Birthday Thoughts

Today, I turn a year older. And I am starting to feel old.  This day every year reminds me that I am definitely aging - I just hope that I don't look and feel older than I should. 

My gosh, am I really in my mid-thirties? When I was much younger, my image of someone in her mid-thirties would be someone who was very old. If I had to describe her, she would be wearing spectacles, hair tied up neatly in a bun, and dressed in a business suit (note: skirt has to be knee length). In short, she looks traditional and well, just old. Thankfully or not, I don't feel that way yet.

Fifteen years ago, I thought nothing about jumping around along Orchard Road and making a din. I was also thrilled to slide down a muddy slope blindfolded, and to walk through a cemetery in the middle of the night. In fact, it was so fun I wouldn't mind reliving those days again. But as one gets older, people often expect one to behave with a greater sense of propriety and decorum. I recall members of the public (presumably the adults) called and complained to the university that we were a nuisance at Orchard Road.  Didn't they know we were just having harmless fun? The feeling of liberation and satisfaction when you perform funny & awkward (but totally decent) acts in front of total strangers - you have to experience it to understand the kick of doing it.  I miss those crazy years, but am glad that at least, I still have the memories from those years.

Just recently, A and I attended Mayday concert and we behaved as if we were 10 years younger.   We jumped, sung, yelled and cheered non-stop to all the great tunes the band performed.  I have never felt so carefree and relaxed. My key takeaway from the concert was to live life to the fullest - 要活得精采！I hope to attend all future Mayday concerts and I never want to become too inhibited to belt my lungs out and jump about. 

Back to the reality of today, today was an ordinary day. A is overseas for work, my son is running a high fever, my daughter continues to test my patience by not finishing her milk, and the air smells bad (apparently PSI level is above 100). Other than a mini celebration after dinner, today felt like any other day. I didn't even stepped out of my house one bit. But I am happy - happy that even though there wasn't a "high" to my day, at least there were no "lows". Well, I did treat myself to wholesome homemade almond butter for breakfast, and also cheered myself by watching shows on iPad. I guess what makes today less ordinary is being remembered by friends and family and receiving their birthday greetings. 

The positive part about growing old is that I have learnt to appreciate the little blessings in life. In fact, I think I am now more excited about my kids' birthdays than my own. Celebrating their birthdays and seeing the little faces light up makes me feel as happy as if I am also celebrating my birthday. 

So today is coming to an end. My final thoughts? I guess I just have to accept that growing old is part and parcel of life. I hope the wrinkles and white hair will stay away for many many years to come. And I never want to feel old. Here's a toast to feeling young and happy always! 

Happy Mother's Day?

12 May 2013

As a mum to an almost 5-month old baby (C) and 3 year old toddler (J), this is how I spent Mother's Day today.

1:30am  Missed my 12:30am alarm and overslept. Fed J milk (because he did not take his afternoon nap, fell asleep while having dinner, and missed his milk feed just before bedtime). My son decided he wanted to sleep with Daddy who was asleep with C in the other room and he went off.

2:30am 1st pumping session of the day. Kept myself awake via online shopping :)

3:30am J walked back into the room smiling cheekily. It was obvious he wasn't sleepy at 3:30am in the morning! I ended my pump session and persuaded J to brush his teeth by promising him a YouTube video on tooth extraction.

4am Brushed J's teeth.  Wanted to show J the agreed YouTube video, but he decided they all seemed too scary. I took the opportunity to remind J that he should brush his teeth everyday otherwise his teeth could decay just like those in the YouTube videos. Switched off the lights and we finally went to bed.

8:20am Overslept again! My alarm was supposed to ring at 7:30am. J woke up when I moved him from my bed to his. Spent a few minutes pacifying him as J is usually whiny when he is sleepy.

8:30am 2nd pump session of the day. Read news on my iPad at the same time.

9:30am Rushed to wash up and pack stuff. As I was brushing my teeth, A got J to wish me Happy Mother's Day and give him the gift he made in school.  Cheeky J insisted on giving me the present my colleague gave him instead.

10:30am Brought J to my aunt's country club for a swim.

11am Finally had breakfast - I am famished! After breakfast, spent some time chatting with my aunt and entertaining C while A & J had fun at the water playground. Managed to read some news while C napped in my arms. 

12:15pm Fed C milk. Changed diapers for C as she pooped while drinking milk.

1pm Lunchtime. Reprimanded J because he did not want to eat his fried rice. He was only interested in the chicken wings and orange juice. Managed to feed J a few mouthfuls of rice. J became sleepy and fell asleep in A's arms.

2pm Headed home. J woke up just when I was about to help him wear his diapers. 

3:20pm 3rd pump session of the day. Played candy crush to keep myself awake. 

4:20pm Decided to cook dinner for J as he did not have a proper meal the entire day. Prepared J's dinner after my pump session.

5pm A was exhausted and taking a nap.  I deliberated between tabao-ing or cooking dinner - decided to cook a simple meal since I had ready ingredients and it didn't require more effort than heading out to tabao.  Instructed the maid to wash and chop up the ingredients for dinner.

5:45pm Printed a family photo that J's teacher had requested. Photo colour was horrendous but I had no time to resolve the issue as I smelt a burnt smell emitting from J's porridge!! Thankfully I managed to salvage most of the porridge. It is during such moments when I really appreciate having a maid - in her absence, I will have to spend the next hour scrubbing the burnt pot.

6pm Caught J peeling the cork coaster and reprimanded him. Fed J dinner and got him to apologise. Happy that J was eating much better than he was at lunchtime. 

6:40pm Cooked fried bee hoon and had dinner thereafter. In the meantime, A showered J.

7:30pm After a short chat with my mum and giving C my bedtime kisses, I took a shower.

8:20pm 4th pump session of the day. Blogged this entry at the same time. C is sound asleep but surprisingly, J is still very energetic even though he hardly napped today. J kept asking A to read him storybooks - I am glad that J is oblivious to the iPhone in my hand. Not once did he ask me for my phone!

10pm J wanted to drink milk and finally, he is starting to yawn. But all signs of exhaustion dissipated when he saw 爷爷 and 奶奶 who were just back from a holiday. 

10:30pm J showed off his "doctor equipment" in a role play as a doctor. He would squeal in delight as we pretended to revolt when he tried to feed us medicine that was too bitter. I also packed Joshua's schoolbag.

11:30pm 爷爷 and 奶奶 heads home. I brushed J's teeth and then washed up. 

12am Finally put J to bed

One word to describe Mother's Day? Exhausting.  I don't need breakfast in bed or a luxurious spa treat. All I really really need is sleep. I know I should be more positive, but I am really really tired.  Tired Me = Grumpy Me. It will get better though...I can't wait. 

Smile Pinki

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CamEXQ8x72c

SMILE PINKI, the captivating story of a desperately poor little girl in rural India whose life is magically transformed when she receives free surgery to correct her cleft lip. 

Channel News Asia screened the above documentary last Friday.  In a way, I can identify with the children in the documentary, and yet I am tons luckier.  There are millions of children who are still awaiting treatment, and many of them face ostracization for a condition that is beyond their control.

I just hope there is greater awareness of the plight of these children, and that more can be done to help them so that they have a reason to smile.

Blogging

I enjoy blogging. This seems odd given that my last blog post was in Apr 2012, and I only posted 3 FB notes in 2012. But I have reasons for my few posts:

1. Lack of time. Other than blogging, I have also  given up on other hobbies since I entered parenthood. It is really hard to find time for hobbies when I am already so sleep deprived. I really miss practising on my keyboard, but plan to resume learning the keyboard when my little ones are older. I have not touched my Swarovski crystals in ages - no point making my own accessories when I do not have time to dress up anyway. My number one priority nowadays is catching up on sleep because I get extremely grumpy & lethargic when I get insufficient rest.

2. I have actually been blogging when I am free e.g. on my way to work. But due to the limited time I have to blog, I have several unfinished posts. 

3. I am a hugely private person. Sometimes I choose not to blog because I deem a particular issue to be too personal. And when I blog, I tend to be careful in my choice of words - I want to share my life and yet I do not think I should be pouring out all my woes publicly.

I enjoy blogging as it is a good way to vent my emotions when I experience a particularly trying or upsetting incident. Plus I want to remember those happy special occasions. In fact, blogging seems essential if I wish to remember the unique incidents which stirred up extreme emotions in me. It is literally a walk down memory lane as I relive the emotions I experienced whenever I read my older posts. 

For a start, I am going to post my uncompleted entries. As for the privacy issue, I guess I will just continue being selective in what I post.

Maids Again

Hiring maids has given me reasons to write about them.

I have now employed my 4th maid, and she has given me good enough reasons to attribute a blogpost to her.

She joined my family on 5th Dec with no working experience, so it has only been slightly over a month she has been with us. One would think that no brand new maid would dare to slacken or do anything funny within her first month. Not this one though. She should be given an award for her boldness and acting ability.

I wonder if her boldness is common for Filipino maids as she gets advice from her experienced relatives. She is on the phone with them almost every other evening...so maybe they taught her how to deceive her employer. Or maybe it is just her greedy nature.

Thankfully my family has yet to suffer any huge loss to our knowledge, but her little dirty acts are suffice to raise my blood pressure.

Within the first few days of her arrival, I accidentally saw her eating off the skin of the orange while she was cutting it up for me. I brushed it off as an unhygienic act but didnt think of confronting her.

When my mum-in-law unexpectedly returned home one day, she caught my maid rummaging through the biscuits. My mum-in-law did not mention anything but my maid subsequently spoke to her about it - she claimed she liked the biscuits my mum-in-law gave her and was looking at the brand earlier so that she could buy for herself in future. What an ingenious reason.

There was once when she finished her jam and did not inform us. As she has the bad habit of not telling us when her foodstuff has finished, I wanted to wait a few days before passing her the jam. She still had butter anyway. But my mum-in-law cautioned that she may end up consuming our jam instead. So I strategically positioned my jam jars in a certain way that evening - true and behold - the next day one of the jam jars was in a different position. Sighz.

There was once my mum-in-law asked her to cut some fruits. Right under my family's nose, my mum-in-law saw her keeping a slice of the persimmon under all the fruit peels. It was only when my mum-in-law decided to cut the fruits herself that my maid told her she had accidentally left out one piece under the fruit peels - wow what an accident.

The final straw came two Sat ago when my family was out and I could not access the video camera remotely. I suspected my maid had turned off the camera - which was exactly the case. The camera was still switched off when I got back and she promptly received a harsh reprimand from me. She explained her feet had accidentally hit the switch while she was cleaning the grilles. She got frightened when she switched the camera on again because the camera was revolving non-stop. I actually believed her story.

It was only on Sunday evening when A and I pieced the real story together. Because we found a piece of our cookie missing - we had counted our cookies the last time we ate them (yes we have to resort to such measures! ) and surprise surprise, there was now one less cookie . I questioned her (nicely), even reminded her she is a Catholic and should not be lying, but she was adamant she did not eat the cookie.

But the facts are obvious. She has turned off the surveillance camera while we were not home and helped herself to the cookie which was placed right next to the camera. I am not sure what else happened when the camera was switched off. In retrospect, the odds that she could have accidentally switched off the power switch were one in a thousand. Given the chunkiness of the camera plug and the location of the powerpoint and power switch, it would require more than an accident to switch off the camera. She might as well crashed my camera and said the camera fell off the table by itself.

I could close one eye if she only stole my cookie - it was not her first time anyway. Or maybe we really miscounted. Perhaps she did switch off the camera by accident. But for both incidents to happen at the same time is too much of a coincidence. If she is bold enough to switch off the camera, I cannot imagine what other tricks she would come up with in future. She is a liar, a thief, and a very audacious one for the matter. I certainly hope other Filipino maids have more integrity and pride in themselves than the one I have hired.

So I am off to hire maid no. 5, and we have decided that our experience with this Filipino is so horrendous we are sticking to Indonesian maids for a long time. All I want is a honest and hardworking maid - is that so difficult to find?

PS: Over the weekend, I noticed that a bottle of snacks which my family has never opened did not look as full as it should have been. Further, the scotch tape that was used to seal the container was pasted in a messy manner and had bubbles all over. I don't want to speculate but there is a huge likelihood someone had opened the container to taste its contents and tried to seal it back unsuccessfully. A thinks it was probably done before we alerted her that we knew she stole our cookie. We may be wrong of course, but we just do not trust her anymore. I want to give her a piece of my mind and send her back now, but A prefers to wait till the new maid arrives. She frustrates me so much I can't wait to kick her out of my house soon!

A Huge Decision

7 Nov 2011

Today marks the day on which A and I made a huge decision. In less than 24 hours, we made up our minds to commit our lives to it.

It was love at first sight - halfway through the introduction I knew this was for us. And we were not even actively looking. I guess love has a way of knocking on your door without you looking for it.

For someone who is extremely particular with design and style, I was willing to overlook the imperfections and focus on the attractive attributes - location and price.

For the rational me who would usually think umpteen times before taking the plunge, we made THE decision in less than 8 hours. 18 hours after the first introduction, we made our decision official.

I am extremely grateful for the advice and support from my family members, which reaffirmed our decision.

For the first time in many years, I think I will probably live on bread and milo for the next few months. And my online shopping will have to come to a hiatus - and I just came across two dresses I simply adore! The only exception will be J - I will continue to pay for what I deem as essentials for him, although I will have to think twice before buying that toy.

I am eagerly looking forward to my payday - I have never been as excited. Because every cent counts. We'll just need to settle the initial payment and the rest should be fine, by God's grace. I am thankful and very blessed that I have the opportunity to make this decision. It was a quick decision, but not a hasty one, I hope.

For the many months to come, I will have to learn to exercise self-discipline when it comes to shopping and try to save up as much as I can. Holidays will probably be taboo - but I still hope to bring my little J traveling - we'll see how. To me, J comes first. Whatever is best for him. While the next few years may be a little hard on us, I believe J will benefit from our decision plus A really likes it - which makes it all worth it.

Maids - Again

I am on my way to changing my maid again. This would be the fourth time this year, and apparently if I exceed four changes a year, I would be called up for a counselling session by MOM.

The first maid was clever and started to cut corners after a month or so. She wanted to go back home under the excuse she had to sell her land to pay for her brother's wedding. We think she probably found out that the salary for other Indonesian maids had increased.

The second woman, whom I don't even want to think about, was a huge mistake. I don't see how other households can tolerate her for the medium-term.

My current third one, completely new from Indonesia, is a bit slow but her attitude is alright. But she has the bad habit of repeating mistakes...one day she would get it right and the next time she would get it wrong. She is afraid of the dark and wanted to sleep with the lights switched on her first night. When I left her to stay with my in-laws for a few days, she was afraid to sleep alone and waited till my in-laws were home. She doesn't like to eat instant noodles and wants rice for all meals. If she is already getting simple things wrong, no way am I going to allow her to cook her own meals. Both my mum-in-law and I are so frustrated with her.

After working with us for about 1.5 months, she wanted to transfer, probably because I scolded her for repeating a mistake when she got it right previously. We were fine with that, especially since it has been so frustrating trying to correct the mistakes of someone who does not understand me.

I decided I would avoid reprimanding her since she was leaving soon. But I had to give her a piece of my mind two Fridays ago. For the last few weeks, I noticed that undergarment looked out-of-shape and I attributed it to them being worn out from normal wear and tear. I even asked my mum-in-law to demonstrate to her again how to wash them and reminded her to wash them carefully. But on Friday morning I realised a particular piece looked really distorted, so I went to check the rest and noticed that even a relatively new one was out-of-shape. I asked my mum-in-law and she told me she had the same experience as me. And then we found out she had not been washing in the manner we instructed her to.

The solution now is to wash them myself because for some reason, she cannot register our instructions. For the next few days, I also had to check how she was hanging my laundry and noticed that she did not take care in hanging my undergarment out to dry. And I had just reminded her and shown her how to do it the day before.

Just last Friday, I was so stressed out from reprimanding her. I was rearranging some stuff in the kitchen cabinet when I realised kaya was smeared on the inside of my cabinet door. I checked and realised that she had opened and consumed a new jar of kaya even though she had not finished her jam. She explained that the jam was sweet and caused her gum to hurt. To me, it is a lousy reason because kaya also contains sugar and she could have just consumed her bread with butter. Moreover, I never told her that jar of kaya was for her consumption. And I have also told her that she has to refrigerate her bread spread after opening. Otherwise, she would get a stomachache. So she probably never understood me, or she is just finding excuses. After she went back to sleep, I found out that my washed bedsheet was still in the washing machine. So I woke her up to hang the laundry.

This is the type of maid I am facing and I do not have the energy or time to be checking on her everyday. I can't wait to kick her out of my place. I cannot even trust her to wash or hang my clothes properly even though we have shown her how to do it a few times. And all she is responsible for is housework - she doesn't even help to cook or take care of my son. Isn't that easy enough?

I admit I am not the most patient person around. But I was never harsh with my first maid. For this third one, she just finds things to ignite my temper. And even my mother-in-law is frustrated, so her quality of work speaks for itself. As it is, my maid seems to be in poor health and always have a health issue every few weeks. She initially complained of weak legs from eating instant noodles, and then she had dizzy spells, followed by cough. Most recently she complained of painful gums, and just a few days ago she fainted (she claimed it was because she ate bee hoon, not rice for lunch). All in 2 months, and her appetite has grown so much she eats more than me already. On hindsight I think I made the right choice to change maid. I just hope she does not faint again before my new maid arrives.

I think I would be happier without a maid. But I also recognize without a maid, I will have to perform daily chores which would take my time away from J. I just hope my next maid will be better...after having three Indonesian maids, the next one is a Filipino. I suppose there will be pros and cons, but at least I am assured our level of communication would be much better. Let's wait and see...

Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

I do not know Steve Jobs personally, but his talent has touched the world and impacted our way of life so tremendously, I feel a sense of melancholy as if I did know him. I am inspired by his passion, positive attitude to life and boundless creativity. He is definitely someone very special and created by God to touch the world in a very special way. I sincerely hope he is at a better place and he will definitely be remembered for many many years to come.

I read the following article on yahoo today...it's an irony how we get to know more about a person after the person is gone. From the article, I caught a glimpse of his imperfections, but at the same time, the love he has for his family.

9 things you didn’t know about the life of Steve Jobs

For all of his years in the spotlight at the helm of Apple, Steve Jobs in many ways remains an inscrutable figure — even in his death. Fiercely private, Jobs concealed most specifics about his personal life, from his curious family life to the details of his battle with pancreatic cancer — a disease that ultimately claimed him on Wednesday, at the age of 56.

While the CEO and co-founder of Apple steered most interviews away from the public fascination with his private life, there's plenty we know about Jobs the person, beyond the Mac and the iPhone. If anything, the obscure details of his interior life paint a subtler, more nuanced portrait of how one of the finest technology minds of our time grew into the dynamo that we remember him as today.

1. Early life and childhood
Jobs was born in San Francisco on February 24, 1955. He was adopted shortly after his birth and reared near Mountain View, California by a couple named Clara and Paul Jobs. His adoptive father — a term that Jobs openly objected to — was a machinist for a laser company and his mother worked as an accountant.

Later in life, Jobs discovered the identities of his estranged parents. His birth mother, Joanne Simpson, was a graduate student at the time and later a speech pathologist; his biological father, Abdulfattah John Jandali, was a Syrian Muslim who left the country at age 18 and reportedly now serves as the vice president of a Reno, Nevada casino. While Jobs reconnected with Simpson in later years, he and his biological father remained estranged.

2. College dropout
The lead mind behind the most successful company on the planet never graduated from college, in fact, he didn't even get close. After graduating from high school in Cupertino, California — a town now synonymous with 1 Infinite Loop, Apple's headquarters — Jobs enrolled in Reed College in 1972. Jobs stayed at Reed (a liberal arts university in Portland, Oregon) for only one semester, dropping out quickly due to the financial burden the private school's steep tuition placed on his parents.

In his famous 2005 commencement speech to Stanford University, Jobs said of his time at Reed: "It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5 cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple."

3. Fibbed to his Apple co-founder about a job at Atari
Jobs is well known for his innovations in personal computing, mobile tech, and software, but he also helped create one of the best known video games of all-time. In 1975, Jobs was tapped by Atari to work on the Pong-like game Breakout.

He was reportedly offered $750 for his development work, with the possibility of an extra $100 for each chip eliminated from the game's final design. Jobs recruited Steve Wozniak (later one of Apple's other founders) to help him with the challenge. Wozniak managed to whittle the prototype's design down so much that Atari paid out a $5,000 bonus — but Jobs kept the bonus for himself, and paid his unsuspecting friend only $375, according to Wozniak's own autobiography.

4. The wife he leaves behind
Like the rest of his family life, Jobs kept his marriage out of the public eye. Thinking back on his legacy conjures images of him commanding the stage in his trademark black turtleneck and jeans, and those solo moments are his most iconic. But at home in Palo Alto, Jobs was raising a family with his wife, Laurene, an entrepreneur who attended the University of Pennsylvania's prestigious Wharton business school and later received her MBA at Stanford, where she first met her future husband.

For all of his single-minded dedication to the company he built from the ground up, Jobs actually skipped a meeting to take Laurene on their first date: "I was in the parking lot with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, 'If this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman?' I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she'd have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we've been together ever since."

In 1991, Jobs and Powell were married in the Ahwahnee Hotel at Yosemite National Park, and the marriage was officiated by Kobin Chino, a Zen Buddhist monk.

5. His sister is a famous author
Later in his life, Jobs crossed paths with his biological sister while seeking the identity of his birth parents. His sister, Mona Simpson (born Mona Jandali), is the well-known author of Anywhere But Here — a story about a mother and daughter that was later adapted into a film starring Natalie Portman and Susan Sarandon.

After reuniting, Jobs and Simpson developed a close relationship. Of his sister, he told a New York Times interviewer: "We're family. She's one of my best friends in the world. I call her and talk to her every couple of days.'' Anywhere But Here is dedicated to "my brother Steve."

6. Celebrity romances
In The Second Coming of Steve Jobs, an unauthorized biography, a friend from Reed reveals that Jobs had a brief fling with folk singer Joan Baez. Baez confirmed the the two were close "briefly," though her romantic connection with Bob Dylan is much better known (Dylan was the Apple icon's favorite musician). The biography also notes that Jobs went out with actress Diane Keaton briefly.

7. His first daughter
When he was 23, Jobs and his high school girlfriend Chris Ann Brennan conceived a daughter, Lisa Brennan Jobs. She was born in 1978, just as Apple began picking up steam in the tech world. He and Brennan never married, and Jobs reportedly denied paternity for some time, going as far as stating that he was sterile in court documents. He went on to father three more children with Laurene Powell. After later mending their relationship, Jobs paid for his first daughter's education at Harvard. She graduated in 2000 and now works as a magazine writer.

8. Alternative lifestyle
In a few interviews, Jobs hinted at his early experience with the psychedelic drug LSD. Of Microsoft founder Bill Gates, Jobs said: "I wish him the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He'd be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger."

The connection has enough weight that Albert Hofmann, the Swiss scientist who first synthesized (and took) LSD, appealed to Jobs for funding for research about the drug's therapeutic use.

In a book interview, Jobs called his experience with the drug "one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life." As Jobs himself has suggested, LSD may have contributed to the "think different" approach that still puts Apple's designs a head above the competition.

Jobs will forever be a visionary, and his personal life also reflects the forward-thinking, alternative approach that vaulted Apple to success. During a trip to India, Jobs visited a well-known ashram and returned to the U.S. as a Zen Buddhist.

Jobs was also a pescetarian who didn't consume most animal products, and didn't eat meat other than fish. A strong believer in Eastern medicine, he sought to treat his own cancer through alternative approaches and specialized diets before reluctantly seeking his first surgery for a cancerous tumor in 2004.

9. His fortune
As the CEO of the world's most valuable brand, Jobs pulled in a comically low annual salary of just $1. While the gesture isn't unheard of in the corporate world — Google's Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt all pocketed the same 100 penny salary annually — Jobs has kept his salary at $1 since 1997, the year he became Apple's lead executive. Of his salary, Jobs joked in 2007: "I get 50 cents a year for showing up, and the other 50 cents is based on my performance."

In early 2011, Jobs owned 5.5 million shares of Apple. After his death, Apple shares were valued at $377.64 — a roughly 43-fold growth in valuation over the last 10 years that shows no signs of slowing down.

He may only have taken in a single dollar per year, but Jobs leaves behind a vast fortune. The largest chunk of that wealth is the roughly $7 billion from the sale of Pixar to Disney in 2006. In 2011, with an estimated net worth of $8.3 billion, he was the 110th richest person in the world, according to Forbes. If Jobs hadn't sold his shares upon leaving Apple in 1985 (before returning to the company in 1996), he would be the world's fifth richest individual.

While there's no word yet on plans for his estate, Jobs leaves behind three children from his marriage to Laurene Jobs (Reed, Erin, and Eve), as well as his first daughter, Lisa Brennan-Jobs.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/8-things-didn-t-know-life-steve-jobs-172130955.html

Shoes - An Update

Finally had my shoes back after 1.5 months of waiting. Width of shoes still felt a bit tight - an ominous sign.

Day 1 of wearing my artificially expanded shoes - Horrible. Heels and both sides of my feet were abraded. It was so painful I had to use plasters on the heels and bear the rest of the soreness.  Shoes that ill-treat my feet like this will usually be given the cold shoulder and left to rust and decay in my shoe cabinet. But not this pair given the amount it costs me - I must persevere! 

Day 2 - Still quite bad. I now have a blister on the right heel and it hurts just walking in the shoes. Plasters to the rescue again and I ended up in flip-flops most of the day.

Day 3 - Shoes are still abrading my sides a bit. But my heels feel fine. Not the most comfortable pair of shoes but at least it is now wearable.

Day 4 - Shoes still feel a bit tight, but yay, no more plasters! 

A week later - My shoes took a 5-day break at home as I brought my trusty crocs overseas for a holiday. When my feet met the shoes again, the hard leather felt foreign and uncomfortable compared to the soft cushioning of my crocs (I just need crocs to design gorgeous shoes for work!). Nevertheless, my feet adjusted after a while and I survived a 10-hour workday with my shoes.

So this whirlwind relationship continues...but at least now I am assured of a long-term (though slightly uncomfortable) relationship with my shoes :)

Shoes

A person's outfit and accessories can give great insights to a person's personality. For instance, I can usually tell whether a person loves dressing up from her choice of footwear. The more practical ladies are usually in pumps or flats, whereas the fashionistas can be found in towering stilettos suitable only for the runway and nowhere else.

Despite shoes being one of the least conspicuous accessory, I personally believe it is the one accessory worth splurging on.  With my many experiences with blisters and sore feet from wearing ill-fitting shoes, I have learnt that the quality of my shoes can make or break my day.  And I have also learnt the hard way that branded shoes do not necessarily mean quality shoes.

During my recent trip to Italy, I decided to splurge on 2 pairs of leather shoes from a brand raved by most as having very comfortable shoes.

I was extremely thrilled with my purchase of 2 pairs of gorgeous shoes. But my excitement turned into frustration within an hour my feet met my new shoes.  Even though I bought half-a-size larger than my usual shoe size, the shoes gave me blisters and squeezed my feet till it hurt just standing in my shoes (and I was already wearing stockings to reduce the friction).

I decided to bring the pair of shoes to the local boutique in Singapore.  The saleslady told me that the shoes I purchased in Italy were of "C" cut, and the Asian boutiques usually carried "D" cuts to fit the broader Asian feet.  I tried the "D" cut and the shoes were evidently looser.

As I had another pair of "C" cut shoes I have not worn, I asked if I could exchange it for a "D" cut.  The answer was negative, as the Asian boutiques usually did not carry "C" cut shoes.  The saleslady explained that the local boutiques were only partly owned by the original owners and they could not accept cuts/designs they did not sell.

So there I am...after forking out a mean sum for branded luxury shoes, I am stuck with shoes that don't fit me. It is a wonder why non-luxury brands can accord good exchange/refund policies to customers, but not that luxury brand -particularly when it is obvious the customer is paying a high premium not only for quality products, but also exceptional customer service.  The brand had not only failed me in terms of quality, its poor exchange policy has left a distaste in my mouth. I was half-expecting the local boutique to charge me for the shoe expansion service, but thankfully they didn't.  I have to wait over a month before I can collect my shoes though.  

My search for nice comfortable work shoes continues...in the meantime, I can only hope that the artificial shoe expansion will improve the fit of those stubbornly uncomfortable shoes. And would I ever purchase another pair of branded shoes? I hate to admit it, but I probably would.  I still believe that a price must be paid for good craftsmanship.  But next time, I would have to be doubly sure the shoes fit like a Tee before I buy them.

A Movie and A Book

The Movie
On my flight back from Italy, I watched a movie titled "Be with me" by Royston Tan. It contains a documentary of a 61 year old Singaporean lady, Theresa Chan Poh Lin, who has been blind and deaf from a young age.  She is an inspirational figure because she continues to lead life to the maximum despite her handicaps.  She even managed to pick up English despite her handicaps, and remains positive about life. This movie won a Special Mention Award at the Tokyo International Film Festival in 2005.

Many a times, I complain and even get angry at the smallest things (e.g. the Chinese man who cut my queue at the airport this morning), but God has shown me that I am so blessed. So blessed that I can see the beauty around me, hear my son's adorable voice, and being blessed with the ability to appreciate life to the fullest. I have had some downs in life, but they are minuscule relative to what this courageous lady had gone through.  I should be more appreciative and really, seriously, count my many blessings. May God bless this lady richly.  

The Book
One of the privileges of having great in-laws is that I can travel with A, catch up on my sleep, and read a book.  I started to enjoy reading in the past few years, but reading becomes a luxury and an almost impossible task when one has a young and active toddler. Anyway, I had the opportunity to read during my Italy holiday and picked a book from Amazon's list of bestsellers.  The title of the book would grab anyone's attention - Heaven is for real, A little boy's astounding story of his trip to heaven.

I believe in Heaven and Hell, and this book offers glimpses into what is awaiting us after this life.  It offers hope to those who have lost loved ones and reaffirms the faith of those who believe. In one of the chapters, the little boy shared that he met his unborn sister in heaven.  He did not know that his mother had miscarried previously and his sharing helped to heal the pain his mother had carried for years, as well as soothed the grief of another lady who gave birth to a stillborn. 

Obviously on the extreme, there can be 2 reactions to the contents of this book - as aptly displayed by A and myself.  A is not a believer and thinks the father (who is a pastor) could have cooked up the facts.  I believe in the truth of this story - what good would it do to falsify a story like this, and besides if he were really a pastor, he would know that it would be terribly wrong to do so.

This book will serve as a reminder to me how life should be led. When heaven is in perspective, it makes me look at things differently.  I will recommend this book to anyone because it has blessed me so much. 

Domestic Worker II

A week after the arrival of my maid, the saga continues.

It was Sat morning. I spotted ants crawling in the top drawer of my kitchen cabinet and upon closer scrutiny, there were even more ants in the drawer below. When I opened the drawer, there were ants congregating around a brown spot on the lid of my nutella jar.  Neither my hubby nor myself had recently eaten nutella and my in-laws do not consume nutella. So the culprit needs no guessing.

My maid had obviously helped herself to the spread even though I had told her that she can only eat specific foodstuff on her first day of work.  And she did not even bother to wipe her traces clean.  Thanks to her carelessness, an army of ants now attest to her theft and blatant disregard for my instructions. 

My immediate reaction was one of fury, and I gave her a piece of my mind. She gave me the same reason - she forgot. Even if she really forgot, she should have the common sense to know that not all foodstuff in her employer's home are for her consumption. And she even had the cheek to tell me that she had wiped the drawer and its contents the day before when she noticed the ants.

I don't enjoy reprimanding my maid as it stresses me out. As it is, I woke up the next day with a gnawing headache (again) and cut my fingers twice - which is very unlike me. At the rate I am going, I will suffer from a panic attack or sever my hand in the next month. That's when I decided I have to look at things differently. There is really no point stressing myself out over a maid, no matter how much she infuriates me. 

So I will treat her as a test of my patience and keep my cool as much as possible. I hope I can hang on long enough while we are living under the same roof.  But I really can't wait to get her out of my home. In the meantime, I recognise I need a maid at home so a lousy one is better than none. Shortly after I made my decision, I discovered food residue (what's new) on the colander. So I decided to just rinse it away instead of telling her off.

From my observations, she seems to be someone who pampers herself. From the nutella incident, her preference for hot showers (my previous maid showered with unheated water), her choice of imitation LV bag and purse, and the pair of sequined jeans she wore when I first met her, she is probably someone who enjoys the finer things in life.  It's just too bad she does not possess the right working attitude that will give her family and herself a better life. 

Domestic Worker

21 Jun 11
I now truly understand what it means to make one's blood boil. Three days after the arrival of my new maid, I have a splitting headache and I can't wait to get her out of my home.

It didn't start off well. Her bio-data claimed she worked two years with a Singaporean employer. When she arrived, we found out she had four previous employers, and the maximum tenor she worked for was only 15 months. According to her, this is her employment history:
- 1st employer: she requested for a transfer after a month because she could not handle taking care of babies
- 2nd employer: her employer terminated her after two months because an elderly lady under her care fell down
- 3rd employer: she requested for a transfer after 15 months because her employer often had people over to play mahjong and she could not sleep well as they would play mahjong in her room
- 4th employer: her employer forgot to renew her passport. She worked for the last employer for 10 months.

Very soon, she'll have one more to add to her list and if she is honest about it, her employer terminated her because she is extremely forgetful and incompetent.

From day 1, she never failed to leave some food residue or dish washing detergent on my baby's bottles or cutlery everyday. This is despite my repeated emphasis to her that baby's items must be washed and rinsed very thoroughly.

And whenever I emphasized a particular way of doing something, she always gets it wrong. From how I want my laundry to be hanged, differentiation of chopping boards for slicing raw meat & veg vs fruits, to ironing clothes - she always forgets, doesn't asks, and obviously gets it wrong.

I have given her a chance despite her blatant lie about her employment history - but she failed to prove herself. Her perpetual excuse is her poor memory. Even if I tolerated that, her tardiness in washing my baby's bottles is inexcusable. And did I mention that she even requested to rest earlier when I told her her bedtime was 11pm-7am.

I would not have hired her if I knew of her spotty employment history, and I don't think any other employer would either. Further, I am paying her $500 as an experienced maid when she behaves like a completely new one.

Something has to be done about falsification of records by domestic workers in order to get a job. While I sympathise with their plight, I cannot condone their dishonesty.

Bday Thots

I am a year older today. It feels like any other day though - I even went to work today (this was a big no-no in the past).

Somehow as I grow older, I tend to want to forget how old I am. I wish I can stay in my 20s forever - with all that hyped up energy and carefreeness. With age, there is a greater sense of responsibility and I start keeping count of my accomplishments in life (which is not much, except for my super adorable son & my wise choice in picking a great hubby - if these are considered accomplishments).

I used to have lofty dreams of scaling the corporate ladder - my success measured in terms of an impressive job title and an equally matched pay packet. I have since toned down my corporate dreams - I'll still try my best, but above all, I hope to achieve a good balance among my many priorities in life.

Any regrets? Yup. The key one is having two great friends walk out of my life. But this made me realised all relationships - even friendships that have spanned over twenty years - are fragile, and should be cherished dearly. I think of them often, miss them terribly, and I am reminded to treasure my other great gal friends God had blessed me with.

Truly, friends are a blessing from God. They fill a void that family can't. Certain things that cannot be shared with family can somehow be shared with great gal friends. So to all my great gal friends (you know who you are), thanks for everything and like I always say - it's all thanks to you gals that I don't fear growing old, cos we're all growing old together! :)

Dying without NOK

Read the following on ST blog today. A 70+ old man, who still has to work to make ends meet, dies alone, and his son didn't even want to see him for the last time. Sounds like a plot extracted from a soppy Korean drama series - but this is cold hard reality in Singapore. On this sunny island, the gloomy reality is that six old folks depart from this world without their NOK every month.

This is an apt reminder that I should count my
many blessings. Despite our daily grouses, if we could just stop and compare, we'd realise we are so much luckier than the many unfortunate people around us. So I'll try not to compare myself against the guy who owns that cool Porsche in my office building, and count myself blessed that my family can count on our practical Nissan to ferry us around.

"If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"
Max Ehrmann

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Dying without NOK
Guest blogger Alicia Tan, a senior medical social worker at Singapore General Hospital, talks about her patients – elderly Singaporeans who die without next-of-kin to claim their bodies.
Blogs | Thursday, June 02 2011

I ENCOUNTERED a case just a few days ago.

The ambulance had picked up a man in his 70s by the roadside at Jalan Bukit Merah. He was suffering from bleeding in the brain and was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit when he arrived at the Singapore General Hospital.

As he was unconscious, there was no way for us to find out any information from him.

He had nothing on him – no identity card, wallet or handphone. All he had by his side when he was picked up were two packets of food.

Since he was found at Jalan Bukit Merah where there are lots of rented flats, my first thought was that he had gone out to pack food for his wife, who could be bedridden at home. I was worried about the old man’s wife. I also wondered if he had children and if they knew he was missing.

Every month, about six elderly Singaporeans die without next-of-kin (NOK) to claim their bodies. (See report here.)

Here at the Medical Social Workers (MSW) department where I work, it is our responsibility to establish patients' identities and trace their NOK with the help of the police.

If no NOK can be found to claim the body, we would source for a charitable undertaker for the body to be cremated according to religious rites.

With no information on the name and address of the old man picked up at Bukit Merah, we were unable to call his neighbouring social services centres or voluntary welfare organisations, conduct a home visit, or go around the area to ask if anyone knew him.

While discussing what we could do, the nurses informed us that his blood pressure had dipped and he could pass on anytime.

We immediately called the police to request for finger-printing to establish his identity, and shared our concerns and fears that he could have been packing food for his wife when he was found unconscious.

Fortunately, the police managed to contact his brother, who in turn managed to persuade the patient’s son, who he has not seen in 20 years, to come and see the patient for the last time.

The old man passed on shortly after his son arrived.

We found out the old man stayed alone in a rented flat and worked as a hawker assistant at the neighbouring coffeeshop. He had just finished work that day and packed all the leftover food into a tingkat and two lunch boxes, before making his way home.

It was supposed to be his dinner, a dinner he never had.

I don’t watch “emo”, teary dramas on TV as I’m already dealing with too many emotions every day at work. I find it difficult to bring the emotions home and watch something that will remind me of all the patients and their problems. There is just too much emotional burden to bear.

My job has taught me that life is too short to keep looking back. You can only move forward and live each day like there is no tomorrow. To be able to help others is also a blessing.

Alicia Tan is a Senior Medical Social Worker with Singapore General Hospital (SGH) and a registered social worker with the Singapore Association of Social Workers. She manages Carelink, SGH's one-stop referral centre providing discharge planning for patients and their caregivers, and also works with survivors of elder abuse and domestic violence.

Alicia Tan
Guest Blogger

Unpredictability

If you were to use one word to describe life, what would it be? Mine would be - unpredictable.

We never know what would happen to us the next moment, until we live that moment. Comparing myself against the guy who zoomed past in his cool Ferrari this afternoon, this is one thing we have in common. I wonder how many Ferraris he would be willing to trade for the knowledge and control of his future. Unfortunately, no number of Ferraris would allow anyone to foresee or dictate one's future.

I am feeling a little forlorn because I received news about the demise of an acquaintance today. I don't know him well, but my hubby used to mentioned about him so it feels as if I know him somehow. It was a sudden departure - apparently a freak fall - and what is saddening is that he leaves behind his wife and 3 young children. I can't imagine the overwhelming devastation his wife, and in particular, the three young hearts have to bear. It is almost cruel to let little children lose their doting father and to grow up with the grief that their father will never be there to witness their achievement of the important milestones in life. No more hugs or kisses, just memories and photos to cling on to.

And life is like that. One moment our heart is beating, and the next moment, it stops. It can happen to anyone, whether one drives a Ferrari or not. This makes me wonder what is really the point of working long tortuous hours and worrying over the little things in life. Life is better spent living life to the max and being happy all the time.

And I will try - to live life as happily as possible, with minimal room for regrets. To spend as much time with my loved ones as possible. And I now see (for the umpteenth time actually) that some things in life matter more than others, and my life needs some reprioritisation. God willing, I will get out of my state of inertia and lead a life filled with colours and meaning instead of trodding on along that dusty route I am so used to.

Perspective

16 Dec 2010
Met up with a friend for lunch last week. I haven't seen him for 9 months and boy was he different. He lost 15kg and had a vastly different perspective towards life from 9 months ago.

He attributed his weight loss to his new vegan diet. And he recommended a book - 4 day work week, which changed his perspective about work and motivated him to look for ways to earn money without working. 

I curiously asked him how was that was possible. Given that was pretty good with IT, he had written & sold an iPhone app that was generating him some income - without any ongoing labor!

Just chatting with him set me thinking about my own life. I, like many others, grumble about work, but I work anyway for the income and mental stimulation. And truth be told, life is so much more than just work. I spend at least 1/3 of everyday at work...and even longer when I  include time spent preparing to go to work, overtime, etc.  On an annual basis, this works to at least 25% of my  life. If I were to work from 21-50 years old, that is equivalent to at least 7.5 years of my life. 

Work-life balance has become priority since J entered my life. He is only going to be a baby once, and I definitely don't want to miss his growing years. Which is why J is my top most priority - I don't ever want to regret not spending sufficient time with him. I know my mum regrets it, and I understand how it feels as a child - so I am determined that my baby gets all my time, love, hugs and kisses possible :) I often hear parents lamenting that their babies grow up too fast, and I want to treasure my time with my precious J before he is all grown-up with little time left for his parents. 

So I am thinking hard what exactly I want from life. J is super important, but I am not exactly stay-home mum material. I don't mind working, but I don't want to be a slave to my work. I want to lead a happy and meaningful life, with the freedom and time to do what I want. Yet at the same time, I need some income for sustenance and shopping :) 

I think many of us just live by rote - study, work after graduation and we work hard. Some of us may succeed and make a significant mark, but more often we remain worker ants only to be replaced by younger and higher-energy people. And then we retire, and we find that we don't have much time and energy to enjoy life after that. 

Do I want that? Not really. I thank God that I am starting to see things from a different perspective, and badly need His guidance on what I should do. Don't get me wrong, people should still work - after all, there is no free lunch in this world. But we should live life to the max, be happy always, & not let work overwhelm us. Work is after all just a means to earn our keep...I am not sure how many people will think fondly of their accomplishments at work at their deathbed. It's a bit morbid to think about death, but that is everyone's endpoint and when we think of this unavoidable ending, it helps to bring into perspective what are the really important things to us. 

On my deathbed, I hope I can think about the lives I've touched, the smiles I brought to people around me. I'd wish terribly that I had spent more time with my loved ones & pray that God's abundance of blessings will fill their lives always. That God's love, joy and peace will be with them always, that they will be blessed with excellent health, that they will stay close to Jesus always, and that they will lead a meaningful, happy and fulfilling life. That those who do not know Jesus will believe in Him soon. I hope to be ready and excited that I am going to a better place. Anyway it's great to know that we can indeed live happily ever after when we believe and trust in the Lord! 

Hiatus

It's been a long time since I've blogged...with my hands full with a simply adorable but demanding baby, and sleeping only 4-5 hours every night...I simply had no energy or time to blog. There are tons of things I'll love to do - sleeping for 12 hrs straight, playing my keyboard, catching a nice movie, reading a nice novel while sipping a cup of hot chocolate, etc. - I'm craving for some peace and quiet, and time alone. But that will have to wait for many years to come. Everything is about J now...he is super active and is literally "non-stop action" unless he is in dreamland. I'm tired but happy, and just grateful that J is healthy and well.

But I've decided to resume blogging -partly to remember, partly to grouse and vent. And I'm blogging on my way to work now - have to maximize use of my time :)

Anyway, I'm just glad my life has resumed a bit of normacy - with occasional lunch gym sessions, and now blogging :) Things will surely get better!

Random Thoughts

I have been too busy to blog. But on account of a dear friend who says she has been perpetually seeing my 80-year old lady blog on the top of my blog page, here is a new entry =)

In the past months of absence from this blog, certain events have happened which caused me to have the following thoughts:

1. Death of Michael Jackson
I deem him to be a music icon, someone who will go down in history and be remembered for his musical establishments as much as Elvis. But he will also not be forgotten for the many dark rumours surrounding his life, be it his unnatural inclination towards children, his numerous plastic surgeries, etc.

The first thought that flashed in my head when I saw the news on TV was: Oh man, he was rich but was he every happy? He did so many things to try to be happy, but was he really ever happy?

Then subsequent thoughts were: Life is short, treasure it. Work may ****, but that's not all of life. In summary, live life to the fullest everyday (if possible)..if not, maybe at least a couple of hours each day.

2. Death of a 5 year old boy
The boy is a colleague's friend's son, so I don't even know the direct kins of the little boy who has passed on.

But it is always saddening to hear of someone's bereavement, especially when he/she is only a young child. The child will definitely be greatly missed by his parents, and many years down the road, they will probably always wonder how their child will be like, what career he will choose if he were still alive. And sadly, this is a pain and loss that no time can heal.

My thoughts? Life is so unpredictable. I don't even know how long I will live. So I should really treasure my loved ones.

3. The Significance A Good Boss Makes To One's Worklife
I am a people person, and good work relationships are important to me. Having a good boss is great because you get to learn from him, be it technically, the way he thinks, and even the way he interacts with people. But if you get a lousy boss, you will start dragging your feet to work everyday.

But the bright side of having a bad boss is that you will dislike his behaviour to the extent that you will have them ingrained in your head such that it becomes unlikely that you will ever exhibit that behaviour because you realise that you do not want to be a pest to your future subordinates. In short, you learn what you should not be.

4. Life is Quite Hard
Pimples can just surface overnight, but they take weeks to disappear.

Frustrating because this is exactly what is happening to me. Age has a part to play too, the pimples are not receding fast enough. I stare in the mirror every morning and evening, and wonder when will I regain my previous pimple-free complexion. I am even contemplating of laying hands on my face and praying about it - but that will be a last resort.

I am still trying to figure out the cause of the sudden outburst of red. Sleeping too late? Too much stress from work? Exercising too much? Age? Using the wrong facial products?

But more than wanting to find out the cause, I am hoping that my body will cease this uncontrollable surge of youth spots. With age, I am supposed to get less pimples, so this random outburst is just a one-time off and it will recede into dormancy forever.

I won the Pioneer Competition!

Just found out that I won the "I've Got My Pioneer!" competition! The results were printed in today's Today newspaper.

The contest required me to submit a photo of my home with any Pioneer product, as well as a short description on how the Pioneer product has changed my life (or something along those lines). The win came as a surprise as I received an email from a Pioneer staff a few days back informing me that my submission had been selected as part of the Top 40 entries, and they would like to come to my place for a short photoshoot and interview, which I assumed was to facilitate the selection of the winning entry.

Here is my original entry:
The first two things we do when my hubby and I are back from work are: switch on the lights, and then the TV. Watching TV programmes has become a daily necessity – of similar priority to brushing our teeth. We decided on the Kuro Plasma TV for our 1st home because of rave reviews we have heard, as well as its aesthetic appeal. My hubby and I were aware that the TV would be our home’s key feature, and we needed it to fit in with the “raw” feel of our home. Our Kuro has done a perfect job – it has a simple and stylish pure black design that complements our home’s white walls and cement floor, it gives us crystal clear pictures, and we have endless hours of fun in front of our Kuro watching movies, playing Wii, browsing through our holiday photos. Our hours after work and on weekends centers around Kuro. Now, we spend more time at home than we ever had – seriously! One can never underestimate the importance of a good TV – it is of essence if you value quality entertainment like us.

And an abbreviated version was printed:
We decided on the Kuro Plasma TV for our 1st home because of rave reviews we have heard, as well as its aesthetic appeal. Our Kuro has done a perfect job – it has a simple and stylish pure black design that complements our home’s white walls and cement floor, it gives us crystal clear pictures, and we have endless hours of fun in front of our Kuro watching movies, playing Wii, browsing through our holiday photos. One can never underestimate the importance of a good TV – it is of essence if you value quality entertainment like us.

It's a pity there are no cash prizes to be won. But nevertheless, still quite happy and I am so proud of my bee-e-u-ti-fuul home =)

Coincidentally, I had also entered into this Women's Weekly Best Beauty Buys Promotions and received a letter earlier this week informing me that I won a Eyelash and Eyebrow Treatment Stick. I had to choose a particular product and sms the product number in order to enter into the promotion. Now I wonder why did I even pick this product in the first place.

Looks like it has been a week of wins! Admittedly, the prizes are not very useful. But for the moment, the thrill of winning still beats the practical aspect of wondering what I will do with the prizes... =)