - No Regrets!

Happy 43rd Birthday Singapore!

This year's National Day Song is great..the tune and the meaningful lyrics got me hooked the 1st time I saw the MTV on TV. Now I stay glued to the TV whenever the MTV comes on.

Thanks to the great invention of Internet and Youtube, I can rewatch the MTV over and over with just a few clicks on my laptop. If this was 10 years ago, I'll probably be holding a tape recorder to the TV and recording the song onto a casette tape. So many thanks to advancements in technology I have already ceased this primitive practice.

Shine For Singapore - Hady Mirza


There's also a Chinese version by Cai Chun Jia, although I much prefer the English version by Hady.

Qing Kong Wan Li - Joi Chua


Listening to National Day Songs brings me back to primary and secondary days where I'll be crooning National Day Songs almost every other day in school. In those days, my top favs were "Heritage" and "It's the Little Things". For the past few years, National Day Songs have become more contemporary and are no different from K-songs..I'm hoping the MTV of this year's National Day Song will be available at KTV so that I can belt to my heart's content. I'm already starting to do so at home..opps.

As National Day approaches and I am reminded how a little fishing village 43 years ago survived against all odds to become a busy financial hub today, I feel a sense of national pride. I hereby unashamedly proclaim that I am proud to be a Singaporean, and I thank God for Singapore. My life would be totally different if I was born in a different country. I love the green in Singapore, the excellent spread of local delicacies, the strict laws against littering, great security which gives me peace of mind, our capable and uncorrupted government, freedom of religion, and our belief in racial harmony and equality.

As a tribute to the country I love, I've posted the videos of some other National Day Songs which like:

There's No Place I'd Rather Be - Kit Chan


We Will Get There - Stephanie Sun


Where I Belong - Tanya Chua


Home - Kit Chan


And here's a song written and sung by my pastor..although this is not exactly my type of song, i think it is apt to post it because the video includes footages from World World II and serves as a good reminder of how far Singapore has progressed, and to be grateful for the peace and security we are enjoying everyday!

Keyboard Classes

Post MFE..I'm leading a life free from lectures and textbooks. Currently only in 1st gear when it comes to sending out job applications. I admit life is pretty good in the absence of work- and school-related stresses, but at least I've embarked on a meaningful and enriching activity - weekly keyboard classes.

Meaningful because as far as memory lane takes me, I've always wanted to learn the piano/keyboard, but somehow always proscrastinated. So it means a lot to me that I am in the process of fulfilling one of my goals in life. Enriching because I believe music enriches one's mind and has the unique ability to touch one's soul.

Every week, there is a theme behind the songs we learn to play. Other than having to grasp with the challenges of playing the keyboard with my stiff fingers, I also learn more about God through the class.

Last week, I learnt that God often referred to Himself as Yahweh (Eternally Existing & Unchanging One). At first, it meant nothing to me. But as I sat there and pondered, it dawned upon me how awesome this name was. The name seemed to have an aura and authority that evokes both awe and fear in me.

This week, I learnt that the universe contains at least 1 billion galaxies, and I like the way my instructor puts it - we are individuals in Singapore, which is part of South East Asia, which is part of Asia, which is part of Earth, which is part of the Solar System, which is part of the Milky Way, which is part of 1 galaxy, which is part of 1 billion galaxies. And God only had to speak, and the universe was created.

To put that into perspective, we are infinitesimally small in comparison to the universe, but we are not insignificant to Him!

This morning I was awoken by tummyaches, and had to rush to the toilet a couple of times. After that I felt perfectly fine and went out. After being out for 8 hours, I felt slight twitches in my stomach on my train ride home, which were signs of impending tummyaches - and when that happens - resumption of mad rushes to the loo. To me, it was abit unusual how my tummyaches only resumed when I am back home. Psychological? Maybe it had to do with the teh-si I drank when I was out? Or maybe God was just reminding me He has full control of all situations, even this

When I sit to think, and put my heart and mind to remind myself that God really does exists, my perspective of life changes. He is in full control all the time, even though events do not always unfold the way I would like them to. I am not sure how my job interview went, but I know that He will give me a job with a firm of His choice in His own time, and I'll just have to do my best, work hard, contribute, and try to be a blessing to the colleagues around me.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

Friends?

Writing within the confines of a public blog limits freedom of expression to only things that one would like to share with family and friends. I write to share, but also to remember. So decision is to record it. Little blogs to remember who I think I am, or perhaps to get to know myself better.

Throws me back about 10 years ago...an incident I still remember. I cried in the shower, reluctantly went upstairs after ensuring it wasn't obvious I had teared. Friends come, friends go. But there are some friends I know would have been my best-est of friends if I didn't choose to let go. I thank God I still have some really great friends and I treasure them, but I still miss the others who were once important in my life. I think of them, do they think of me?

Its all wrong..completely wrong and I have no right to feel this way. I think I know myself, but actually not very well. Realisation occurs only when it happens, and hmm, I must really get to know myself better. I'm abit surprised by myself, but I know time heals (though never entirely) wounds. I'll try to work it out cheerfully. Don't worry, be happy rite! I have many other blessings to be thankful about.

The above seems incoherent and confusing? Probably, since they come from bits and pieces of my life in random order. But feeling better already, but still dreading to start on my financial computing homework. In my entire life, I have never encountered such a challenging subject...not my cup of tea, I would say. But nonetheless, I'm going to drink it up and hopefully get a decent score for exams next week.

Wish me luck! =)

Life is Such...

5 weeks into the course in Pittsburgh and just 2 weeks left. Other than my earlier blog entry, there hasn't been anything terribly exciting to blog about my life in Pittsburgh.

It has been school work and coding, and more work, with the occasional entertainment from US$5 movies which comes with free but not too yummy butter popcorn. My other form of stress relief comes from the indulgence in desserts. Discovered really nice cheesecake and chocolate cake sold at Southside Works. Also, the "branded" icecream in Singapore is going at warehouse prices in US. Ben & Jerrys sells for US$10 for 3 tubs, and Hagen Daz is a better bargain with 4 tubs going for only US$10. One can literally go ice-cream crazy here. And today, I just found out I eat more than my guyfriends!! I'm feeling so guilty now, but I'm balancing my frequent indulgence with exercise. Its a simple joy to jog in Pittsburgh cos the weather is simply great..there's cool air gushing at you, the surroundings are pretty, and it really does help to have a group of friends who are exercising with you =)

Anyway, what prompted this blog is a short one-line message I received last week. I dread negative news. And such news always set me thinking about life. I want to lead life as meaningfully as I can. I am already set to pick up keyboard after my graduation, I want to spend more time with my family, I want to resume volunteer work..there're so many things I want to do, and I am going to try to accomplish them, hopefully soon.

Just this afternoon, I received confirmation of the terrible news. I'm not particularly close to my aunt, but its just saddening that someone I know has passed on. I didn't even had the chance to bid farewell.

I don't like life that is out of my control. And with age, I only know that more terrible news will come. I don't want to hear about it, but I also can't avoid it. This may seem childish for someone of my age, but if I could wish, I wish time will stand still, and life will always be the way it is now.

I still miss my grandpa very much. He passed on when I was still an ignorant brat in secondary school, and I never had the chance to show him my love. This is one of my greatest regret. I never had a chance to make him proud of me. What would I give up for him to be here with me now.

There is this particular song by Mariah Carey that never fails to bring tears to my eyes. Sighz, life goes on I guess...

===================================================
"Bye Bye"

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

1 week in Pittsburgh

To my family and friends who are wondering how happystella has been in Pittsburgh.

This blog is long overdue. I have a half-completed blog entry on my first week in US during which I toured LA and Las Vegas. Taking into account the painful amount of time it takes to sort, select and upload the travel pictures, I've decided to temporarily skip that 1 week of glorious fun to provide an update to (highly probable) final phase of my study life. At this point, I don't see myself study for the many years to come, although man (and Stella, notwithstanding) can be fickle.

I've just placed aside the computing notes and fully wary that I've only 7 hours to my morning alarm buzzing, I hope to keep this blog short and sweet. But I do miss writing and hope to write endless pages, alas, time waits for no man.

Accomodation:
I'm staying in a clean, nice 2-bedroom apartment. I have received varying levels of service from the apartment staff, though most are generally pleasant.

But prior to my arrival, I had the most unpleasant encounter with Stacy, apparently the manager. 1.5 weeks before my scheduled arrival to Pittsburgh, she had unilaterally cancelled the 3-bedroom booking I made almost 2 months ago, and merely informed me via email. I called the apartment umpteen times, spoke to almost all the counter staff there were, found out that lady who sent me the curt email was on leave and the rest of the staff I spoke to could not help me on this matter, before I finally spoke to her. Talkig to her felt like I was stupidly banging against the wall, to the point that I was at my wit's end and got my hubby (who is generally more logical and calm) to speak to Stacy who probably is acquainted with the real meaning of customer service. All efforts came to no avail.

And despite all the unpleasantries, I still had to stay at this apartment because it was just too late for me to look for alternative accomodation. On the bright side of things, the other counter staff I've met are great and helpful, all with the exception the woman who doesn't bother to even smile at you. I certainly hope she is not the manager. I don't think I'm biased against her. Even my rational hubby thinks her quality of service is really substandard.

So everything at Forbes is great..from the free Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate to the extra study desk in my apartment...except for her whom I don't care much about anyway.

Food:
To all Subway fans back at home, Quizno sandwiches win Subway's handsdown anytime! Competition between both sandwich chains appear tough. Both chains are currently having $5 footlong promotions, and the Quizno ads on TV blatantly mentions that they include more ingredients than Subway! I'm not sure such an advertisement could be aired without lawsuits back at home.

All bread and no rice makes Stella a dull gal. Lucky for my friends and myself, we found a Taiwanese eatery a few streets away that serves pretty decent Chinese food at reasonable prices. The "gu lu yok" is simply delicious and I've a good mind to make it my staple for the coming weeks.

In school, I haven't explored that many eating places, but I think the one I will patronise most often would be the food truck selling Thai food. Ha, looks that the Singaporean me simply can't live without Asian food.

Occasionally, we also have the cooking sessions...only 3 sessions so far, but definitely more anticipated. The general rule is that gals will do the cooking, and the guys the cooking. I'm tempted to ask the guys to cook (more than maggie mee) but I need time for confidence building, hee hee. Oh, by the way, we succeeded in cooking rice using a normal pot! Quite pleased as I thought cooking rice would be a pretty formidable task.

School:
Challenging. I spent 1.5 days writing the code for one question, and would probably take more time if not for my friends. The subjects have more coding than I would like. But I'm trying to look at the bright side of things and hoping this is a good chance to brush up my programming skills. Project work also generally requires more brainwork, hopefully it'll add some mental agility. I'm expecting more work, less play in the upcoming weeks. So in the meantime, trying to put in consistent work, enjoying whilst I can, and just to try my best.

Weather:
Freezing! This morning, it was about 8 degrees Celsius. Lecture hall was pretty chilly and I had to down a cup of hot cocoa to fight off the cold. Lunch time was much worse. I wore 3 layers of clothing, but nonetheless, still shivered on my short walk to buy lunch. Weather is supposed to be sunny tomorrow with a high of 20 degrees, but the low is 7.2 degrees! Brrr...right now its actually a bit cold in my apartment cos the heater doesnt seem to be functioning well. But I'm glad I'm indoors. Every time I leave the guy's apartment (just a few rooms away), I've to run back to my apartment cos the chilly wind. Let's see how I'll manage the cold tomorrow. I really miss Mr Sunshine.

Transportation:
Transportation comes in 2 forms: walking or bus. And patience is tested when waiting for buses. It is not uncommon to wait for over half an hour for the dear bus, and I have learnt not to trust the bus numbers stated at the bus-stops.

But the bus drivers have been generally helpful, and we met a really nice bus-driver on Sunday on our way to Waterworks Mall. We took the wrong bus and was kinda stranded at a bus-stop waiting for our bus. Weather was cold and the wind was blowing furiously. A kind bus-driver who had apparently finished his scheduled drive picked us from the bus-stop and drove us all the way to the Mall! Thank God for such a great driver!

Everything else under the sun:
Caught some exciting scenes the past few days. About a week ago, saw a several police cars speeding by with their sirens blasting out loud. And above us was a helicopter...perfect scene taken out of a movie.

Just this afternoon on my way back to the apartment, my friends and I saw a group of policeman surrounding a man, putting him down on the floor before handcuffing him. It was pretty exciting, and a bit scary cos one wonders why it needs so many trained police officers to handle a man.

Great friends, great company. Having friends around helps to ease the part of me who is missing home, the summer-all-year round weather, my cute little berry, my food, my family, my friends.

For now, I think I'm settling in pretty well in Pittsburgh. Hopefully all continues to go well and I hope to make my stay here as memorable and enjoyable as possible (ex- all the homework and exams, of course!).

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

One of the best American Idol episodes this season. Contestants were supposed to pick songs that inspire them. Best song of the night probably goes to Jason Castro with Somewhere over the rainbow. I love this version...and it reminds me of the same song sung by Katharine MacPhee a few years back. Same lyrics, entirely different arrangments, and I love them both.

In a way, the song brings me back many years ago when I was in Primary One sitting in my school hall watching a ballerina dance performance. The tune the ballerinas were dancing to was "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I fell in love with the song and the dance, and even bought some photos of the performance!

When I was young, it was my dream (and probably the dream of many young girls) to be a ballerina. The grace and beauty associated with the elegant art was just too enticing. I actually took up ballet in my lower primary days, but gave up after realising that I had bones as stiff as chopsticks. I was just no talent at ballet.

It's nice reminiscing those days of dreams. Where you are free to dream big, and look to the future, wondering what it may hold for you. Sadly, now that I am all grown up, practical reality has set in. There's hardly time for dreams and great ambitions. Not that it really matters. If I could turn back time, I would probably have done many things differently. Maybe I would have been more insistent to pick up piano, maybe I would have studied law, maybe I could have salvaged that friendship...there are countless maybes.

But now, I just want to appreciate life. It's difficult to dream big anymore because I am already of the age where I should be working towards the dream. There are still small wishes and hopes...while I don't dare to dream too big, I'll definitely work my "best-est" so that my little wishes and hopes do come true.

Home & Decor, Nature

Home & Decor came by today (or to be exact - yesterday, since it is already past midnight) for a photoshoot of my place. How did it went? An ok experience, I suppose. The people were nice and friendly, but a lot of reorganisation of my home furniture though. For example, I had to remove my husband's chunky PC monitor from the study area, my ames-replica was shifted away from my ideal spot...

The photoshoot took slightly over 3 hours, and boy, my hubby and I had quite a bit of reorganising & packing to do after that. Had to reassemble the PC, connect our speakers, move things back to original place...I'm not complaining by the way, cos even though they didn't offer to help us put the stuff back in place, my husband and I would much prefer to shift things back ourselves.

As homeowners who had saved up for our home, we tend to be more careful with our furniture. For instance, I almost freezed when the photographer just slided my black footstool to one corner...my fear at that moment was that my cement floor might not be able to handle that harsh treatment, but lucky for me, my fears were unfounded. But still, the policy in my home between my hubby and me is that all items are to be lifted and placed down, not dragged across the tough-looking, but unfortunately, sensitive cement flooring.

Anyway, the team showed us the final pictures. The photos were nicely taken, but I felt that it didn't reflect the "feel" of my place. The photos showed nice angles, but failed to capture what we thought were the best spots in my home. Guess the photographer had a different perspective of my place...

I'm obviously not as professional as him, though I do dabble in a teeny bit of "artistic shots" with my non-professional Canon Ixus. Anyway, I was inspired to take some photos of my place to reflect what I think were the missing elements from the photoshoot today.

On a VERY separate note, there was a really lovely sunset viewed from my home about a week ago. These are some pictures I took.

The pretty blend of colours in the sky is definitely an instant perk-me-up to any nasty mood. I think no man-made colours/structure can be as beautiful as that found in nature. And I guess that's the beauty - nature, God's creation, is constantly evolving, surprising us. Man can never duplicate nature 100% - a simple example lies in the fact that most ladies prefer fresh to artifical flowers because the latter just looks, well...fake.

I love travelling because there's so much nature I soak in which I cannot find in the city I call home. Staring at the sea for hours without feeling bored, trekking past the Himalayas and filled with a sense of awe, observing the giraffe patiently chewing off the tree - I miss travelling and can't wait for my Peru holiday in July.

Ok I'm digressing. But I certainly hope to catch another beautiful sunset from home again...and do look out for June's issue of Home & Decor. My place will be featured in it =)

Nightmares with Beglas Home Decor

It has been a really frustrating experience with Beglas Home Decor http://www.besglas.com/home.html. The tagline of the company is "We don't just open the doors to your dreams. We make them". But this company has been creating nightmares for me right from the start.

I have shifted into my new place for slightly over 2 months, but renovation works are (my gosh!) not completed yet - all because of the glass company. Beglas has been to my place at least 5 times and they have to be back here for at least 2 more trips, provided everything goes smoothly.

Glass doors are a key part of my home decor - I am supposed to have 8 pieces of them in my place as toilet and wardrobe doors.The first time they came to install a few of my wardrobe doors, they left black marks on my cement floor, and I couldn't figure out how those marks came about. Also, the company was rushing quite a few jobs at the same time, and could not install all my doors at the same time. This meant I had to clean up each time after they did their partial installations, and this could have been avoidable if they installed the doors all at one go.

The second time they installed the other wardrobe doors, they left 2 huge scratches on my floor. I was pretty unhappy and asked my interior designer to warn them about it, which he did. My interior designer even brought one of the glass representatives to my place to show him the damage his workers had created.

Despite the warnings, when they came for the 3rd time, I finally realised how the black marks were created. They used small sheets of carpet to rest the corner of the glass. But the bottom of these carpets was made of black rubber, which had disintegrated badly. So when they dragged the carpet across my cement floor, they disfigured my floor by leaving a huge black stain. I told them that cement floor was very sensitive and porous, so they had to be careful. But the workers seemed to turn a deaf ear to my words, and used chemicals to clean the floor. When I caught a whiff of what they were doing, I immediately told them to stop cos the cement floor was sensitive and they couldn't just use any cleaning chemicals! So the workers left an indelible mark on the floor. The chemicals soaked right through my floor, removed the layer of e-proxy (floor protection) and left a dusty patch which could not be cleaned away. And the workers didn't even apologise. They merely said that they had never dealt with cement floor before.

Despite all the upsetting events, the company can't seem to improve on its sloppiness. As all the paper pasted on the glass doors were badly done (which the company explained that particular batch of paper used was of poor quality), all the doors had to be removed for them to redo the pasting. But when the glass doors came back, I still noted some problems. Some of the issues were just evident of the sloppiness of the workers - eg. upside-down door knobs, rusty/dented knobs, using 2 separate pieces of rubber edges on the door, not cleaning ink marks thoroughly even after I requested them to help me clean away some marks.

So I asked my interior designer over yesterday, and we marked the problematic spots with masking tape. When the glass workers came over, we left them to do their work. Only later did I realise that they had removed the masking tape without thoroughly rectifying the problematic spots. That was the final straw. I told the workers off right away and was on the verge of screaming my head off. I would have fumed more if not for my interior designer who was around and he told the workers off too, although his tone was a lot better than mine.

But what else could one expect from me. After going through numerous inconveniences from the workers spoiling my floor, chipping my table tiles, and having to clean up my place again and again cos of the dust they leave behind each time they came, I just want a decent job done. Beglas is unable to deliver - both product and service quality are substandard. At the minimum, the workers should have left the masking tape on the problem areas and explained to me what they could do and what they could not.

So when I told them off, they gave a can't-be-bothered reply that they would just bring the glass doors back. And they expected me to check for the problematic spots all over again without the markings I made initially. Yah, how convenient for them.

Anyway, in the end, they brought back 4 of the 8 doors they installed. The glass representative explained they had inserted the hinges before the glue had fully dried, resulting in air bubbles they couldn't remove. So they were going to leave the paper to dry entirely this time round before inserting the hinges, and it would take a longer time. Well, why couldn't they have done this earlier if they were already aware of this problem?

It's no fun having to inspect every corner of the glass doors to spot for problems, and having to tell the workers to remove the doors. I actually feel a little bad at the numerous trips they have made, but the company is really unable to produce decent quality.

I just hope things will move more smoothly now that the glass representative is aware of my unhappiness with the company. They probably think I am a picky customer, and honestly, the more sloppy their workers are, the more unhappy I am and the more demanding I become. I'm not sure whether this applies to others, but somehow when service quality is good, and staff is cooperative and willing to accept their mistakes, I tend to be more accepting. But when they are rude, give excuses time and again, the more I would demand for perfection. The glass doors also don't come cheap - almost a total of $6000. And for such poor quality, I would really advise everyone not to use this glass company.

I have decided to be really firm with the glass company and will be asking them to exchange 2 more of the glass doors cos the marks are not acceptable. Not going to care whether the workers are fed up with me (anyway, I think they already are). All "thanks" to the company, I probably can't organise any housewarming anytime soon. This is so frustrating.

Morton's

I first tasted Morton's steak sandwich during its weekday Martini happy hour, and for someone who is not too fond of red meat, I fell head over heels with the sandwiches. So for the longest time, I've been wanting to sink my teeth into the restaurant's famed beef steaks, as well as its Godiva hot chocolate cake.

The opportunity finally came yesterday in the form of a belated birthday treat for my cousins. My cousins and I have something in common - a love for gooood food. So I figured Morton's was probably a suitable place for us meatlovers to enjoy dinner together.

It was a Sunday evening, and the restaurant was packed, mostly with foreigners though. It felt as though I was dining overseas. There was lively banter all around, and the service staff were generally quite courteous. Except they seemed so busy, we had difficultly getting their attention at times. What I found interesting was that a service staff would come round to introduce the choices of main course. They pushed a cart containing the actual cuts of the raw meat, and even a live lobster!


The food portions were huge, especially E's porterhouse steak. I shared a steak (think mine was a Double Cut Filet Mignon, which according to the service staff, was the leanest & most tender cut) with my hubby, while my cousins each enjoyed a choice cut of their own. Among us, we also shared garlic mash potatoes and spinach with mushrooms. All the dishes were really good. My steak was really tender. It was also a little burnt at the edges which gave a really nice chao-ta smell and taste. The main course had me feeling satisfied, my hubby craving for more beef, E with some remainder of her huge portion, and K really bloated cos he actually managed to finish his steak!

I was looking forward to dessert which comprised of the Godiva chocolate cake and a Grand Marnier souffle. The desserts were not as great as I thought they would be. The cake was a little tough on the outside, but the molten choclate that oozed from the center made up for everything. I found the "egg" taste in the souffle a tad too strong although my hubby thoroughly enjoyed it. In comparison, I think Bakerzin's desserts are better, though my hubby didn't agree on that.

So overall dinner was pretty good. Pricing was on the high end, but you get what you pay for. Definitely worth the splurge. And from the greedy looks on my hubby last evening, I think I'll definitely be back there again =)

My New Camera

Vday present from my hubby this year was a new digi cam!!

My previous Nikon always resulted in blur shots whenever I used the no-flash mode, so it was really frustrating when photos were taken at night. Pictures always turned out overexposed, and there was no way I could capture the nice hue from yellow lights. Now I finally own a Canon Ixus! Goodbye to all previous photo-related problems!

Anyway, I couldn't resist using the camera straight away, and took some pictures of my new home, as well as my sumptuous (& not very healthy) vday dinner. Somehow my place looks better using the new cam..guess its worth paying more for better quality!

Life after Term 5

Exams ended on Sat, back to school for an entire day of projectwork on Sun and school starts today (Mon). No time to rest, still trying to catch up from lost sleep, and just feeling a little blue. And it didn't help that the workers came to my place earlier and ruined my cement floor.

I wish I could have an entire day to relax and take a break. Hopefully I can get a well-deserved break this weekend.

On the bright side, this is my final term in Singapore (finally!). Can't wait for it to be over...

Movie Outing

Exams ended on Saturday afternoon and I finally caught the movie that I've always wanted to watch - Jumper. The movie had pretty good action, but plot was not that great. But something happened at the theatre that evening.

Shortly after the movie started, I heard wierd noises from a boy 3 seats away. He sounded afraid and probably his fear prompted him to start hitting the man (who is probably his dad) sitted beside him. His father tried to restrain him and asked him to calm down, but to no avail. As the boy was making a fair bit of noise, someone went to inform the movie ushers who came and requested them to leave the theatre. What was supposed to be a fun movie outing ended up not too favourably for the father-son pair.

I felt sad at what I saw. The boy was just hitting his dad, who was accepting the hits and trying to restrain him at the same time. The father was probably going through an emotion whirlwind - worrying how they are affecting the movie audience, thinking of ways to calm his son down, and the emotional pain from having to bear the hits from his son. My respect goes to the father who has made the choice to raise and love a son who is very different from others. And as a bystander, I can only hope that the boy's condition will improve overtime.

Imagine - David Archuleta

A beautiful song sung with an equally beautiful voice. A 17 year old boy with the natural (and superb) talent for singing.

In all my years of following American Idol, this is the first time I'm so impressed with a talent like him. I feel like an old aunty going "ga-ga" over a young teenage boy, but no worries, inclinations are not that extreme (yet) =)

CNY: The Fun, the Sweets and the Feast

The usual fun stuff during Chinese New Year - goodies-stuffing, gambling, chit-chatting, playing with the little ones. I do this every year, and I never get bored. Its really great to be able to spend time with my family. Chinese New Year is not only a time to catch up with family members, it also provides a good opportunity for some to introduce their special someones to our family =) And as an added bonus to the festivity and celebration this year, we also celebrated my cousin's 21st birthday!

This was a trigger-happy CNY, and I've so many photos to share! So today's blog shall be one of the occasional ones in which I shall exercise some restraint on the writing and let the photos do all the talking!!

Chu Xi

Lou Hei Part I

Chu Yi
Lou Hei Part II

ABSOLUTELY the BEST Ngoh Niang I've ever tasted, and I'm not exaggerating. Crispy skin fried to perfection and tasty meat fillings. Chestnuts add an extra zest and crunch to every bite.
Cost: Priceless. Made with AhMa's excellent culinary skills and lotsa love.
Availability: Very exclusive. Only family members get to taste it.

Sumptuous dinner feast!

The boys have all grown so tall!

The 3 generations?

My cheeky but ever adorable cousins!

Ah Long movie outing with cousins. This is one of the rare outings, so a group photo was a must!

CHU SAN

Messing around with the children...

My adorable cousin who was so so engrossed with his computer game...

AhMa and the really young ones

AhMa and daughters galore!

Family shot with AhMa

AhMa and her grandchildren

Mmmm, Double Choc Pralines from The Patissier. No regrets after you sink your teeth into the super rich and ultra chocolatey cake with a lovely crunchy base. Never mind the calories and sugar..for self-confessed choc addicts like me, this is a MUST TRY!!

Birthday gal getting a special HUG

First, the birthday gal blows the candles...

Then the other children wanted to join in the fun too!

Happy Birthday E! May all your dreams come true!