Frustration

I'm someone who doesn't like to depend or be indebted to others. So it was really frustruating when something that was out of my control happened and ruined the day for people dear to me. I was helpless and hopeless - the feeling that I hate most. And the most upsetting was that this situation affected others. If it happened to me, I'll try to manage it somehow, but the circumstance was directly inflicted on others. The solution? I prayed. I prayed and tried, prayed and tried..read the bible, prayed and tried, but still the miracle didn't occur.

But I believe in a miracle-generating God. So where is the miracle, I asked. And what do I need to give for a miracle to occur? As I read the bible this morning, I noticed that the reading for the next day was titled "Don't Worry". An extract of the reading is as follows:

It’s easy for us to panic when we face serious concerns...So we pray.

And we get busy.

We start doing everything we can think of to move forward in a positive way.
And we worry.

We know it’s a waste of time.

Yet a lot of us find ourselves in this dilemma—we know we should trust God, but we wonder just what He’s going to do.

That's me, the queen of paranoia. And I can't help but worry cos this situation is going to affect others, not me. And its my fault this happened. If only I did this, if only I did that. If only I really did, the situation could have been avoided. So many "if onlys", but its all too late.

I can only continue to hope for a miracle, and ask God for the faith and hope so that I can trust in Him for a miracle. God, I really need a miracle. What ingredients do I need for the miracle to occur? Honestly, I would rather this situation happened to me than to them. But I must face up to reality and face it the way it is now..hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. Easier said than done.

I wonder whether it was God speaking to me via the abovementioned Quiet Time reading.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,

which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,

will he not much more clothe you,

O you of little faith?

So do not worry...

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well.

I believe in a miracle-generating God. The One who heals the sick and feeds the thousands. The One who listens to all our prayers. And I want to have the faith and hope to believe that a miracle is in sight. How God will respond, I dunno. But I am really hoping for the miracle. Only God knows how I am feeling now. "Come to Me...you who are weary and heavy laden."

Honestly, my heart is heavy, and I wish this nightmare is untrue. And I am trying to avoid toking about it cos pure tok is not going to solve the problem. I can only hope a miracle will come by in God's own way. I want to continue believing. The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. God is in full control of everything...and although I'm not sure why this situation occurred I want to believe that He is a miracle-generating God and this situation is in His hands.

This situation was also a path to self-discovery. It made me realized the reason why I avoid certain people and feel a tinge of discomfort when I see certain people, beneath a front that says everything is alright. You may not understand what I am blogging, but that is the whole intention. This paragraph is only for me to remind me of this part of me I've figured out recently. I just hope that the list will not get longer, and hopefully the list will shorten with time as time heals all painful memories.

A New Beginning

November marks the beginning of married life for 2 of my good friends with their prince charming.
It was great fun getting together with my friends and seeing my sisters so often - especially since my hectic school schedule has left me with minimal social life for the past months. So these few weeks have been really fun and gave me an excuse to slack in my studies, although its time for me to pull up my socks, and get the study engine going!

Lottas of nonsense and unrestricted laughter were shared at the dinner table...not to mention the numerous photos we took with one another (gals are ultimately vain mah).

We girls literally grew up together, and I'm really happy to know that my 2 sisters have each found the ONE who will take care and love them for the rest of their lives. And I would just like to wish both of my dear friends a beautiful, blissful, blessed and God-centered life ahead with their special someone. N I hope that our friendship and bonding will stay strong always too!




PS: The first photo in this blog is my artistic attempt to capture the bridal car decoration done by my fren's sister. The car decoration was so beautiful and unique I just had to include the pic in the blog.

Hen's Nite - Loo Loo and See See

I think it gets worse with age and experience =)

2 of my good friends are getting married over the next 2 weeks, and we had our hen's night celebrations just over the weekend.

Celebrations started with the routine checking-in into a hotel suite (this time round at Marina Mandarin), and a sumptuous treat at Spaghetties by the 2 lovely brides-to-be.

Then back to hotel for briefing and a trial dress-up in our dresses to figure out how we would all look on their BiG day(s).

Finally, it was time for the highlight of the evening's programme!

Here are the 2 brides before their transformation..

Scissors and stones to determine who has priority in choosing their accessories...

Presenting..Loo Loo and See See!
The obvious gameplan was to head to a busy area to showcase our 2 ladies, and we decided Clarke Quay would be a suitable location.

The challenge for our 2 head-turning ladies was to approach guys from different races to pose for pictures. Not too difficult for the pretty ladies...

Challenge completed !

Hotel sweet hotel..zzz

It's always great to loosen up and be crazy once in a while...thanks to Loo and See for being sporting and fun! For now, I'm looking forward to their BIG day(s) when they will walk down the aisle with their chosen prince charming(s). An advanced welcome to the club, sisters!

Exams and Miracles

I'm usually in sleep mode this time of the night. But still feeling really bloated from the late supper I had with classmates earlier, so right now I'm fighting the sleep monster in a bid to avoid those extra calories that are reputed to load on when one sleeps with a full stomach.

But boy am I so relieved!!! Term 2 exams are just over...well class officially starts again this Sat, but I'm just glad there are 2 days for me to just relax, rot, daydream and in short, to do anything and everything except study!!

2 days of break seems like my school is a scrooge when it comes to school holidays, but at least this is way way better compared to mini-term 1 where we were back in the school lab in less than 12 hours after our last paper so as to complete a school project.

In any case, I'm just happy. Finally I don't have to go bed with numbers and formulas floating in my head...which has been the case for the past few days.

I've had the rest of my week all planned out. I'm finally going for a haircut tomorrow (after dunno how many months), a massage on Friday, and there's a hen's party on Sat evening! Really miss my galfrens and can't wait to spend the night out with them...and Ruth will be back from Australia too, so I'm just looking forward to Saturday....hmm (wrenching my fists) its my turn to get back at the brides-to-be..hmmz *evil laughter*

It has been a trying and pretty stressful week, as it always will be when exams are around the corner. But I must thank God for being with me, and MANY THANKS AND MUACKS to the dear friends who kept me in their prayers.

I've been feeling abit heaty for the past week, and one of the obvious signs is a super dry throat when I wake up in the mornings. But on Tuesday morning, I woke up with a nagging headache , and was pretty worried when the headache refused to ease (my first exam is that same evening), and I was apprehensive about consuming painkillers as I'm pretty prone to their drowsy effects. So prior to leaving home, I went on my knees to pray for healing and then left for school not thinking much about it. I didn't notice, but my headache was miraculously healed. It was only when I went to bed that evening that I recalled how I had a headache in the day, and how I didn't feel the ache one bit after my prayer.

And just this morning, I've had some minor stomach upsets and was feeling abit uncomfortable the entire day. Worried...I prayed again. Although it didn't clear immediately, my condition became better as the day progressed, and I was completely well before I left for school for my exam.

Some of you reading this blog may take the view that the above are just pure coincidences. Perhaps. But perhaps not cos these are not the only times they have happened. I recall how during my undergraduate days, there was once when my stomach was sending me to the toilet every few minutes up to just an hour before my paper. Even though I wasn't an enthusiastic Christian then, I was so desperate and coming to my wits end that my final solution was to pray, and the problem just went away, and affected me no bit during the exams. Similar situation was also encountered just before my GMAT test.

And I believe that the many times God stretched His healing hand on me cannot be pure coincidences. It takes faith to believe and claim these are miracles, and honestly, I never dared to recognise these as miracles, preferring to chuck them in the corner of coincidences - where they will be forgotten with time.

But yesterday's Quiet Time's reading gave me a different insight. The passage was about how Jesus fed the 5000 and walked on water. If we claim to believe in the bible and the miracles that Jesus did in past, shouldn't we also believe that such miracles can exist today and in our lives? Its just an amazing revelation that miracles can actually occur in my life, a life filled with imperfections and flaws. And I want to pen this down, so that I can remember God's goodness in my life. When I sit down to think about the blessings in my life, there are really plenty..although my life has its downs, I still have many many things, friends and family to be thankful for.

The many blessings, and the fact that we can be worthy to be called His children and to receive miracles in our lives is really a privilege and honour. And I really really hope that all around me can choose to take up this privilege.