Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Teething

19 Dec 2010
Hello to J's first tooth! Felt the tip of his first tooth while cleaning his lower gums in the evening. J has been drooling for a long time & I often wondered when he will start teething. I was secretly hoping he'll teeth later cos I've heard about babies biting their mothers, plus J still drinks milk at night. But at least he can go without milk for 5-6 hours at night now, so it's just timing his milk feed, getting him to drink some water, and cleaning his teeth if he sleeps right after his feed.

My hubby thinks that J will no longer be a baby once he has teeth. I was just staring at J as he napped on my bed this morning, and I couldn't help but notice how much taller he has grown. My little boy is growing up alright, but he will always be my little baby, my "small-cute-cute"!

Perspective

16 Dec 2010
Met up with a friend for lunch last week. I haven't seen him for 9 months and boy was he different. He lost 15kg and had a vastly different perspective towards life from 9 months ago.

He attributed his weight loss to his new vegan diet. And he recommended a book - 4 day work week, which changed his perspective about work and motivated him to look for ways to earn money without working. 

I curiously asked him how was that was possible. Given that was pretty good with IT, he had written & sold an iPhone app that was generating him some income - without any ongoing labor!

Just chatting with him set me thinking about my own life. I, like many others, grumble about work, but I work anyway for the income and mental stimulation. And truth be told, life is so much more than just work. I spend at least 1/3 of everyday at work...and even longer when I  include time spent preparing to go to work, overtime, etc.  On an annual basis, this works to at least 25% of my  life. If I were to work from 21-50 years old, that is equivalent to at least 7.5 years of my life. 

Work-life balance has become priority since J entered my life. He is only going to be a baby once, and I definitely don't want to miss his growing years. Which is why J is my top most priority - I don't ever want to regret not spending sufficient time with him. I know my mum regrets it, and I understand how it feels as a child - so I am determined that my baby gets all my time, love, hugs and kisses possible :) I often hear parents lamenting that their babies grow up too fast, and I want to treasure my time with my precious J before he is all grown-up with little time left for his parents. 

So I am thinking hard what exactly I want from life. J is super important, but I am not exactly stay-home mum material. I don't mind working, but I don't want to be a slave to my work. I want to lead a happy and meaningful life, with the freedom and time to do what I want. Yet at the same time, I need some income for sustenance and shopping :) 

I think many of us just live by rote - study, work after graduation and we work hard. Some of us may succeed and make a significant mark, but more often we remain worker ants only to be replaced by younger and higher-energy people. And then we retire, and we find that we don't have much time and energy to enjoy life after that. 

Do I want that? Not really. I thank God that I am starting to see things from a different perspective, and badly need His guidance on what I should do. Don't get me wrong, people should still work - after all, there is no free lunch in this world. But we should live life to the max, be happy always, & not let work overwhelm us. Work is after all just a means to earn our keep...I am not sure how many people will think fondly of their accomplishments at work at their deathbed. It's a bit morbid to think about death, but that is everyone's endpoint and when we think of this unavoidable ending, it helps to bring into perspective what are the really important things to us. 

On my deathbed, I hope I can think about the lives I've touched, the smiles I brought to people around me. I'd wish terribly that I had spent more time with my loved ones & pray that God's abundance of blessings will fill their lives always. That God's love, joy and peace will be with them always, that they will be blessed with excellent health, that they will stay close to Jesus always, and that they will lead a meaningful, happy and fulfilling life. That those who do not know Jesus will believe in Him soon. I hope to be ready and excited that I am going to a better place. Anyway it's great to know that we can indeed live happily ever after when we believe and trust in the Lord! 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

J's Sleep Pattern

7 Dec 2010
After a few weeks, J slept through the night again! Well, kind of though...he went to bed at about 10:30pm last night after much struggling & wailing whenever my in-laws placed him on his cot. He finally slept when they placed him on my bed instead - J sleeps on the bed with us all the time now. The only times he is in the cot are during diaper change and for short periods of playtime. 

So he had solids at 8:30pm, drank milk at 10pm, slept at 10:30pm, got awoken when I tried to trim his nails at 12:30am. But he drifted back to sleep...and to my surprise, slept till 4:50am! So thankful I could sleep for 4 solid hours! 

I pray and wish that J can sleep through the night, cos honestly, the sleep deprivation is really taking a toil on me. I haven't slept well for 8 months, & sleep is sooo important for one's well-being. 

8 Dec 2010
J slept at 10+pm last night again - which was good cos I then had time to sort out my mails. He woke up briefly at 11:30pm and went back to zzz-land after I carried him for a while. 

He woke up again at 2:45am hungry & slept right after his milk feed. Changing diapers when he is in sleep mode is a breeze! Considering his last milk feed was at 9pm & he had solids at 9:45pm - it was almost 6hrs before he drank again - which was really good taking into account J's not-so-impressive track record where night feeds are concerned.

He woke up again at 6am- I latched him even though it was before his 4-hourly feed. I do that cos I am too tired to carry him. Anyway he drank and slept till about 8am. 

So I had 2 bouts of 3-hours uninterrupted sleep last night. I am still eagerly waiting for the days when I can sleep 6-hours straight...

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

All About Little J

18 Nov
I like to stare at him when he is sleeping soundly. My baby has 2 favourite sleeping poses - arms stretched wide open on his back or his thumb partly in his mouth while on his side. The former is my preferred pose, as I can better observe and admire his features, and I also dont have to concern myself with whether his ears are flapped inwards. When asleep, he looks more mature - I can almost guess how he will look like as an adult! His features loses the playful look he has when he is awake. 

I love staring at my baby - I can just sit there and stare, and all I care about is his happiness and well-being - above mine. I think I now understand what selfless love is, and how strong parental love is above all others. And then I realise how much my parents probably care for me, even though they are not perfect parents and I still wish we spent more time together when I was a kid. 

But above all, I take the love that I have for J and multiply it by 100x - that's the minimum width and depth of love God has for me! Simply amazing...that an omnipotent God can love me so deeply even though I have really nothing much to offer. I just pray that my little baby will grow to experience this perfect unchanging love and the immense joy and peace that comes along with it. God bless you richly, my little darling. Mummy loves you very very much, and God loves you so much more! 

22 Nov 
J finally slept 6 hours straight last night - what a relief! 

It started on Sat evening when he slept from about 9am to 245am, after his 830pm feed. On Sun, he slept from about 9-10:45pm after his last milk feed at 5pm and solids at 7pm. And he fell asleep while drinking his milk at 10:45pm! Slept through till 430pm for his next feeding and finally woke up at 8am this morning. 

I hope this continues cos not only is this beneficial for his growth and development, it also allows me to complete my daily tasks much faster. But the other side of me dreads spending less time with him on weekdays if he sleeps earlier. Ha, I always have to worry huh! 

24 Nov
Joshua is officially still not sleeping through the night. He has been waking up a couple of times in the middle of the night, but can't really be helped as he needs his middle-of-the night feed. I think we may need to shorten his feed interval in the day so that he doesn't need to feed at night - but it becomes more troublesome when we are out though. Really need to figure out what is best so that A & I can get a good night rest - God, please help! 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Hiatus

It's been a long time since I've blogged...with my hands full with a simply adorable but demanding baby, and sleeping only 4-5 hours every night...I simply had no energy or time to blog. There are tons of things I'll love to do - sleeping for 12 hrs straight, playing my keyboard, catching a nice movie, reading a nice novel while sipping a cup of hot chocolate, etc. - I'm craving for some peace and quiet, and time alone. But that will have to wait for many years to come. Everything is about J now...he is super active and is literally "non-stop action" unless he is in dreamland. I'm tired but happy, and just grateful that J is healthy and well.

But I've decided to resume blogging -partly to remember, partly to grouse and vent. And I'm blogging on my way to work now - have to maximize use of my time :)

Anyway, I'm just glad my life has resumed a bit of normacy - with occasional lunch gym sessions, and now blogging :) Things will surely get better!

Friday, June 18, 2010

My 1st Visit to Browhaus :(

It's been a long time since I trimmed my brows. Post-pregnancy left me with thick unruly hair, untidy eyebrows, an enlarged bone structure, flabby tummy, and constant sleep deprivation. Sounds bad huh? It's no wonder post-pregnancy blues are not uncommon. I am glad I only had a brief encounter with the blues stage though I am still slightly unhappy with the lack of sleep. But things will get better after I stop breastfeeding...it's just a couple more months to go and hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the luxury of sleep then. And hopefully, my little one will learn to sleep longer through the night soon.

Sacrifices of being a mother, though I must add that the joy of hearing my little one's coos & oohs, and his giggles never fails to bring on a smile. Guess there are good & not-so-good parts to motherhood, but I am determined to eventually reverse each 'ailment' associated with post-pregnancy.

I have since gotten a haircut and managed to squeeze some time for a home pedicure 2 days earlier. Since I have just turned a year older yesterday, thought it'll be nice to spruce up my brows. Decided to try Browhaus at Malacca Street as it is located near my office. I picked the threading cum tweezing service which costs $20. The staff who attended to me was pretty friendly, though the trimming was so-so. After the session, i noticed there were still some fine hair that she didn't remove and have to ask her to pluck those as well - so I felt that she didn't do a thorough job. And she didn't reshape my eyebrows either...just merely followed the original shape.

What I didn't like about this outlet was that they were hardselling stuff to me. First, it was this $45 eyebrow serum which purportedly helped to hasten hair growth in overplucked areas. Then they recommended the brow resurrection which costs a whopping $1200, but the manager could give me a 20% discount if I paid for the service the same day. They got a staff to draw my eyebrows to show me how my brows would look after being resurrected. Honestly, my brows looked nicer but definitely not worth $960 . I wonder whether I can get the same effect from drawing my own brows. And obviously, they tried to sell me the trimming package too. But I was already feeling uncomfortable with their hard-selling, and did not purchase anything eventually.

I stepped out of the shop abit disappointed that an upmarket outlet like Browhaus also resorted to the crude marketing tactic of pressurising customers to make purchases. Would I go back again? Don't think so...i think i get better results and no pressure at a fraction of the price from the eyebrow threading shop at Little India.

Monday, January 25, 2010

More photos of Baby

Baby at 12 weeks - 63mm long



15 weeks


19 weeks

Baby at 22 weeks - 494gm






31 Weeks - Bulkier and Clumsier

Time flies..I can't believe I'm at the end of my 31st week of pregnancy. About 2 more months to go before I'll see Mr Baby J face to face.

Yup, my baby is going to be a boy - my initial instincts told me so, my grandma gave her verdict via her apparently accurate and traditional manner of computation, my gynae literally guaranteed the gender during one of the regular ultrasounds, the nurse doing my 2nd trimester scan confirmed it, and colleagues are also pretty sure from the visual inspection of my "pointed" tummy =)

With me trying to squeeze in as much sleep as I can on weekday nights (though not too successfully) in the past months, and just having jam-packed weekends visiting friends, running errands, baby-shopping, I just didn't have time to blog. Fortunately today is a lazy Monday and I'm on leave, so decided to blog abit.

So exactly how do I feel at 7 months of pregnancy? Here are my random load of emotions and thoughts:

1. I'm heavy - having gained 12kg from my pre-pregnancy days.

2. The weight is making my movements slower and clumsier - from getting out of bed, getting out of the chair, and even walking. I can no longer walk as fast as I used to, but I think I'm still walking at a decent pace.

3. Climbing stairs is making me breathless! Walking on flat ground is still fine, but just climbing up the multi-storey carpark at my place is enough to send me gasping for air. But ironically, I kinda appreciate the short climbs cos feeling slightly breathless actually makes me feel like I've exercised and hence, a teeny weeny bit healthier.

4. I'm still sticking to my 15min of cycling and 15min of treadmill/cross-trainer at the gym, twice a week. This is a lot less than I used to exercise, but well, I guess it's better than not exercising at all.

5. I've not run in a long time. Not that I miss it, but I sometimes wonder how exhausting my 1st post-pregnancy jog will be.

6. I can no longer fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes - the cirumference of my belly is a cool 100cm. At home, I prefer to wear night dresses, cos my home shorts are way too uncomfortable. When dressing to go out, I can forget about my pre-pregnancy denim wear. I have to don maternity tops/bottoms or really baggy pre-pregnancy clothes. Although I can still squeeze into some stretchy pre-pregnancy clothes, I am a bit more selective so as to avoid overstretching them.

7. With 2 heartbeats in me, I'm feeling less cold than I used to. I've not touched my jackets in a long time - just a cardigan or shawl is usually sufficient to keep me comfortable in office.

8. No haircut or any form of hair indulgence since I found out I was pregnant. I'm growing my fringe for convenience during my confinement, and my hair is pretty long - reaching about half the length of my back. I'll probably head for a haircut a couple of weeks before I'm due. In the meantime, I neaten my messy wavy tresses using hairclips.

9. My bone structure has expanded - tremendously. From a pre-pregnancy size S, I reckon between size M and L now =( The most obvious difference comes from the use of bra extenders when wearing my pre-pregnancy undergarments.

10. My hubby and I are almost done with all the baby-shopping. Bought most of the big baby items, with a few miscellaneous items (e.g. more nappies, nappy liners, diapers, more wet wipes, nappy rash cream) to go.

11. I feel a slight ache on the running down the right side of my tummy whenever I'm not sitting in the right posture. Backaches are thankfully a minimum at this point and hopefully stays that way.

12. My right foot has started to swell! Guess this is the start of water retention in 3rd trimester - I just hope my legs/feet wouldn't look too ugly with the passing weeks.



13. My belly button has protuded to its maximum. I was previously pretty apprehensive about the poppingbelly button, and while I'm still not a big fan of it showing underneath my clothes, I'm less oblivious to it than a few months back.

14. My baby's kicks are stronger and more frequent, especially around bedtime. The kicks are sometimes uncomfortable, e.g. when he seems to kick against some organ or near my belly button. Sometimes, my tummy just trembles when baby moves - and I'm getting used to it.

15. I think I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions. My tummy will just harden suddenly for a couple of seconds before relaxing again. It's a little uncomfortable when this happens while I'm walking. I usually have to walk a bit slower when this happens.

16. I still think I'm not catching enough winks. Nowadays, my body clock automatically wakes me up after about 6 hours of sleep, and its abit difficult to fall asleep after that, although I'm still feeling tired. This makes me exhausted especially during weekdays cos I have to get up for work about an hour later - so I lose about 1 hour of sleep, sighz.

17. I managed to indulge in the luxury of sleep over the past 2 days, and reckon that 9 hours of sleep (including the sleepless interval after about 6 hours) is what I need daily. But that means I've to go to bed by 10:15pm every night! Not sure how I'm going to manage that.

18. I currently hit the washroom just once a night - so not that bad. Hopefully stays this way.

19. I'm starting to be more appreciative of the peaceful quiet moments I have a home and the flexibility I have in my daily schedule, wary that things are going to change drastically after 2 months. Now, I can choose to sleep in on weekends, stay up late watching TV, decide to go shopping with no prior planning. In future, I'll probably have work my schedule around my baby, spend more time planning ahead, spend more time home (at least in the 1st year), miss the days I can sleep in - I'll probably be busier having to take care of my little one but believe it will be a different kind of happiness with baby around. Home will never be as quiet, hopefully it will still be as neat as it is now =)

20. The actual delivery process has been a concern for me. I'm still not sure whether I should have epidural, but it will definitely be a back-up option for me. I'm also abit apprehensive about episotomy - sounds scary to be honest. But I'm grateful that God has been with me every stage of my pregnancy and by His grace, it has been a smooth preganancy so far. And I know He will continue to be there with me every step of the way - for the remaining 2 months of my pregnancy, during my delivery, and post-delivery. He will hold my hand and be there, and I am extremely grateful and thankful for His presence in my life.

21. It has been my prayer that my baby will be perfectly healthy and fit. And by God's grace, my baby will be a beautiful, intelligent, healthy baby - created in the exact manner God wants - and he will always be filled with God's love, joy, peace - priceless gifts that can only come from the Creator. I trust in God to continue His good work of moulding and sculpting my little baby in me, and pray that little J will grow up to be a man who loves God and to be someone who will be a blessing to all around him.

Overall, I am definitely larger and heavier. Probably a drastic difference from 7 months ago, but not too shocking because the changes and weight gain came in gradually. It doesn't feel that bad to be bulkier and slower in my movements - I just feel the need to be extra careful. Energy levels are lower than previously, I find it more difficult to wear my pants or soap my feet, and despite my right foot looking pretty ugly with the swell, I'm still grateful for this gift from God =)