Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I used to believe that as long as one puts in the effort, one will likely succeed. Even if success does not come along one's way, at least one knows one has put in one's best and should move on with no regrets.

By God's grace, things have turned slightly more positive, and it seems the light is just round the corner. After having hit many deadends, I think the struggle through the tunnel is coming to an end soon.

But it is not the result I had hoped for. I have fought hard, used my ammunition, tried knocking hard, but doors are not opening.

I will be treading a route that I had resisted. But my acceptance lies in my belief that God is in control. I am grateful that He has sent an angel to assist me. I have nothing to offer except nonsense, and still the angel helps me. And I really really appreciate it. I wondered if he was a Christian and yes, he is a kind-hearted soul who is also a brother-in-Christ. May God bless him richly, I have never felt so indebted to someone who went out of his way to help me and I actually feel bad about it. People who know me are aware that I never like to ask people for assistance if I could help it...I'd much rather solve it myself than to impose myself on others. But he has helped me without me asking, and I can only pray that God will bless him so abundantly and richly.

God knows what is best for me. I know that while I may resist and be unhappy with the decision, when I look back in future, I know all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

Job Interview

I have never felt so belittled from a job interview.

After the interview, I thought to myself how could people be so mean. After having gone through an interview that was distastefuly conducted, with interviewers interrupting me several times even before I could finish my explanations, I knew that I will not want to work with this group of people. And I am reminded that if I am ever an interviewer, I will never be so mean.

I can't really put my finger on how mean the interviewers were. Other than not exercising the courtesy to wait for me to finish my answer, the questions/comments were plain rude:

"Why are you asking this question? Wasn't HR supposed to tell you that before you applied for the job?"
"Were you a high flyer in your previous job?"
"You are wrong."
"Oh, if you are equally interested in both departments, then you are going to the other department, not this department."

I am just looking for a job, and I understand that they are out to find the most suitable candidate. But interviewing a candidate doesn't mean that you have to belittle the candidate. I hated the interview.

Now I am in a dilemma. Given my current job options, I thought this is the job I would gladly have taken up. But I probably botched the interview, not that I want it anyway. To work under people who seem to think so highly of themselves is not my cup of tea.

Even if they are really intelligent and smart, humility is one word they have to learn. And they have to remember that what counts are the treasures we build in heaven, not the number of candidates they belittled.

My key concern is that the same HR lady was present at both interviews, so while I performed decently with the other department, she would have seen how badly mauled I was at this other interview.

Given the 2 job options, this was the job option that would allow me to lead a more stable life. The other job just requires too much travelling.

I don't know why God allowed today's incident to happen. But I am just praying that He will guide me. He knows what type of job I want to do and thankfully, He is allowing me to have a taste of it. But it is just a temporary assignment which I have to leave soon..to face up to reality to try a job that I may not be interested in, but practical enough not to reject because I know that I need to start work, earn my keep so that I can start planning for other aspects of my life.

God's ways always prevail, but just when I feel that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I find myself gropping in the dark again. I trust that God will guide, but I can't help feeling upset at how circumstances have turned against me unexpectedly.