Baby at 12 weeks - 63mm long
15 weeks
Baby at 22 weeks - 494gm
15 weeks
19 weeks
Baby at 22 weeks - 494gm
Showing posts with label God's Gift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's Gift. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
31 Weeks - Bulkier and Clumsier
Time flies..I can't believe I'm at the end of my 31st week of pregnancy. About 2 more months to go before I'll see Mr Baby J face to face.
Yup, my baby is going to be a boy - my initial instincts told me so, my grandma gave her verdict via her apparently accurate and traditional manner of computation, my gynae literally guaranteed the gender during one of the regular ultrasounds, the nurse doing my 2nd trimester scan confirmed it, and colleagues are also pretty sure from the visual inspection of my "pointed" tummy =)
With me trying to squeeze in as much sleep as I can on weekday nights (though not too successfully) in the past months, and just having jam-packed weekends visiting friends, running errands, baby-shopping, I just didn't have time to blog. Fortunately today is a lazy Monday and I'm on leave, so decided to blog abit.
So exactly how do I feel at 7 months of pregnancy? Here are my random load of emotions and thoughts:
1. I'm heavy - having gained 12kg from my pre-pregnancy days.
2. The weight is making my movements slower and clumsier - from getting out of bed, getting out of the chair, and even walking. I can no longer walk as fast as I used to, but I think I'm still walking at a decent pace.
3. Climbing stairs is making me breathless! Walking on flat ground is still fine, but just climbing up the multi-storey carpark at my place is enough to send me gasping for air. But ironically, I kinda appreciate the short climbs cos feeling slightly breathless actually makes me feel like I've exercised and hence, a teeny weeny bit healthier.
4. I'm still sticking to my 15min of cycling and 15min of treadmill/cross-trainer at the gym, twice a week. This is a lot less than I used to exercise, but well, I guess it's better than not exercising at all.
5. I've not run in a long time. Not that I miss it, but I sometimes wonder how exhausting my 1st post-pregnancy jog will be.
6. I can no longer fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes - the cirumference of my belly is a cool 100cm. At home, I prefer to wear night dresses, cos my home shorts are way too uncomfortable. When dressing to go out, I can forget about my pre-pregnancy denim wear. I have to don maternity tops/bottoms or really baggy pre-pregnancy clothes. Although I can still squeeze into some stretchy pre-pregnancy clothes, I am a bit more selective so as to avoid overstretching them.
7. With 2 heartbeats in me, I'm feeling less cold than I used to. I've not touched my jackets in a long time - just a cardigan or shawl is usually sufficient to keep me comfortable in office.
8. No haircut or any form of hair indulgence since I found out I was pregnant. I'm growing my fringe for convenience during my confinement, and my hair is pretty long - reaching about half the length of my back. I'll probably head for a haircut a couple of weeks before I'm due. In the meantime, I neaten my messy wavy tresses using hairclips.
9. My bone structure has expanded - tremendously. From a pre-pregnancy size S, I reckon between size M and L now =( The most obvious difference comes from the use of bra extenders when wearing my pre-pregnancy undergarments.
10. My hubby and I are almost done with all the baby-shopping. Bought most of the big baby items, with a few miscellaneous items (e.g. more nappies, nappy liners, diapers, more wet wipes, nappy rash cream) to go.
11. I feel a slight ache on the running down the right side of my tummy whenever I'm not sitting in the right posture. Backaches are thankfully a minimum at this point and hopefully stays that way.
12. My right foot has started to swell! Guess this is the start of water retention in 3rd trimester - I just hope my legs/feet wouldn't look too ugly with the passing weeks.
13. My belly button has protuded to its maximum. I was previously pretty apprehensive about the poppingbelly button, and while I'm still not a big fan of it showing underneath my clothes, I'm less oblivious to it than a few months back.
14. My baby's kicks are stronger and more frequent, especially around bedtime. The kicks are sometimes uncomfortable, e.g. when he seems to kick against some organ or near my belly button. Sometimes, my tummy just trembles when baby moves - and I'm getting used to it.
15. I think I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions. My tummy will just harden suddenly for a couple of seconds before relaxing again. It's a little uncomfortable when this happens while I'm walking. I usually have to walk a bit slower when this happens.
16. I still think I'm not catching enough winks. Nowadays, my body clock automatically wakes me up after about 6 hours of sleep, and its abit difficult to fall asleep after that, although I'm still feeling tired. This makes me exhausted especially during weekdays cos I have to get up for work about an hour later - so I lose about 1 hour of sleep, sighz.
17. I managed to indulge in the luxury of sleep over the past 2 days, and reckon that 9 hours of sleep (including the sleepless interval after about 6 hours) is what I need daily. But that means I've to go to bed by 10:15pm every night! Not sure how I'm going to manage that.
18. I currently hit the washroom just once a night - so not that bad. Hopefully stays this way.
19. I'm starting to be more appreciative of the peaceful quiet moments I have a home and the flexibility I have in my daily schedule, wary that things are going to change drastically after 2 months. Now, I can choose to sleep in on weekends, stay up late watching TV, decide to go shopping with no prior planning. In future, I'll probably have work my schedule around my baby, spend more time planning ahead, spend more time home (at least in the 1st year), miss the days I can sleep in - I'll probably be busier having to take care of my little one but believe it will be a different kind of happiness with baby around. Home will never be as quiet, hopefully it will still be as neat as it is now =)
20. The actual delivery process has been a concern for me. I'm still not sure whether I should have epidural, but it will definitely be a back-up option for me. I'm also abit apprehensive about episotomy - sounds scary to be honest. But I'm grateful that God has been with me every stage of my pregnancy and by His grace, it has been a smooth preganancy so far. And I know He will continue to be there with me every step of the way - for the remaining 2 months of my pregnancy, during my delivery, and post-delivery. He will hold my hand and be there, and I am extremely grateful and thankful for His presence in my life.
21. It has been my prayer that my baby will be perfectly healthy and fit. And by God's grace, my baby will be a beautiful, intelligent, healthy baby - created in the exact manner God wants - and he will always be filled with God's love, joy, peace - priceless gifts that can only come from the Creator. I trust in God to continue His good work of moulding and sculpting my little baby in me, and pray that little J will grow up to be a man who loves God and to be someone who will be a blessing to all around him.
Overall, I am definitely larger and heavier. Probably a drastic difference from 7 months ago, but not too shocking because the changes and weight gain came in gradually. It doesn't feel that bad to be bulkier and slower in my movements - I just feel the need to be extra careful. Energy levels are lower than previously, I find it more difficult to wear my pants or soap my feet, and despite my right foot looking pretty ugly with the swell, I'm still grateful for this gift from God =)
Yup, my baby is going to be a boy - my initial instincts told me so, my grandma gave her verdict via her apparently accurate and traditional manner of computation, my gynae literally guaranteed the gender during one of the regular ultrasounds, the nurse doing my 2nd trimester scan confirmed it, and colleagues are also pretty sure from the visual inspection of my "pointed" tummy =)
With me trying to squeeze in as much sleep as I can on weekday nights (though not too successfully) in the past months, and just having jam-packed weekends visiting friends, running errands, baby-shopping, I just didn't have time to blog. Fortunately today is a lazy Monday and I'm on leave, so decided to blog abit.
So exactly how do I feel at 7 months of pregnancy? Here are my random load of emotions and thoughts:
1. I'm heavy - having gained 12kg from my pre-pregnancy days.
2. The weight is making my movements slower and clumsier - from getting out of bed, getting out of the chair, and even walking. I can no longer walk as fast as I used to, but I think I'm still walking at a decent pace.
3. Climbing stairs is making me breathless! Walking on flat ground is still fine, but just climbing up the multi-storey carpark at my place is enough to send me gasping for air. But ironically, I kinda appreciate the short climbs cos feeling slightly breathless actually makes me feel like I've exercised and hence, a teeny weeny bit healthier.
4. I'm still sticking to my 15min of cycling and 15min of treadmill/cross-trainer at the gym, twice a week. This is a lot less than I used to exercise, but well, I guess it's better than not exercising at all.
5. I've not run in a long time. Not that I miss it, but I sometimes wonder how exhausting my 1st post-pregnancy jog will be.
6. I can no longer fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes - the cirumference of my belly is a cool 100cm. At home, I prefer to wear night dresses, cos my home shorts are way too uncomfortable. When dressing to go out, I can forget about my pre-pregnancy denim wear. I have to don maternity tops/bottoms or really baggy pre-pregnancy clothes. Although I can still squeeze into some stretchy pre-pregnancy clothes, I am a bit more selective so as to avoid overstretching them.
7. With 2 heartbeats in me, I'm feeling less cold than I used to. I've not touched my jackets in a long time - just a cardigan or shawl is usually sufficient to keep me comfortable in office.
8. No haircut or any form of hair indulgence since I found out I was pregnant. I'm growing my fringe for convenience during my confinement, and my hair is pretty long - reaching about half the length of my back. I'll probably head for a haircut a couple of weeks before I'm due. In the meantime, I neaten my messy wavy tresses using hairclips.
9. My bone structure has expanded - tremendously. From a pre-pregnancy size S, I reckon between size M and L now =( The most obvious difference comes from the use of bra extenders when wearing my pre-pregnancy undergarments.
10. My hubby and I are almost done with all the baby-shopping. Bought most of the big baby items, with a few miscellaneous items (e.g. more nappies, nappy liners, diapers, more wet wipes, nappy rash cream) to go.
11. I feel a slight ache on the running down the right side of my tummy whenever I'm not sitting in the right posture. Backaches are thankfully a minimum at this point and hopefully stays that way.
12. My right foot has started to swell! Guess this is the start of water retention in 3rd trimester - I just hope my legs/feet wouldn't look too ugly with the passing weeks.
13. My belly button has protuded to its maximum. I was previously pretty apprehensive about the poppingbelly button, and while I'm still not a big fan of it showing underneath my clothes, I'm less oblivious to it than a few months back.
14. My baby's kicks are stronger and more frequent, especially around bedtime. The kicks are sometimes uncomfortable, e.g. when he seems to kick against some organ or near my belly button. Sometimes, my tummy just trembles when baby moves - and I'm getting used to it.
15. I think I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions. My tummy will just harden suddenly for a couple of seconds before relaxing again. It's a little uncomfortable when this happens while I'm walking. I usually have to walk a bit slower when this happens.
16. I still think I'm not catching enough winks. Nowadays, my body clock automatically wakes me up after about 6 hours of sleep, and its abit difficult to fall asleep after that, although I'm still feeling tired. This makes me exhausted especially during weekdays cos I have to get up for work about an hour later - so I lose about 1 hour of sleep, sighz.
17. I managed to indulge in the luxury of sleep over the past 2 days, and reckon that 9 hours of sleep (including the sleepless interval after about 6 hours) is what I need daily. But that means I've to go to bed by 10:15pm every night! Not sure how I'm going to manage that.
18. I currently hit the washroom just once a night - so not that bad. Hopefully stays this way.
19. I'm starting to be more appreciative of the peaceful quiet moments I have a home and the flexibility I have in my daily schedule, wary that things are going to change drastically after 2 months. Now, I can choose to sleep in on weekends, stay up late watching TV, decide to go shopping with no prior planning. In future, I'll probably have work my schedule around my baby, spend more time planning ahead, spend more time home (at least in the 1st year), miss the days I can sleep in - I'll probably be busier having to take care of my little one but believe it will be a different kind of happiness with baby around. Home will never be as quiet, hopefully it will still be as neat as it is now =)
20. The actual delivery process has been a concern for me. I'm still not sure whether I should have epidural, but it will definitely be a back-up option for me. I'm also abit apprehensive about episotomy - sounds scary to be honest. But I'm grateful that God has been with me every stage of my pregnancy and by His grace, it has been a smooth preganancy so far. And I know He will continue to be there with me every step of the way - for the remaining 2 months of my pregnancy, during my delivery, and post-delivery. He will hold my hand and be there, and I am extremely grateful and thankful for His presence in my life.
21. It has been my prayer that my baby will be perfectly healthy and fit. And by God's grace, my baby will be a beautiful, intelligent, healthy baby - created in the exact manner God wants - and he will always be filled with God's love, joy, peace - priceless gifts that can only come from the Creator. I trust in God to continue His good work of moulding and sculpting my little baby in me, and pray that little J will grow up to be a man who loves God and to be someone who will be a blessing to all around him.
Overall, I am definitely larger and heavier. Probably a drastic difference from 7 months ago, but not too shocking because the changes and weight gain came in gradually. It doesn't feel that bad to be bulkier and slower in my movements - I just feel the need to be extra careful. Energy levels are lower than previously, I find it more difficult to wear my pants or soap my feet, and despite my right foot looking pretty ugly with the swell, I'm still grateful for this gift from God =)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
9 weeks - Pretty the Same
A slight bulge has emerged - is it the baby (seems unlikely cos baby is still less than 2cm big), part of the uterus expansion, or just pure bloatedness? Gas is a pregnant woman's foe - sighz, with the bloatedness and the burpz, its difficult to feel pretty.
Not much has changed from the 8th week. I still can't pass the day without yawning several times and wishing I am resting in bed at home instead of me working away on my office laptop. And the bad news - it seems my work is piling up - boss has already requested that we go back next Sat to work! Arghh....it really ain't easy managing pregnancy and work. Yet work is inevitable if I want to ensure that I can provide the best for the little one growing in me right?
I have resumed my gym sessions, but only cycling, walking and stretching - the low-impact type of activities. Goodbye to gym classes, sit-ups and running on the treadmill! Despite my lethargy, I find that exercising really does help to perk one's spirits! I feel healthier, more assured that I won't be gaining the wrong kind of weight, and optimistic that my body will be fit and strong to handle the stresses of pregnancy.
And oh, my hubby and I have kinda decided on the Christian names for our baby. Boy will be J--, Girl will be called K--. Still subject to changes because I want to make sure that these names not only sound nice, but are meaningful. To me, a name represents the hope that parents have for their child and who they want their child to be. The name must also be chosen with sensitivity so that child will not be subject to brutal teasing from friends in future. The names seem perfect for now, but let's see...
To my little J/K: My biggest wish and prayer for you is that you will be well-nourished, that you will develop healthily, and by God's grace, you will be a healthy and happy baby who is entirely free from health issues and birth defects.
Not much has changed from the 8th week. I still can't pass the day without yawning several times and wishing I am resting in bed at home instead of me working away on my office laptop. And the bad news - it seems my work is piling up - boss has already requested that we go back next Sat to work! Arghh....it really ain't easy managing pregnancy and work. Yet work is inevitable if I want to ensure that I can provide the best for the little one growing in me right?
I have resumed my gym sessions, but only cycling, walking and stretching - the low-impact type of activities. Goodbye to gym classes, sit-ups and running on the treadmill! Despite my lethargy, I find that exercising really does help to perk one's spirits! I feel healthier, more assured that I won't be gaining the wrong kind of weight, and optimistic that my body will be fit and strong to handle the stresses of pregnancy.
And oh, my hubby and I have kinda decided on the Christian names for our baby. Boy will be J--, Girl will be called K--. Still subject to changes because I want to make sure that these names not only sound nice, but are meaningful. To me, a name represents the hope that parents have for their child and who they want their child to be. The name must also be chosen with sensitivity so that child will not be subject to brutal teasing from friends in future. The names seem perfect for now, but let's see...
To my little J/K: My biggest wish and prayer for you is that you will be well-nourished, that you will develop healthily, and by God's grace, you will be a healthy and happy baby who is entirely free from health issues and birth defects.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
8 weeks
Feeling more nauseous than usual, and the lethargy continues. No weight gain so far, and tummy is just a slight bulge.
Have finally recovered from the cold, and am still continuing with large (compared to the past) servings of fruits to strengthen my immunity. My refrigerator has never been so well-stocked up with fruits =P I am also hoping to resume some exercise because I feel so unhealthy without exercise.
Good news is this is the week from which my baby is officially a fetus!
http://www.babycenter.com.sg/stages/0108
A visit to the gynae on Sat confirmed it - I can see the head of my baby! Baby has grown to 1.66cm now:
Have finally recovered from the cold, and am still continuing with large (compared to the past) servings of fruits to strengthen my immunity. My refrigerator has never been so well-stocked up with fruits =P I am also hoping to resume some exercise because I feel so unhealthy without exercise.
Good news is this is the week from which my baby is officially a fetus!
http://www.babycenter.com.sg/stages/0108
A visit to the gynae on Sat confirmed it - I can see the head of my baby! Baby has grown to 1.66cm now:
Baby at 6 weeks
Baby at 8 weeks
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Changes - 7th week
Caught a cold and sore throat over the weekend. My usual remedy would be to pop a clarinase, take my 'xiang4 sang1 ju1' and lotsa green tea, topped up with starfruit. But I suddenly realised these are no-nos when one is pregnant!
Pregnant ladies are supposed to avoid consuming medication and cooling stuff, right? So I have been loading on lotsa honey-lemon and fruits instead. For the first time in my life, I am relying on natural remedies to fight my ills.
It has been 4 days - my sore throat is kinda gone, but the cold is still lingering. Still praying for divine healing and I will feed on more antioxidant fruits later. Hopefully I will feel well enough for work tomorrow. Sighz, it doesn't help that office is freezing.
The other big changes are that I no longer slap on huge amounts of body moisturiser and I that have turned more product-organic. A friend of mine has advised that products containing paraben and phthalates are harmful. Found a website with similar information.
http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/pregnancy/chemicals_in_pregnancy.asp
It is awful that many cosmetics products contain harmful ingredients, and while the less harmful ones may be seemingly better for health, they hurt the pocket with their exorbitant prices. I used to be an Olay fan and Total Effects cost me just over S$20. I've now switched to Dr Hauschka Rose Day Light Cream which cost me S$60. My daily facial regular regime (excluding the serums and masks) cost me at least S$150, whereas in the past I paid less than S$50.
For the sake of the little one in me, I am now using organic body wash, body oil, facial cleanser, toner, moisturiser, body deodorant. Unfortunately, I haven't found a good organic sunscreen, although I have switched to Clarins which apparently doesn't contain the 2 abovementioned chemicals. My eye cream, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, hand soap, lip balm remain un-organic...and I am trying not to care. As for my daily handcream, I'm still in transition stage i.e. trying to finish up my current unorganic one since the tube is finishing up anyway.
Personally, I think it is more important that items which stay on one's body should not contain harmful products.
But I also realised that even specialists may have different views. A friend of mine who is also pregnant mentioned to me that her gynae recommended her to use QV cream for her eczema. My hubby uses the exact same cream, so I checked the ingredients and it contains paraben! I warned her about it, but she is comfortable using it because it is recommended by her gynae. Her gynae told her to avoid lipstick though.
I think the ultimate aim for every pregnant lady is to do their best for their little one(s) to develop healthily and be given the opportunity to start life in the pink of health.
Caring for my little one has started even though my little one is still less than a centimetre long. Other than avoiding medication and using more organic products, I also make sure I eat proper meals, consumer more fruits and sleep earlier. Above all, I pray daily for my little one now - where grace used to be a quick prayer to thank God for the food and for the food to nourish me and myself, I now pray that the food I consume nourish my little one too. I am trying my best (the only thing beyond my control is my long work hours), and thankfully I know God knows.
Well, there is a long National Day weekend coming up, and my hubby is going for a trekking trip which I had to give up because of my current condition. So while I will be sadly home alone, I will also be able to get plenty of rest, and hopefully do some light reading. Am looking forward to the weekend already =)
Pregnant ladies are supposed to avoid consuming medication and cooling stuff, right? So I have been loading on lotsa honey-lemon and fruits instead. For the first time in my life, I am relying on natural remedies to fight my ills.
It has been 4 days - my sore throat is kinda gone, but the cold is still lingering. Still praying for divine healing and I will feed on more antioxidant fruits later. Hopefully I will feel well enough for work tomorrow. Sighz, it doesn't help that office is freezing.
The other big changes are that I no longer slap on huge amounts of body moisturiser and I that have turned more product-organic. A friend of mine has advised that products containing paraben and phthalates are harmful. Found a website with similar information.
http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/pregnancy/chemicals_in_pregnancy.asp
It is awful that many cosmetics products contain harmful ingredients, and while the less harmful ones may be seemingly better for health, they hurt the pocket with their exorbitant prices. I used to be an Olay fan and Total Effects cost me just over S$20. I've now switched to Dr Hauschka Rose Day Light Cream which cost me S$60. My daily facial regular regime (excluding the serums and masks) cost me at least S$150, whereas in the past I paid less than S$50.
For the sake of the little one in me, I am now using organic body wash, body oil, facial cleanser, toner, moisturiser, body deodorant. Unfortunately, I haven't found a good organic sunscreen, although I have switched to Clarins which apparently doesn't contain the 2 abovementioned chemicals. My eye cream, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, hand soap, lip balm remain un-organic...and I am trying not to care. As for my daily handcream, I'm still in transition stage i.e. trying to finish up my current unorganic one since the tube is finishing up anyway.
Personally, I think it is more important that items which stay on one's body should not contain harmful products.
But I also realised that even specialists may have different views. A friend of mine who is also pregnant mentioned to me that her gynae recommended her to use QV cream for her eczema. My hubby uses the exact same cream, so I checked the ingredients and it contains paraben! I warned her about it, but she is comfortable using it because it is recommended by her gynae. Her gynae told her to avoid lipstick though.
I think the ultimate aim for every pregnant lady is to do their best for their little one(s) to develop healthily and be given the opportunity to start life in the pink of health.
Caring for my little one has started even though my little one is still less than a centimetre long. Other than avoiding medication and using more organic products, I also make sure I eat proper meals, consumer more fruits and sleep earlier. Above all, I pray daily for my little one now - where grace used to be a quick prayer to thank God for the food and for the food to nourish me and myself, I now pray that the food I consume nourish my little one too. I am trying my best (the only thing beyond my control is my long work hours), and thankfully I know God knows.
Well, there is a long National Day weekend coming up, and my hubby is going for a trekking trip which I had to give up because of my current condition. So while I will be sadly home alone, I will also be able to get plenty of rest, and hopefully do some light reading. Am looking forward to the weekend already =)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
God's Gift - 6th week
Babies are God's gifts. Some parents may disagree, especially in the midst of their baby wailing away and exhaustion from lack of sleep.
But I believe babies are God's gifts. A human life forming in the mother's womb - God sees to every detail of the baby's development.
I was always afraid of pregnancy - the weight gain and the labour pain, especially. And my sole reason for wanting children was purely for company during my older years.
But in the past year, my perception has changed somewhat. As I see my friends having children, I begin to realise the joy and purpose babies can bring to their parents. And I realised it may be not that easy to even conceive. And when I had the opportunity to hold a baby in my arms, I realised at that moment that I had the capacity to love a baby who was my own. So in my heart, I knew God was preparing me for a different lifestyle that will mean putting another life above my own. And I knew, that in His own perfect timing, God will bestow me with the gift of a little life that I will have to nurture and care for.
So a first pregnancy kit test on 13 Jul 09 showed negative results (actually there was a faint 2nd line, implying a possibly positive result - but I missed that out). But in my heart, I felt that the results were wrong. A visit to the GP on 16 Jul 09 confirmed I had minor gastritis, and the GP said I couldn't be pregnant despite my burping and feelings of nauseousness. I took one dosage of the medicine the GP gave me and stopped - because I was still unconvinced. My instincts were telling me otherwise, so I just wanted to play it safe.
Then on 23 Jul 09, I decided to try another pregnancy kit in order to allay my concerns. As I saw the 2 lines developing (positive results), I was stunned. My instincts had told me I was pregnant, but still I could not believe it. The initial shock lasted for a couple of minutes before a bit of ecstasy took over. There goes my Mt Kinabalu hiking trip during National Day, but hey, a life is forming within me! I then paid a visit to the GP (a different one of course), who confirmed the positive results.
And then today, my first visit to the gynae. I am officially about 6 weeks pregnant, and my little baby is just 0.46cm. And I could see the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound machine - it was amazing! A little heart thumping away in me. This marks the start of a new journey for me. I don't know how the next 9 months will unfold - but I trust God to take care of my baby and I pray that my baby will grow and develop healthily. I will do my part to the best of my ability (eating well, trying to get lotsa rest where possible, and cutting down my exercises to walks).
I have never said this, but I have learnt that God has given me a gift - the gift of responsibility. It probably sounds a bit odd when the bible quotes about other gifts e.g. healing, prophesy, miracles, etc.. My gift is responsibility. I tend to naturally want to do everything to the best of my ability because I know I have the responsibility to perform every task well. And I am now given the responsibility to keep myself in the pink of health for my baby's sake, and in the future, I will be responsible for nurturing my little boy/girl into someone who fears and loves God.
God has His in own ways, matured and changed me so that I am willing to accept the responsibility and the gift He has bestowed me with. Indeed, He makes all things beautiful in His own time.
But I believe babies are God's gifts. A human life forming in the mother's womb - God sees to every detail of the baby's development.
I was always afraid of pregnancy - the weight gain and the labour pain, especially. And my sole reason for wanting children was purely for company during my older years.
But in the past year, my perception has changed somewhat. As I see my friends having children, I begin to realise the joy and purpose babies can bring to their parents. And I realised it may be not that easy to even conceive. And when I had the opportunity to hold a baby in my arms, I realised at that moment that I had the capacity to love a baby who was my own. So in my heart, I knew God was preparing me for a different lifestyle that will mean putting another life above my own. And I knew, that in His own perfect timing, God will bestow me with the gift of a little life that I will have to nurture and care for.
So a first pregnancy kit test on 13 Jul 09 showed negative results (actually there was a faint 2nd line, implying a possibly positive result - but I missed that out). But in my heart, I felt that the results were wrong. A visit to the GP on 16 Jul 09 confirmed I had minor gastritis, and the GP said I couldn't be pregnant despite my burping and feelings of nauseousness. I took one dosage of the medicine the GP gave me and stopped - because I was still unconvinced. My instincts were telling me otherwise, so I just wanted to play it safe.
Then on 23 Jul 09, I decided to try another pregnancy kit in order to allay my concerns. As I saw the 2 lines developing (positive results), I was stunned. My instincts had told me I was pregnant, but still I could not believe it. The initial shock lasted for a couple of minutes before a bit of ecstasy took over. There goes my Mt Kinabalu hiking trip during National Day, but hey, a life is forming within me! I then paid a visit to the GP (a different one of course), who confirmed the positive results.
And then today, my first visit to the gynae. I am officially about 6 weeks pregnant, and my little baby is just 0.46cm. And I could see the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound machine - it was amazing! A little heart thumping away in me. This marks the start of a new journey for me. I don't know how the next 9 months will unfold - but I trust God to take care of my baby and I pray that my baby will grow and develop healthily. I will do my part to the best of my ability (eating well, trying to get lotsa rest where possible, and cutting down my exercises to walks).
I have never said this, but I have learnt that God has given me a gift - the gift of responsibility. It probably sounds a bit odd when the bible quotes about other gifts e.g. healing, prophesy, miracles, etc.. My gift is responsibility. I tend to naturally want to do everything to the best of my ability because I know I have the responsibility to perform every task well. And I am now given the responsibility to keep myself in the pink of health for my baby's sake, and in the future, I will be responsible for nurturing my little boy/girl into someone who fears and loves God.
God has His in own ways, matured and changed me so that I am willing to accept the responsibility and the gift He has bestowed me with. Indeed, He makes all things beautiful in His own time.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139: 13-16
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