Blue

Feeling a little blue...have been frantically checking my gmail for the past few days waiting for a reply...sighz....reply finally came. I got rejected.

I guess disappointment is inevitable. But now I'm stuck with only one choice....should I continue with this choice or not? I wake up every morning asking myself whether I should continue. I hate the fact that it takes up more than 12 hours of my life everyday, that its schedule clashes with my good friends' weddings in Nov, that I cannot do the things that I wanna do.

I do my Quiet Time every morning now...and I always pray for God's strength, wisdom and peace to be with me as I go through the day. I know my life is not tough..in fact I'm very blessed by God. But I'm just unhappy with the hectic lifestyle I'm going through now, and am ever wondering what is the next best step to take. Deep in my heart, I felt that the reply I had been waiting for would be the option out..but I guess I felt wrongly. I wonder why....have gone a big round on this...I had given up hope, but then hope came back to me, and now its taken away from me again. What is the point of giving me a glimpse of hope if the positive answer would never come? Why do I have to face issues the roundabout way?

But well, much as I'm tired and disappointed, and actually having my self-esteem cut by quite a bit...I know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. I'm reminded of a old poem/quote that I loved when I was in secondary school:

Lord grant me senerity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

Looking at issues from another perspective (big picture you know...cannot be a micromanager), this is not the end of the world and nothing to be too upset about. Actually the top concern in my life now is the many in my family who are unsaved..sighz. Pastor has been touching on Revelations and endtimes of late, and because of what I believe, it is scary what will happen to my loved ones when it happens. Whether it happens in my lifetime or not, I dunno (actually I hope it wun), but regardless, we can't run away from it. We can't decide when we will leave this earth, but we can decide where we want to be after this life. It is a simple truth that unfortunately many of my loved ones have not grasped. I've been 'preaching' hard to my hubby...but for those who know him...well...macham hitting brickwall all the time..I must go look for a sturdier hammer.

So this is my life. Feeling loads better after getting the above chunk off my head....well life goes on, isn't it.

Worst Lecturer I've Ever Known

Today is a Saturday and I'm in school for a make-up programming class. Have lost all interest in the subject, all thanks to my new programming lecturer. A pretty Russian lady, but who absolutely can't teach, and takes half an hour to set up the computer system for class. I thought my Calculus lecturer was bad enough, but she is worse.

Those who know me would probably be surprised. Why is Stella not paying attention during class? This is not the usual me. Since I'm not a born genius, sheer hard work is one of most readily used ammunition in life, especially for the gruelling course I'm in now. Sighz, examinations every 6 weeks and there are homework and projects to complete each term..I'm akin to a masochist who signed up for a year of torture, or to put it positively, an entire year of intense brain-flexing. My IQ level better improve after I complete this course, considering the number of hours I sit at my desk studying & solving problems everyday.

I have no problem working hard, cos learning is not always easy. But I have no patience for incompetent lecturers, and I'm seriously wondering how could the university have recruited such a lecturer. I don't recall having such negative sentiments about any lecturer during my undergraduate days, but to the lady who is muttering to herself at the front of the computer lab right now, she has managed to garner all my negativity and I'm totally shut off from what she is uttering. Even if i try to understand, I can't. Cos I have tried it for the past 3 sessions, but to no avail.

Thanks to one of my friends who recommended me thecplusplus.com website. I told a look at the website, and totally agree that it is easier learning from a website than listening her. Now I wonder why is part of my course fees going to this lousy lecturer. I'd rather pay the website for its clear and concise explanations, not a person who mutters to herself. I have no doubt for her capability in programming, but she simply can't teach!! And her dearth of talent in this area is torturing the poor students on a supposed lovely Saturday morning.

Anyway, cheeky me mananged to catch some shots using the PC during class, as a tribute to the worst lecturer I've ever met in my life:

Ok now me the complaint queen is done with her grouses for the day. Shall have a last ditch attempt to concentrate in class liaoz..what to do...there's a quiz in 2 weeks' time, sighz. So that's all for now. Adieu!

Finally..My Home

I promised myself many months back that I will track the development of my new place in my blog. In the midst of studying and rushing tutorials, I've finally found some time today to complete this entry!

My friends know that I can be pretty particular when it comes to shopping...the heftier the price tag, the more you can expect me to scrutinise before the purchase. The only exception came with my brand new Kate Spade wallet which got stained not too long after I used it...how am I supposed to know that patent leather is so vulnerable? Haiyo, my previous wallet cost only a fraction and never gave me problems....but before I get all worked up thinking about the poor state of my new wallet, let's leave this topic for another blog.

Anyway, fussy me and my less fussy hubby spent almost 1 year searching for a new home before we found our 'dream home'. Initially, I thought it wasn't what I wanted, mainly because it is a corridor unit, and I can just imagine having to give up my most comfortable sitting position on the sofa (By the way, I'm not exactly very lady-like) in case curious neighbours decide peer into my flat when they walk past..and it would be ridiculous if I were to keep the corridor windows shut all the time. But other than the corridor issue, the unit met what we wanted. Relatively high floor, living room has a nice open view and is pretty breezy, location is in the proximity of a train station and shopping mall, this place is within 10mins drive to my my granny and parents, and very importantly, the unit has few structural walls which mean that I can go for the open-concept look I have been dreaming about! So after thinking really long about it...we decided to purchase the flat.

The previous owners had this balinese/resort theme, and most of their furniture/furnishings are in dark coloured wood. Here are some pictures before they shifted out.

PRE-PRE RENOVATION

Welcome welcome!

From the main door, on the immediate left is a water feature

Dining Area (I couldn't help noticing that the owners kept corridor windows closed everytime I visited)This beige door leads to the storeroom, on the left is a bedroom and the right is the kitchen A simple and clean kitchen
A pretty spacious yard...
Common toilet Main view of living room


Here's the bedroom..also in the resort colours of brown and beige
Toilet looking abit worn out...but well, doesn't matter lah
The sink looks quite modern though, dunno whether I can keep it

After the purchase, my hubby and I spent a few months of frantic search for an interior designer (ID), we were really impressed with Kelvin from Intent, and decided to engage him.

I don't fancy tiles, cos I don't like the monotony of square/rectangular pieces pasted all round the flat..not to mention that tiles can cost a bomb! In a bid to kill 2 birds with 1 stone (the 2 birds being my non-preference for tiles and saving $$), we decided to go with the cool-looking and original cement flooring =) My ID initially tried to persuade us to drop the idea of having cement floor as such floors are subject to cracks and will leave stains due to its porous nature. But when he brought us to another client of his who has cement flooring.. we loved it! And thus, it was concluded that cement it shall be. Finally, my renovation is going to start soon!

PRE-RENOVATION

I finally collected home keys on 12 Jun. Wat are my frens doing? Living room..nice and spacious! I'm not too excited about the window grilles though

Here's the storeroom...prolly one of the most important room for me, since i'm forever buying and not throwing =) Spare room
Kitchen
Common toilet
Door leading to the master..come come.. Here's the combined master bedroom Master toilet


The view while walking out of the master bedroom Hee, took snapshots of Teacher S, and Ex-teacher J
N how can we miss out the pretty bunny gal?

We are going for an open concept with as few doors and as much glass as possible. The colour theme will be mainly white & grey, with splashes of colour (I love bright and loud colours eg. fuschia pink, but have deferred the main colour theme to my hubby since he will be footing most of the bill, hee. But white & grey also quite cool too lah, just abit cold, and very un-me). My flat will be undergoing an extreme makeover. New walls, a mosaic breakfast counter, glass wardrobes, and a limestone bed. The new walls are my favourite - they are made up of bricks with slanted slits...to me, it is probably the coolest part of the house. It is also practical cos it helps to block out my corridor window, which means I can sit in any manner I want when I watch TV! This wall was also my ID's key design concept that had me sold. Current status of my place is as shown in the pictures below: What a mess huh!

*Shock* all over my face The clump of sand is where my spare room will be. Walls to kitchen are down..nice!

This is my future study room...
And here's what's left of my master toilet
The view of my place from the kitchen. I love the open feel of this place!
The only area in my home that resembles civilisation

Renovations officially starts next week. I certainly can't wait for its transformation into my cool dream home!

Accident

After a hiatus from blogging, today (or rather last night, since it's already past midnight) was so eventful it deserves a page on this blog. Arggh, I got into a car accident! The 2nd one in my life...the 1st time I met one wasn't so bad. A van bumped into me when I was on my way to work, and he eventually paid cash for my repairs lah.

But this time round, I'm the unlucky one at the rear end =( Just left school and was driving back home along ECP....then suddenly I realised the car in front of suddenly stopped, & as hard as I jammed on my brake, I couldn't stop in time...and kissed the rear of the Toyota Wish pretty hard. Lucky no one was injuried though, but I was super distraught - called my in-laws immediately to seek advice on what I should do. Lucky one of my classmates was in the car (but unlucky for him though...i still feel so bad for wasting his time) and he helped me take pictures and note down particulars of the other 2 drivers while I was trying to sort out other stuff on my end. Coincidentally, there was a toll truck on the left side of the expressway, and the people were nice enough to suggest that I drive my car away from expressway and park somewhere with less traffic, and that they would follow me from behind. The truck even helped me blocked the traffic when I needed to filter lanes..such warm help from fellow roadsters, I really appreciate it - God Bless them!

Laterwards, I bumped into car driver #1 (there were 3 cars involved in the accident, mine takes queue # 3) at the shell station off bukit batok west ave 3, and then car driver #2 (the owner of the car which my dear Colt couldn't help smacking hard till its front sank in) called me and also turned up at the petrol station. I later found out that apparently, there were 2 other cars before car driver #1, and the first of the 2 cars actually stopped suddenly and switched on the hazardlights for no rhyme or reason. Then when the car pile-up occurred behind, a mechanic showed up and recommended drivers #1 and #2 a vehicle workshop and gave them namecards as well. So it seemed that the car accident might have been deliberately planned by some low-class workshop that is looking to earn $$ via underhand means.

But regardless whether the event was a set-up or not, it does not disregard the fact that I should have been a safer driver. The roads were wet (though rain has stopped) and I should have exercised extra caution. My father-in-law & uncle later told me that one should always try to keep to middle lane, and the extreme right lane is only for overtaking. Well...I will try to adhere to that rule, but sometimes cars in the middle lane go really slow, u know! & when I'm rushing for time...especially with the east-west route I have to take 4x a week to school....the drive is already so long, I just have to drive a bit faster. But point taken, I will try to be more careful in future.

Right now, I'm just stressing about my daily commute to school. Wah, public transport involving bus-long MRT ride-bus doesn't seem too appealing, yet it seems really extravagant to be taking cab to & fro, especially if I have to call cab after class. And it doesn't help that projects and assignments are due next week, and exams are scheduled the following week...so I need as much time as possible to do my work. But I'll see how, hopefully my insurance policy provides a replacement vehicle, and hopefully (fingers crossed) the car repairs will be completed quickly.

Sometimes I wonder why such 'suay' events must happen to me...why must add spice into my already very hectic student life. But I always believe (whether happily or grudgingly) that some things just happen for a reason, and I'd rather a minor accident occur then for something worse to occur. So that's my attitude to life...I may not like what has happened, but it could have turned out uglier, but thank God it didn't...at least no one was injuried, drivers #1 and #2 were pretty nice about it and even bothered to ask whether I was injuried..and lucky I also had the company of a nice classmate who helped me sort out stuff and stayed with me till my father-in-law and uncle arrived.

So I guess the 'morale of this story' is that some things happen for a reason, and hopefully everything cloud will have a silver lining!

Life as a Student

Its been a really long time since I've written. My heart and mind has always been with this blog though..wondering when I'll have time to pen down the latest happenings in my life.

In the short span of a few weeks since my last blog, my life has taken a poorer (materially-wise, that is) turn as I've decided to embark on the intellectual route which consists of reading wordy statistics and computing textbooks, rushing weekly assignments, and pulling my hair out every Wednesday night trying to understand my incoherent calculus lecturer. That's my life and hopefully things will take a better turn once I've adapted to the new lifestyle. Its been a mad rush trying to finish my assignments, in addition to the stress when I don't understand a single word the lecturer is uttering (lucky it is only for 1 subject thus far).

But well, at least I feel some sort accomplishment whenever I finally understand a difficult concept and when I finish a set of assignment...at least I've learnt something new. But I've just started the marathon run, and am hoping that I'll have the stamina to complete the steep learning curve I've embarked on.

Sighz...actually I shouldn't sigh. I should rejoice! Shouldn't it feel great to be on the path of learning again? My memory has kinda improved with the many mental exercises my brain has been through recently..and I should be enjoying the challenging homework that has been posed to me. Classmates have been pretty friendly and nice..although it's a little stressful to know that I'm one of the rare ones in class with no maths and computing background.

I actually miss working...less stressful and there are nice colleagues to chitchat with, not to mention the $$ that goes into my bank account every month =). But it's a choice I've made, and I'm going to try and pull it through. By the way, although it's only been 2 weeks of school, and exams are only 4 weeks away!

But surely with God's grace, I'll manage. It's been a frantic first 2 weeks, but I believe that He will be with me to see me through!

Amazing Singer

Amazing voice.

http://sg.video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=646496&fr=

Maths - Phew

Finally received my maths test result, and I cleared it! PHEW!

Now I'm all cleared to lead a student's life for the next one year. Understand that self-tuition is going to be more effective than sitting through lectures, but will see how.

Not looking forward to the daily 45min drive from East to West. In addition, my hubby has warned me not to speed (arggh...ok ok i'll be a safe driver). But I certainly hope to learn as much as I can, and with the grace of God, hopefully I'll be able to manage the challenging computing and maths subjects.

But its really a load off my shoulders....and its time to just relak and enjoy the rest of my break!