A 80 year old lady

I was at Ya Kun on Sunday afternnon. There was this really old lady - all hunched up and going from table to table trying to sell 4D tickets and tissue paper. Most people ignored her and I am usually part of that group - partly because I bought tissue from a little girl many years back and later found out from the papers that she was a con. I think such ingenuine cases do cause people to hold back from giving, because one can no longer discern the people who are in real need from those who are just out to fool kind-hearted souls.

But as that very old lady walked slowly from table to table, for the first time and despite all my reservations about swindlers, I was moved with sympathy. She was so old and she really looked like a genuine case. So I decided to purchase tissue paper from her and when she sat down for a momentary rest, I saw that she looked so tired and yet she had to continue approaching people because this was probably her only source of livelihood.

During my brief conversation with her, I learnt that she was 80 years old and she asked me if I wanted to purchase 4D tickets as well. I declined and she mentioned that she will have to absorb the costs of the 4D tickets if she was unable to sell them.

The old lady then made her way towards Pepper Lunch and was out pretty soon - no business. She went to try her luck at the neighbouring Long Johns Silver - but it seemed she had no luck as well. I felt really sad for her and bought a $2 4D ticket from her for $3.

I asked myself whether I should give her some money, but decided against it.

That brief encounter with the old lady was a reminder to me on my many blessings in life. It made me realise how lucky I am not having to worry about my daily meals. I pick and choose food and sometimes I grumble about the limited food options around my home..when others are struggling not to go hungry.

And I wonder how I can help them.

Many years ago, I had a dream. There was a box that could make any wish of mine come true. My cousin tried it and it worked. And as I held the box gingerly and fearfully, I was just about to make that most important wish in my life..when I work up. Sounds like a scene from a movie but that happened to me alright.

Other than that one wish, there are many wishes I will make - if only genie lamps exist. I'll love to have a photographic memory, talent in music, wisdom - and I realise how self-centred these wishes are. Very often, it is just about me, I, myself - when I am so blessed despite the hiccups in life.

While God has not made me the talent to be a Mensa member or a professional musician, He has given me a pair of hands which can help others. He did not give me what I wished for - simply because those items are not important. But He knows the amount of cheer willing hearts and willing hands can bring.

When we act according to God's will for us, I know there are good things in store. The more you give, the more you receive. And the more you help others, the more you realise how blessed and lucky you are. You begin to see things from a different perspective and life becomes more meaningful simply because we are not living just to please ourselves, but our lives can bring cheer to others.

God-willing, I hope to be that person He wants me to be.

A book called Time's Arrow

Just finished reading a book - Time's Arrow by Martin Amis, which tells the story, backwards, of the life of a Nazi war criminal.

A pretty thin book with only 173 pages, but an intense one by all accounts. The book is interesting because it is written in backward chronology. One cannot just read and gloss over the details like in any other story book. Because the book is written backwards, my brain keeps having to realign the sequence of events so that it makes sense - my brain having been so used to the natural order of things eg. new to worn out, young to old.

This reverse sequence of writing has some interesting elements, including making the bad seem good, and the good seem bad, and everything just seems to clash again the natural human intuition I'm so used to. Here are some excerpts:

"Eating is unattractive too. First I stack the clean plates in the dishwasher...until some fat bastard shows up in his jumpsuit and traumatizes them with his tools. So far so good: then you select a soiled dish, collect some scraps from the garbage, and settle down for a short wait. Various items get gulped up into my mouth, and after skillful massage with tongue and teeth I transfer them to the plate for additional sculpture with knife and fork and a spoon...Next you face the laborious business of cooling, of reassembly, of storage, before the return of these foodstuffs to the Superette, where, admittedly, I am promptly and generously reimbursed for my pains."

"I can't tell - and I need to know - whether Tod is kind. Or how unkind. he takes toys from children,on the street. He does...The toy..will be offered to him by the smiling child. Tod takes it. And backs away...the child's face turns blank..Both toy and smile are gone: he takes both toy and smile. Then he heads for the store, to cash it in. For what? A couple of bucks. Can you believe this guy? He'll take a candy from a baby, if there's fifty cents in it for him."

"Signs say No Littering - but who to? We wouldn't dream of it. Government does that, at night, with trucks; or uniformed men come sadly at morning with their trolleys, dispensing our rubbish, and shit for the dogs."

"'Uncle Pepi' has surpassed himself with his new laboratory...in this new lab of his he can knock together a human being out of the unlikeliest odds and ends. On his desk he had a box full of eyes. It was not uncommon to see him slipping out of his darkroom carrying a head partly wrapped in old newspaper...The next thing you knew...a fifteen-year-old Pole sliding off the table and rubbing his eyes and sauntering back to work..."

By far one of the most interesting books I have read. But doesn't score too high on entertainment value for me as the writing style is pretty serious, and the storyline is generally all grim and grey. I much prefer books with hope and optimism - and naturally, a happy ending.