A week after the arrival of my maid, the saga continues.
It was Sat morning. I spotted ants crawling in the top drawer of my kitchen cabinet and upon closer scrutiny, there were even more ants in the drawer below. When I opened the drawer, there were ants congregating around a brown spot on the lid of my nutella jar. Neither my hubby nor myself had recently eaten nutella and my in-laws do not consume nutella. So the culprit needs no guessing.
My maid had obviously helped herself to the spread even though I had told her that she can only eat specific foodstuff on her first day of work. And she did not even bother to wipe her traces clean. Thanks to her carelessness, an army of ants now attest to her theft and blatant disregard for my instructions.
My immediate reaction was one of fury, and I gave her a piece of my mind. She gave me the same reason - she forgot. Even if she really forgot, she should have the common sense to know that not all foodstuff in her employer's home are for her consumption. And she even had the cheek to tell me that she had wiped the drawer and its contents the day before when she noticed the ants.
I don't enjoy reprimanding my maid as it stresses me out. As it is, I woke up the next day with a gnawing headache (again) and cut my fingers twice - which is very unlike me. At the rate I am going, I will suffer from a panic attack or sever my hand in the next month. That's when I decided I have to look at things differently. There is really no point stressing myself out over a maid, no matter how much she infuriates me.
So I will treat her as a test of my patience and keep my cool as much as possible. I hope I can hang on long enough while we are living under the same roof. But I really can't wait to get her out of my home. In the meantime, I recognise I need a maid at home so a lousy one is better than none. Shortly after I made my decision, I discovered food residue (what's new) on the colander. So I decided to just rinse it away instead of telling her off.
From my observations, she seems to be someone who pampers herself. From the nutella incident, her preference for hot showers (my previous maid showered with unheated water), her choice of imitation LV bag and purse, and the pair of sequined jeans she wore when I first met her, she is probably someone who enjoys the finer things in life. It's just too bad she does not possess the right working attitude that will give her family and herself a better life.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Domestic Worker
21 Jun 11
I now truly understand what it means to make one's blood boil. Three days after the arrival of my new maid, I have a splitting headache and I can't wait to get her out of my home.
It didn't start off well. Her bio-data claimed she worked two years with a Singaporean employer. When she arrived, we found out she had four previous employers, and the maximum tenor she worked for was only 15 months. According to her, this is her employment history:
- 1st employer: she requested for a transfer after a month because she could not handle taking care of babies
- 2nd employer: her employer terminated her after two months because an elderly lady under her care fell down
- 3rd employer: she requested for a transfer after 15 months because her employer often had people over to play mahjong and she could not sleep well as they would play mahjong in her room
- 4th employer: her employer forgot to renew her passport. She worked for the last employer for 10 months.
Very soon, she'll have one more to add to her list and if she is honest about it, her employer terminated her because she is extremely forgetful and incompetent.
From day 1, she never failed to leave some food residue or dish washing detergent on my baby's bottles or cutlery everyday. This is despite my repeated emphasis to her that baby's items must be washed and rinsed very thoroughly.
And whenever I emphasized a particular way of doing something, she always gets it wrong. From how I want my laundry to be hanged, differentiation of chopping boards for slicing raw meat & veg vs fruits, to ironing clothes - she always forgets, doesn't asks, and obviously gets it wrong.
I have given her a chance despite her blatant lie about her employment history - but she failed to prove herself. Her perpetual excuse is her poor memory. Even if I tolerated that, her tardiness in washing my baby's bottles is inexcusable. And did I mention that she even requested to rest earlier when I told her her bedtime was 11pm-7am.
I would not have hired her if I knew of her spotty employment history, and I don't think any other employer would either. Further, I am paying her $500 as an experienced maid when she behaves like a completely new one.
Something has to be done about falsification of records by domestic workers in order to get a job. While I sympathise with their plight, I cannot condone their dishonesty.
I now truly understand what it means to make one's blood boil. Three days after the arrival of my new maid, I have a splitting headache and I can't wait to get her out of my home.
It didn't start off well. Her bio-data claimed she worked two years with a Singaporean employer. When she arrived, we found out she had four previous employers, and the maximum tenor she worked for was only 15 months. According to her, this is her employment history:
- 1st employer: she requested for a transfer after a month because she could not handle taking care of babies
- 2nd employer: her employer terminated her after two months because an elderly lady under her care fell down
- 3rd employer: she requested for a transfer after 15 months because her employer often had people over to play mahjong and she could not sleep well as they would play mahjong in her room
- 4th employer: her employer forgot to renew her passport. She worked for the last employer for 10 months.
Very soon, she'll have one more to add to her list and if she is honest about it, her employer terminated her because she is extremely forgetful and incompetent.
From day 1, she never failed to leave some food residue or dish washing detergent on my baby's bottles or cutlery everyday. This is despite my repeated emphasis to her that baby's items must be washed and rinsed very thoroughly.
And whenever I emphasized a particular way of doing something, she always gets it wrong. From how I want my laundry to be hanged, differentiation of chopping boards for slicing raw meat & veg vs fruits, to ironing clothes - she always forgets, doesn't asks, and obviously gets it wrong.
I have given her a chance despite her blatant lie about her employment history - but she failed to prove herself. Her perpetual excuse is her poor memory. Even if I tolerated that, her tardiness in washing my baby's bottles is inexcusable. And did I mention that she even requested to rest earlier when I told her her bedtime was 11pm-7am.
I would not have hired her if I knew of her spotty employment history, and I don't think any other employer would either. Further, I am paying her $500 as an experienced maid when she behaves like a completely new one.
Something has to be done about falsification of records by domestic workers in order to get a job. While I sympathise with their plight, I cannot condone their dishonesty.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Bday Thots
I am a year older today. It feels like any other day though - I even went to work today (this was a big no-no in the past).
Somehow as I grow older, I tend to want to forget how old I am. I wish I can stay in my 20s forever - with all that hyped up energy and carefreeness. With age, there is a greater sense of responsibility and I start keeping count of my accomplishments in life (which is not much, except for my super adorable son & my wise choice in picking a great hubby - if these are considered accomplishments).
I used to have lofty dreams of scaling the corporate ladder - my success measured in terms of an impressive job title and an equally matched pay packet. I have since toned down my corporate dreams - I'll still try my best, but above all, I hope to achieve a good balance among my many priorities in life.
Any regrets? Yup. The key one is having two great friends walk out of my life. But this made me realised all relationships - even friendships that have spanned over twenty years - are fragile, and should be cherished dearly. I think of them often, miss them terribly, and I am reminded to treasure my other great gal friends God had blessed me with.
Truly, friends are a blessing from God. They fill a void that family can't. Certain things that cannot be shared with family can somehow be shared with great gal friends. So to all my great gal friends (you know who you are), thanks for everything and like I always say - it's all thanks to you gals that I don't fear growing old, cos we're all growing old together! :)
Somehow as I grow older, I tend to want to forget how old I am. I wish I can stay in my 20s forever - with all that hyped up energy and carefreeness. With age, there is a greater sense of responsibility and I start keeping count of my accomplishments in life (which is not much, except for my super adorable son & my wise choice in picking a great hubby - if these are considered accomplishments).
I used to have lofty dreams of scaling the corporate ladder - my success measured in terms of an impressive job title and an equally matched pay packet. I have since toned down my corporate dreams - I'll still try my best, but above all, I hope to achieve a good balance among my many priorities in life.
Any regrets? Yup. The key one is having two great friends walk out of my life. But this made me realised all relationships - even friendships that have spanned over twenty years - are fragile, and should be cherished dearly. I think of them often, miss them terribly, and I am reminded to treasure my other great gal friends God had blessed me with.
Truly, friends are a blessing from God. They fill a void that family can't. Certain things that cannot be shared with family can somehow be shared with great gal friends. So to all my great gal friends (you know who you are), thanks for everything and like I always say - it's all thanks to you gals that I don't fear growing old, cos we're all growing old together! :)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Dying without NOK
Read the following on ST blog today. A 70+ old man, who still has to work to make ends meet, dies alone, and his son didn't even want to see him for the last time. Sounds like a plot extracted from a soppy Korean drama series - but this is cold hard reality in Singapore. On this sunny island, the gloomy reality is that six old folks depart from this world without their NOK every month.
This is an apt reminder that I should count my
many blessings. Despite our daily grouses, if we could just stop and compare, we'd realise we are so much luckier than the many unfortunate people around us. So I'll try not to compare myself against the guy who owns that cool Porsche in my office building, and count myself blessed that my family can count on our practical Nissan to ferry us around.
"If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"
Max Ehrmann
===========
Dying without NOK
Guest blogger Alicia Tan, a senior medical social worker at Singapore General Hospital, talks about her patients – elderly Singaporeans who die without next-of-kin to claim their bodies.
Blogs | Thursday, June 02 2011
I ENCOUNTERED a case just a few days ago.
The ambulance had picked up a man in his 70s by the roadside at Jalan Bukit Merah. He was suffering from bleeding in the brain and was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit when he arrived at the Singapore General Hospital.
As he was unconscious, there was no way for us to find out any information from him.
He had nothing on him – no identity card, wallet or handphone. All he had by his side when he was picked up were two packets of food.
Since he was found at Jalan Bukit Merah where there are lots of rented flats, my first thought was that he had gone out to pack food for his wife, who could be bedridden at home. I was worried about the old man’s wife. I also wondered if he had children and if they knew he was missing.
Every month, about six elderly Singaporeans die without next-of-kin (NOK) to claim their bodies. (See report here.)
Here at the Medical Social Workers (MSW) department where I work, it is our responsibility to establish patients' identities and trace their NOK with the help of the police.
If no NOK can be found to claim the body, we would source for a charitable undertaker for the body to be cremated according to religious rites.
With no information on the name and address of the old man picked up at Bukit Merah, we were unable to call his neighbouring social services centres or voluntary welfare organisations, conduct a home visit, or go around the area to ask if anyone knew him.
While discussing what we could do, the nurses informed us that his blood pressure had dipped and he could pass on anytime.
We immediately called the police to request for finger-printing to establish his identity, and shared our concerns and fears that he could have been packing food for his wife when he was found unconscious.
Fortunately, the police managed to contact his brother, who in turn managed to persuade the patient’s son, who he has not seen in 20 years, to come and see the patient for the last time.
The old man passed on shortly after his son arrived.
We found out the old man stayed alone in a rented flat and worked as a hawker assistant at the neighbouring coffeeshop. He had just finished work that day and packed all the leftover food into a tingkat and two lunch boxes, before making his way home.
It was supposed to be his dinner, a dinner he never had.
I don’t watch “emo”, teary dramas on TV as I’m already dealing with too many emotions every day at work. I find it difficult to bring the emotions home and watch something that will remind me of all the patients and their problems. There is just too much emotional burden to bear.
My job has taught me that life is too short to keep looking back. You can only move forward and live each day like there is no tomorrow. To be able to help others is also a blessing.
Alicia Tan is a Senior Medical Social Worker with Singapore General Hospital (SGH) and a registered social worker with the Singapore Association of Social Workers. She manages Carelink, SGH's one-stop referral centre providing discharge planning for patients and their caregivers, and also works with survivors of elder abuse and domestic violence.
Alicia Tan
Guest Blogger
This is an apt reminder that I should count my
many blessings. Despite our daily grouses, if we could just stop and compare, we'd realise we are so much luckier than the many unfortunate people around us. So I'll try not to compare myself against the guy who owns that cool Porsche in my office building, and count myself blessed that my family can count on our practical Nissan to ferry us around.
"If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"
Max Ehrmann
===========
Dying without NOK
Guest blogger Alicia Tan, a senior medical social worker at Singapore General Hospital, talks about her patients – elderly Singaporeans who die without next-of-kin to claim their bodies.
Blogs | Thursday, June 02 2011
I ENCOUNTERED a case just a few days ago.
The ambulance had picked up a man in his 70s by the roadside at Jalan Bukit Merah. He was suffering from bleeding in the brain and was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit when he arrived at the Singapore General Hospital.
As he was unconscious, there was no way for us to find out any information from him.
He had nothing on him – no identity card, wallet or handphone. All he had by his side when he was picked up were two packets of food.
Since he was found at Jalan Bukit Merah where there are lots of rented flats, my first thought was that he had gone out to pack food for his wife, who could be bedridden at home. I was worried about the old man’s wife. I also wondered if he had children and if they knew he was missing.
Every month, about six elderly Singaporeans die without next-of-kin (NOK) to claim their bodies. (See report here.)
Here at the Medical Social Workers (MSW) department where I work, it is our responsibility to establish patients' identities and trace their NOK with the help of the police.
If no NOK can be found to claim the body, we would source for a charitable undertaker for the body to be cremated according to religious rites.
With no information on the name and address of the old man picked up at Bukit Merah, we were unable to call his neighbouring social services centres or voluntary welfare organisations, conduct a home visit, or go around the area to ask if anyone knew him.
While discussing what we could do, the nurses informed us that his blood pressure had dipped and he could pass on anytime.
We immediately called the police to request for finger-printing to establish his identity, and shared our concerns and fears that he could have been packing food for his wife when he was found unconscious.
Fortunately, the police managed to contact his brother, who in turn managed to persuade the patient’s son, who he has not seen in 20 years, to come and see the patient for the last time.
The old man passed on shortly after his son arrived.
We found out the old man stayed alone in a rented flat and worked as a hawker assistant at the neighbouring coffeeshop. He had just finished work that day and packed all the leftover food into a tingkat and two lunch boxes, before making his way home.
It was supposed to be his dinner, a dinner he never had.
I don’t watch “emo”, teary dramas on TV as I’m already dealing with too many emotions every day at work. I find it difficult to bring the emotions home and watch something that will remind me of all the patients and their problems. There is just too much emotional burden to bear.
My job has taught me that life is too short to keep looking back. You can only move forward and live each day like there is no tomorrow. To be able to help others is also a blessing.
Alicia Tan is a Senior Medical Social Worker with Singapore General Hospital (SGH) and a registered social worker with the Singapore Association of Social Workers. She manages Carelink, SGH's one-stop referral centre providing discharge planning for patients and their caregivers, and also works with survivors of elder abuse and domestic violence.
Alicia Tan
Guest Blogger
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Unpredictability
If you were to use one word to describe life, what would it be? Mine would be - unpredictable.
We never know what would happen to us the next moment, until we live that moment. Comparing myself against the guy who zoomed past in his cool Ferrari this afternoon, this is one thing we have in common. I wonder how many Ferraris he would be willing to trade for the knowledge and control of his future. Unfortunately, no number of Ferraris would allow anyone to foresee or dictate one's future.
I am feeling a little forlorn because I received news about the demise of an acquaintance today. I don't know him well, but my hubby used to mentioned about him so it feels as if I know him somehow. It was a sudden departure - apparently a freak fall - and what is saddening is that he leaves behind his wife and 3 young children. I can't imagine the overwhelming devastation his wife, and in particular, the three young hearts have to bear. It is almost cruel to let little children lose their doting father and to grow up with the grief that their father will never be there to witness their achievement of the important milestones in life. No more hugs or kisses, just memories and photos to cling on to.
And life is like that. One moment our heart is beating, and the next moment, it stops. It can happen to anyone, whether one drives a Ferrari or not. This makes me wonder what is really the point of working long tortuous hours and worrying over the little things in life. Life is better spent living life to the max and being happy all the time.
And I will try - to live life as happily as possible, with minimal room for regrets. To spend as much time with my loved ones as possible. And I now see (for the umpteenth time actually) that some things in life matter more than others, and my life needs some reprioritisation. God willing, I will get out of my state of inertia and lead a life filled with colours and meaning instead of trodding on along that dusty route I am so used to.
We never know what would happen to us the next moment, until we live that moment. Comparing myself against the guy who zoomed past in his cool Ferrari this afternoon, this is one thing we have in common. I wonder how many Ferraris he would be willing to trade for the knowledge and control of his future. Unfortunately, no number of Ferraris would allow anyone to foresee or dictate one's future.
I am feeling a little forlorn because I received news about the demise of an acquaintance today. I don't know him well, but my hubby used to mentioned about him so it feels as if I know him somehow. It was a sudden departure - apparently a freak fall - and what is saddening is that he leaves behind his wife and 3 young children. I can't imagine the overwhelming devastation his wife, and in particular, the three young hearts have to bear. It is almost cruel to let little children lose their doting father and to grow up with the grief that their father will never be there to witness their achievement of the important milestones in life. No more hugs or kisses, just memories and photos to cling on to.
And life is like that. One moment our heart is beating, and the next moment, it stops. It can happen to anyone, whether one drives a Ferrari or not. This makes me wonder what is really the point of working long tortuous hours and worrying over the little things in life. Life is better spent living life to the max and being happy all the time.
And I will try - to live life as happily as possible, with minimal room for regrets. To spend as much time with my loved ones as possible. And I now see (for the umpteenth time actually) that some things in life matter more than others, and my life needs some reprioritisation. God willing, I will get out of my state of inertia and lead a life filled with colours and meaning instead of trodding on along that dusty route I am so used to.
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