A Huge Decision

7 Nov 2011

Today marks the day on which A and I made a huge decision. In less than 24 hours, we made up our minds to commit our lives to it.

It was love at first sight - halfway through the introduction I knew this was for us. And we were not even actively looking. I guess love has a way of knocking on your door without you looking for it.

For someone who is extremely particular with design and style, I was willing to overlook the imperfections and focus on the attractive attributes - location and price.

For the rational me who would usually think umpteen times before taking the plunge, we made THE decision in less than 8 hours. 18 hours after the first introduction, we made our decision official.

I am extremely grateful for the advice and support from my family members, which reaffirmed our decision.

For the first time in many years, I think I will probably live on bread and milo for the next few months. And my online shopping will have to come to a hiatus - and I just came across two dresses I simply adore! The only exception will be J - I will continue to pay for what I deem as essentials for him, although I will have to think twice before buying that toy.

I am eagerly looking forward to my payday - I have never been as excited. Because every cent counts. We'll just need to settle the initial payment and the rest should be fine, by God's grace. I am thankful and very blessed that I have the opportunity to make this decision. It was a quick decision, but not a hasty one, I hope.

For the many months to come, I will have to learn to exercise self-discipline when it comes to shopping and try to save up as much as I can. Holidays will probably be taboo - but I still hope to bring my little J traveling - we'll see how. To me, J comes first. Whatever is best for him. While the next few years may be a little hard on us, I believe J will benefit from our decision plus A really likes it - which makes it all worth it.

Maids - Again

I am on my way to changing my maid again. This would be the fourth time this year, and apparently if I exceed four changes a year, I would be called up for a counselling session by MOM.

The first maid was clever and started to cut corners after a month or so. She wanted to go back home under the excuse she had to sell her land to pay for her brother's wedding. We think she probably found out that the salary for other Indonesian maids had increased.

The second woman, whom I don't even want to think about, was a huge mistake. I don't see how other households can tolerate her for the medium-term.

My current third one, completely new from Indonesia, is a bit slow but her attitude is alright. But she has the bad habit of repeating mistakes...one day she would get it right and the next time she would get it wrong. She is afraid of the dark and wanted to sleep with the lights switched on her first night. When I left her to stay with my in-laws for a few days, she was afraid to sleep alone and waited till my in-laws were home. She doesn't like to eat instant noodles and wants rice for all meals. If she is already getting simple things wrong, no way am I going to allow her to cook her own meals. Both my mum-in-law and I are so frustrated with her.

After working with us for about 1.5 months, she wanted to transfer, probably because I scolded her for repeating a mistake when she got it right previously. We were fine with that, especially since it has been so frustrating trying to correct the mistakes of someone who does not understand me.

I decided I would avoid reprimanding her since she was leaving soon. But I had to give her a piece of my mind two Fridays ago. For the last few weeks, I noticed that undergarment looked out-of-shape and I attributed it to them being worn out from normal wear and tear. I even asked my mum-in-law to demonstrate to her again how to wash them and reminded her to wash them carefully. But on Friday morning I realised a particular piece looked really distorted, so I went to check the rest and noticed that even a relatively new one was out-of-shape. I asked my mum-in-law and she told me she had the same experience as me. And then we found out she had not been washing in the manner we instructed her to.

The solution now is to wash them myself because for some reason, she cannot register our instructions. For the next few days, I also had to check how she was hanging my laundry and noticed that she did not take care in hanging my undergarment out to dry. And I had just reminded her and shown her how to do it the day before.

Just last Friday, I was so stressed out from reprimanding her. I was rearranging some stuff in the kitchen cabinet when I realised kaya was smeared on the inside of my cabinet door. I checked and realised that she had opened and consumed a new jar of kaya even though she had not finished her jam. She explained that the jam was sweet and caused her gum to hurt. To me, it is a lousy reason because kaya also contains sugar and she could have just consumed her bread with butter. Moreover, I never told her that jar of kaya was for her consumption. And I have also told her that she has to refrigerate her bread spread after opening. Otherwise, she would get a stomachache. So she probably never understood me, or she is just finding excuses. After she went back to sleep, I found out that my washed bedsheet was still in the washing machine. So I woke her up to hang the laundry.

This is the type of maid I am facing and I do not have the energy or time to be checking on her everyday. I can't wait to kick her out of my place. I cannot even trust her to wash or hang my clothes properly even though we have shown her how to do it a few times. And all she is responsible for is housework - she doesn't even help to cook or take care of my son. Isn't that easy enough?

I admit I am not the most patient person around. But I was never harsh with my first maid. For this third one, she just finds things to ignite my temper. And even my mother-in-law is frustrated, so her quality of work speaks for itself. As it is, my maid seems to be in poor health and always have a health issue every few weeks. She initially complained of weak legs from eating instant noodles, and then she had dizzy spells, followed by cough. Most recently she complained of painful gums, and just a few days ago she fainted (she claimed it was because she ate bee hoon, not rice for lunch). All in 2 months, and her appetite has grown so much she eats more than me already. On hindsight I think I made the right choice to change maid. I just hope she does not faint again before my new maid arrives.

I think I would be happier without a maid. But I also recognize without a maid, I will have to perform daily chores which would take my time away from J. I just hope my next maid will be better...after having three Indonesian maids, the next one is a Filipino. I suppose there will be pros and cons, but at least I am assured our level of communication would be much better. Let's wait and see...

Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

I do not know Steve Jobs personally, but his talent has touched the world and impacted our way of life so tremendously, I feel a sense of melancholy as if I did know him. I am inspired by his passion, positive attitude to life and boundless creativity. He is definitely someone very special and created by God to touch the world in a very special way. I sincerely hope he is at a better place and he will definitely be remembered for many many years to come.

I read the following article on yahoo today...it's an irony how we get to know more about a person after the person is gone. From the article, I caught a glimpse of his imperfections, but at the same time, the love he has for his family.

9 things you didn’t know about the life of Steve Jobs

For all of his years in the spotlight at the helm of Apple, Steve Jobs in many ways remains an inscrutable figure — even in his death. Fiercely private, Jobs concealed most specifics about his personal life, from his curious family life to the details of his battle with pancreatic cancer — a disease that ultimately claimed him on Wednesday, at the age of 56.

While the CEO and co-founder of Apple steered most interviews away from the public fascination with his private life, there's plenty we know about Jobs the person, beyond the Mac and the iPhone. If anything, the obscure details of his interior life paint a subtler, more nuanced portrait of how one of the finest technology minds of our time grew into the dynamo that we remember him as today.

1. Early life and childhood
Jobs was born in San Francisco on February 24, 1955. He was adopted shortly after his birth and reared near Mountain View, California by a couple named Clara and Paul Jobs. His adoptive father — a term that Jobs openly objected to — was a machinist for a laser company and his mother worked as an accountant.

Later in life, Jobs discovered the identities of his estranged parents. His birth mother, Joanne Simpson, was a graduate student at the time and later a speech pathologist; his biological father, Abdulfattah John Jandali, was a Syrian Muslim who left the country at age 18 and reportedly now serves as the vice president of a Reno, Nevada casino. While Jobs reconnected with Simpson in later years, he and his biological father remained estranged.

2. College dropout
The lead mind behind the most successful company on the planet never graduated from college, in fact, he didn't even get close. After graduating from high school in Cupertino, California — a town now synonymous with 1 Infinite Loop, Apple's headquarters — Jobs enrolled in Reed College in 1972. Jobs stayed at Reed (a liberal arts university in Portland, Oregon) for only one semester, dropping out quickly due to the financial burden the private school's steep tuition placed on his parents.

In his famous 2005 commencement speech to Stanford University, Jobs said of his time at Reed: "It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5 cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple."

3. Fibbed to his Apple co-founder about a job at Atari
Jobs is well known for his innovations in personal computing, mobile tech, and software, but he also helped create one of the best known video games of all-time. In 1975, Jobs was tapped by Atari to work on the Pong-like game Breakout.

He was reportedly offered $750 for his development work, with the possibility of an extra $100 for each chip eliminated from the game's final design. Jobs recruited Steve Wozniak (later one of Apple's other founders) to help him with the challenge. Wozniak managed to whittle the prototype's design down so much that Atari paid out a $5,000 bonus — but Jobs kept the bonus for himself, and paid his unsuspecting friend only $375, according to Wozniak's own autobiography.

4. The wife he leaves behind
Like the rest of his family life, Jobs kept his marriage out of the public eye. Thinking back on his legacy conjures images of him commanding the stage in his trademark black turtleneck and jeans, and those solo moments are his most iconic. But at home in Palo Alto, Jobs was raising a family with his wife, Laurene, an entrepreneur who attended the University of Pennsylvania's prestigious Wharton business school and later received her MBA at Stanford, where she first met her future husband.

For all of his single-minded dedication to the company he built from the ground up, Jobs actually skipped a meeting to take Laurene on their first date: "I was in the parking lot with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, 'If this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman?' I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she'd have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we've been together ever since."

In 1991, Jobs and Powell were married in the Ahwahnee Hotel at Yosemite National Park, and the marriage was officiated by Kobin Chino, a Zen Buddhist monk.

5. His sister is a famous author
Later in his life, Jobs crossed paths with his biological sister while seeking the identity of his birth parents. His sister, Mona Simpson (born Mona Jandali), is the well-known author of Anywhere But Here — a story about a mother and daughter that was later adapted into a film starring Natalie Portman and Susan Sarandon.

After reuniting, Jobs and Simpson developed a close relationship. Of his sister, he told a New York Times interviewer: "We're family. She's one of my best friends in the world. I call her and talk to her every couple of days.'' Anywhere But Here is dedicated to "my brother Steve."

6. Celebrity romances
In The Second Coming of Steve Jobs, an unauthorized biography, a friend from Reed reveals that Jobs had a brief fling with folk singer Joan Baez. Baez confirmed the the two were close "briefly," though her romantic connection with Bob Dylan is much better known (Dylan was the Apple icon's favorite musician). The biography also notes that Jobs went out with actress Diane Keaton briefly.

7. His first daughter
When he was 23, Jobs and his high school girlfriend Chris Ann Brennan conceived a daughter, Lisa Brennan Jobs. She was born in 1978, just as Apple began picking up steam in the tech world. He and Brennan never married, and Jobs reportedly denied paternity for some time, going as far as stating that he was sterile in court documents. He went on to father three more children with Laurene Powell. After later mending their relationship, Jobs paid for his first daughter's education at Harvard. She graduated in 2000 and now works as a magazine writer.

8. Alternative lifestyle
In a few interviews, Jobs hinted at his early experience with the psychedelic drug LSD. Of Microsoft founder Bill Gates, Jobs said: "I wish him the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He'd be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger."

The connection has enough weight that Albert Hofmann, the Swiss scientist who first synthesized (and took) LSD, appealed to Jobs for funding for research about the drug's therapeutic use.

In a book interview, Jobs called his experience with the drug "one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life." As Jobs himself has suggested, LSD may have contributed to the "think different" approach that still puts Apple's designs a head above the competition.

Jobs will forever be a visionary, and his personal life also reflects the forward-thinking, alternative approach that vaulted Apple to success. During a trip to India, Jobs visited a well-known ashram and returned to the U.S. as a Zen Buddhist.

Jobs was also a pescetarian who didn't consume most animal products, and didn't eat meat other than fish. A strong believer in Eastern medicine, he sought to treat his own cancer through alternative approaches and specialized diets before reluctantly seeking his first surgery for a cancerous tumor in 2004.

9. His fortune
As the CEO of the world's most valuable brand, Jobs pulled in a comically low annual salary of just $1. While the gesture isn't unheard of in the corporate world — Google's Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt all pocketed the same 100 penny salary annually — Jobs has kept his salary at $1 since 1997, the year he became Apple's lead executive. Of his salary, Jobs joked in 2007: "I get 50 cents a year for showing up, and the other 50 cents is based on my performance."

In early 2011, Jobs owned 5.5 million shares of Apple. After his death, Apple shares were valued at $377.64 — a roughly 43-fold growth in valuation over the last 10 years that shows no signs of slowing down.

He may only have taken in a single dollar per year, but Jobs leaves behind a vast fortune. The largest chunk of that wealth is the roughly $7 billion from the sale of Pixar to Disney in 2006. In 2011, with an estimated net worth of $8.3 billion, he was the 110th richest person in the world, according to Forbes. If Jobs hadn't sold his shares upon leaving Apple in 1985 (before returning to the company in 1996), he would be the world's fifth richest individual.

While there's no word yet on plans for his estate, Jobs leaves behind three children from his marriage to Laurene Jobs (Reed, Erin, and Eve), as well as his first daughter, Lisa Brennan-Jobs.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/8-things-didn-t-know-life-steve-jobs-172130955.html

Shoes - An Update

Finally had my shoes back after 1.5 months of waiting. Width of shoes still felt a bit tight - an ominous sign.

Day 1 of wearing my artificially expanded shoes - Horrible. Heels and both sides of my feet were abraded. It was so painful I had to use plasters on the heels and bear the rest of the soreness.  Shoes that ill-treat my feet like this will usually be given the cold shoulder and left to rust and decay in my shoe cabinet. But not this pair given the amount it costs me - I must persevere! 

Day 2 - Still quite bad. I now have a blister on the right heel and it hurts just walking in the shoes. Plasters to the rescue again and I ended up in flip-flops most of the day.

Day 3 - Shoes are still abrading my sides a bit. But my heels feel fine. Not the most comfortable pair of shoes but at least it is now wearable.

Day 4 - Shoes still feel a bit tight, but yay, no more plasters! 

A week later - My shoes took a 5-day break at home as I brought my trusty crocs overseas for a holiday. When my feet met the shoes again, the hard leather felt foreign and uncomfortable compared to the soft cushioning of my crocs (I just need crocs to design gorgeous shoes for work!). Nevertheless, my feet adjusted after a while and I survived a 10-hour workday with my shoes.

So this whirlwind relationship continues...but at least now I am assured of a long-term (though slightly uncomfortable) relationship with my shoes :)

Shoes

A person's outfit and accessories can give great insights to a person's personality. For instance, I can usually tell whether a person loves dressing up from her choice of footwear. The more practical ladies are usually in pumps or flats, whereas the fashionistas can be found in towering stilettos suitable only for the runway and nowhere else.

Despite shoes being one of the least conspicuous accessory, I personally believe it is the one accessory worth splurging on.  With my many experiences with blisters and sore feet from wearing ill-fitting shoes, I have learnt that the quality of my shoes can make or break my day.  And I have also learnt the hard way that branded shoes do not necessarily mean quality shoes.

During my recent trip to Italy, I decided to splurge on 2 pairs of leather shoes from a brand raved by most as having very comfortable shoes.

I was extremely thrilled with my purchase of 2 pairs of gorgeous shoes. But my excitement turned into frustration within an hour my feet met my new shoes.  Even though I bought half-a-size larger than my usual shoe size, the shoes gave me blisters and squeezed my feet till it hurt just standing in my shoes (and I was already wearing stockings to reduce the friction).

I decided to bring the pair of shoes to the local boutique in Singapore.  The saleslady told me that the shoes I purchased in Italy were of "C" cut, and the Asian boutiques usually carried "D" cuts to fit the broader Asian feet.  I tried the "D" cut and the shoes were evidently looser.

As I had another pair of "C" cut shoes I have not worn, I asked if I could exchange it for a "D" cut.  The answer was negative, as the Asian boutiques usually did not carry "C" cut shoes.  The saleslady explained that the local boutiques were only partly owned by the original owners and they could not accept cuts/designs they did not sell.

So there I am...after forking out a mean sum for branded luxury shoes, I am stuck with shoes that don't fit me. It is a wonder why non-luxury brands can accord good exchange/refund policies to customers, but not that luxury brand -particularly when it is obvious the customer is paying a high premium not only for quality products, but also exceptional customer service.  The brand had not only failed me in terms of quality, its poor exchange policy has left a distaste in my mouth. I was half-expecting the local boutique to charge me for the shoe expansion service, but thankfully they didn't.  I have to wait over a month before I can collect my shoes though.  

My search for nice comfortable work shoes continues...in the meantime, I can only hope that the artificial shoe expansion will improve the fit of those stubbornly uncomfortable shoes. And would I ever purchase another pair of branded shoes? I hate to admit it, but I probably would.  I still believe that a price must be paid for good craftsmanship.  But next time, I would have to be doubly sure the shoes fit like a Tee before I buy them.

First Words

26 Jul 2011

At 16 months old, my little J can say a variety of words, although his favourite language is still babbling.  Being a chatty boy who is full of expressions, he would go "orh orh orh" or "ng ng ng" when he doesn't know the actual words to say.  This is a little compilation of J's word of vocabulary so that I can remember his dearest first words:-

1. Bear - J's first word spoken on 5 Jun 2011. He looked at Berry (my pink toy bear) and said the magic  word. And then I showed him a picture of a bear (Eric Carle's Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?), said "bear", and he repeated the word after me.  J was evidently very happy with his accomplishment, cos for the rest of the evening he was going  "bear, bear, bear..." non-stop, even at bedtime. Both A and I were delirious that our baby has uttered his first word!

2. Ball - This is J's favourite toy since he knew the concept of toys and playtime.  I heard him say the word on 16 Jun 2011, when he came home with his grandparents and a brand new ball. My in-laws later told me he can say "ball" - looks like J had charmed his grandparents into buying him a new toy! 

3. There - One of J's most powerful words because it gets him to places. The first time he pointed at a certain direction and said "there", his Ye-Ye did as he directed and J had extra time out of the house! 

4. Bus - Whenever a bus passes, J'll point at it and go "Oh!". When we ask him what it is, he'll say "Ba" - his very own pronunciation of his favourite vehicle.

5. Bag - Noticed J was pretty good at pronouncing words starting with B, so I showed him a bag, pronounced the word, and he immediately repeated the word after me. Clever boy! 

6. Bye - J can do a nice smacking goodbye kiss and say bye at the same time.  This little boy doesn't like to stay at home, and is especially enthusiastic in giving a flying kiss when it means he gets to go out! 

7. Bao - J pronounces this with an ang mo accent and outstretched arms whenever he wants someone to carry him. 

8. Names - J can scream Ye (for Ye-Ye), pronounces Nai-Nai as Ngair Ngair Ngair, says Da or Ba (for Daddy) if we ask him to, he can pronunce Gu (for Aunt), but doesn't call me unless he is crying. Occasionally, he will say "Ba" when I ask me to say Mummy, but there were a couple of times he pronounced Mama perfectly when he was in tears and wanted my attention.  I can't really figure out why, but it seems that my little darling pronounces Mama only when he really wants my attention. 

9. Complete the word - J can complete selective words/phrases too. If we say "question", he will add on "mark". "Motor" is completed with "bike" (which sounds like mark but it sounds so adorable nonetheless!). "Air" is joined by "Ple" for "Apple".

10. Car - J recently learnt to pronounce "car" on 17 Jul 2011. I pointed to a car, repeated the word a few times, and then J said "car" very softly.  This is the only time I have heard J whisper! 

11. Woof - J loves animals, and he goes "oh" (his personal mimiction of a bark) whenever he sees a picture of a dog. Just a few days ago on 19 Jul 2011, J went "moo" when he saw pictures of cows! 

A Movie and A Book

The Movie
On my flight back from Italy, I watched a movie titled "Be with me" by Royston Tan. It contains a documentary of a 61 year old Singaporean lady, Theresa Chan Poh Lin, who has been blind and deaf from a young age.  She is an inspirational figure because she continues to lead life to the maximum despite her handicaps.  She even managed to pick up English despite her handicaps, and remains positive about life. This movie won a Special Mention Award at the Tokyo International Film Festival in 2005.

Many a times, I complain and even get angry at the smallest things (e.g. the Chinese man who cut my queue at the airport this morning), but God has shown me that I am so blessed. So blessed that I can see the beauty around me, hear my son's adorable voice, and being blessed with the ability to appreciate life to the fullest. I have had some downs in life, but they are minuscule relative to what this courageous lady had gone through.  I should be more appreciative and really, seriously, count my many blessings. May God bless this lady richly.  

The Book
One of the privileges of having great in-laws is that I can travel with A, catch up on my sleep, and read a book.  I started to enjoy reading in the past few years, but reading becomes a luxury and an almost impossible task when one has a young and active toddler. Anyway, I had the opportunity to read during my Italy holiday and picked a book from Amazon's list of bestsellers.  The title of the book would grab anyone's attention - Heaven is for real, A little boy's astounding story of his trip to heaven.

I believe in Heaven and Hell, and this book offers glimpses into what is awaiting us after this life.  It offers hope to those who have lost loved ones and reaffirms the faith of those who believe. In one of the chapters, the little boy shared that he met his unborn sister in heaven.  He did not know that his mother had miscarried previously and his sharing helped to heal the pain his mother had carried for years, as well as soothed the grief of another lady who gave birth to a stillborn. 

Obviously on the extreme, there can be 2 reactions to the contents of this book - as aptly displayed by A and myself.  A is not a believer and thinks the father (who is a pastor) could have cooked up the facts.  I believe in the truth of this story - what good would it do to falsify a story like this, and besides if he were really a pastor, he would know that it would be terribly wrong to do so.

This book will serve as a reminder to me how life should be led. When heaven is in perspective, it makes me look at things differently.  I will recommend this book to anyone because it has blessed me so much.