God's Gift - 6th week

Babies are God's gifts. Some parents may disagree, especially in the midst of their baby wailing away and exhaustion from lack of sleep.

But I believe babies are God's gifts. A human life forming in the mother's womb - God sees to every detail of the baby's development.

I was always afraid of pregnancy - the weight gain and the labour pain, especially. And my sole reason for wanting children was purely for company during my older years.

But in the past year, my perception has changed somewhat. As I see my friends having children, I begin to realise the joy and purpose babies can bring to their parents. And I realised it may be not that easy to even conceive. And when I had the opportunity to hold a baby in my arms, I realised at that moment that I had the capacity to love a baby who was my own. So in my heart, I knew God was preparing me for a different lifestyle that will mean putting another life above my own. And I knew, that in His own perfect timing, God will bestow me with the gift of a little life that I will have to nurture and care for.

So a first pregnancy kit test on 13 Jul 09 showed negative results (actually there was a faint 2nd line, implying a possibly positive result - but I missed that out). But in my heart, I felt that the results were wrong. A visit to the GP on 16 Jul 09 confirmed I had minor gastritis, and the GP said I couldn't be pregnant despite my burping and feelings of nauseousness. I took one dosage of the medicine the GP gave me and stopped - because I was still unconvinced. My instincts were telling me otherwise, so I just wanted to play it safe.

Then on 23 Jul 09, I decided to try another pregnancy kit in order to allay my concerns. As I saw the 2 lines developing (positive results), I was stunned. My instincts had told me I was pregnant, but still I could not believe it. The initial shock lasted for a couple of minutes before a bit of ecstasy took over. There goes my Mt Kinabalu hiking trip during National Day, but hey, a life is forming within me! I then paid a visit to the GP (a different one of course), who confirmed the positive results.

And then today, my first visit to the gynae. I am officially about 6 weeks pregnant, and my little baby is just 0.46cm. And I could see the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound machine - it was amazing! A little heart thumping away in me. This marks the start of a new journey for me. I don't know how the next 9 months will unfold - but I trust God to take care of my baby and I pray that my baby will grow and develop healthily. I will do my part to the best of my ability (eating well, trying to get lotsa rest where possible, and cutting down my exercises to walks).

I have never said this, but I have learnt that God has given me a gift - the gift of responsibility. It probably sounds a bit odd when the bible quotes about other gifts e.g. healing, prophesy, miracles, etc.. My gift is responsibility. I tend to naturally want to do everything to the best of my ability because I know I have the responsibility to perform every task well. And I am now given the responsibility to keep myself in the pink of health for my baby's sake, and in the future, I will be responsible for nurturing my little boy/girl into someone who fears and loves God.

God has His in own ways, matured and changed me so that I am willing to accept the responsibility and the gift He has bestowed me with. Indeed, He makes all things beautiful in His own time.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Weekend of 18 Jul

A pretty busy weekend.

SATURDAY: Attended a delectable and sumptuous wedding champagne lunch buffet at Mezza9. One of the best wedding meals I've ever tasted. Ambience was livened up by a team of 3 musicians who went crooning table by table. Didn't bring a proper camera, so this is the best that my hubby's Nokia E33 could come up with:




After the feast, we treated ourselves to a free spa at Aramsa - won it from the local Woman's Weekly magazine. I loved the natural cum Balinese setting of the spa, but it was a pity that the actual massage was so-so. So I guess I won't be back there again. But I'm not complaining cos the spa was free!

SUNDAY:
Attended one-month birthday celebration for S&G's adorable little J - who is an exact replica of his dad. Btw, this is my first attempt carrying a newborn - I literally just sat there frozen, because I didn't know what else to do!



Holding the little one in my hand just made me think how precious, how dear this little one is. And I can just fathom how much more precious and beautiful he is to God who created him in his mother's womb. My best wishes to little J - may you grow up to be someone as wise and as God-fearing as the biblical character you are named after.

Random Thoughts

I have been too busy to blog. But on account of a dear friend who says she has been perpetually seeing my 80-year old lady blog on the top of my blog page, here is a new entry =)

In the past months of absence from this blog, certain events have happened which caused me to have the following thoughts:

1. Death of Michael Jackson
I deem him to be a music icon, someone who will go down in history and be remembered for his musical establishments as much as Elvis. But he will also not be forgotten for the many dark rumours surrounding his life, be it his unnatural inclination towards children, his numerous plastic surgeries, etc.

The first thought that flashed in my head when I saw the news on TV was: Oh man, he was rich but was he every happy? He did so many things to try to be happy, but was he really ever happy?

Then subsequent thoughts were: Life is short, treasure it. Work may ****, but that's not all of life. In summary, live life to the fullest everyday (if possible)..if not, maybe at least a couple of hours each day.

2. Death of a 5 year old boy
The boy is a colleague's friend's son, so I don't even know the direct kins of the little boy who has passed on.

But it is always saddening to hear of someone's bereavement, especially when he/she is only a young child. The child will definitely be greatly missed by his parents, and many years down the road, they will probably always wonder how their child will be like, what career he will choose if he were still alive. And sadly, this is a pain and loss that no time can heal.

My thoughts? Life is so unpredictable. I don't even know how long I will live. So I should really treasure my loved ones.

3. The Significance A Good Boss Makes To One's Worklife
I am a people person, and good work relationships are important to me. Having a good boss is great because you get to learn from him, be it technically, the way he thinks, and even the way he interacts with people. But if you get a lousy boss, you will start dragging your feet to work everyday.

But the bright side of having a bad boss is that you will dislike his behaviour to the extent that you will have them ingrained in your head such that it becomes unlikely that you will ever exhibit that behaviour because you realise that you do not want to be a pest to your future subordinates. In short, you learn what you should not be.

4. Life is Quite Hard
Pimples can just surface overnight, but they take weeks to disappear.

Frustrating because this is exactly what is happening to me. Age has a part to play too, the pimples are not receding fast enough. I stare in the mirror every morning and evening, and wonder when will I regain my previous pimple-free complexion. I am even contemplating of laying hands on my face and praying about it - but that will be a last resort.

I am still trying to figure out the cause of the sudden outburst of red. Sleeping too late? Too much stress from work? Exercising too much? Age? Using the wrong facial products?

But more than wanting to find out the cause, I am hoping that my body will cease this uncontrollable surge of youth spots. With age, I am supposed to get less pimples, so this random outburst is just a one-time off and it will recede into dormancy forever.